The Beast Within
It’s Friday Fictioneers day again! Under the watchful eye of our host Rochelle, we write 100 words in response to a photo prompt which this week has been supplied by Randy Mazie.
You can read the other entries here – the list grows all week so check back!
I hope no-one minds, but I altered the spelling of the “writing on the wall” within the story :-).
Copyright Randy Mazie
The building had stood empty for many years, long enough that the tree had grown from a mere promise to near full height. Every so often, questing shoots would slide between the boards on the window. Within seconds they withered, blackened and died.
“NO TRESPASSING.”
No human hand had penned those words.
Samuel was cold and hungry. He couldn’t face another night on the streets and the building looked perfect. He carefully pried one of the boards from the window and slipped inside.
The board snapped back, muffling his last agonised scream.
The beast within tolerated no intrusion.
No trespassing.
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draliman on life 
Cool little monster story 🙂 Where are the eagles when you need them?
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Ha! I’m not sure even Gwaihir could have gotten poor Samuel out of that one 🙂
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Great monster story, and in a hundred words a very clever feat. well done.
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Thanks! It needed cutting down from the first draft but not by very much, funnily enough.
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Oh I know, the 100 words can be very difficult to cut to and retain sense in your piece.
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Creepy, great job 🙂
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Thanks 🙂
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no means no. very cool story 🙂 love monsters and big beasts
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Me too, and all manner of other creepy things (not in real life though!).
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Very well done.
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Thanks!
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Can’t say he wasn’t warned. Nice story!
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Yes, it was right there in big slightly illiterate lettering!
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Very menacing story. I liked the visual impact of tendrils blackening after they permeate the structure. Well done.
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Thanks – I thought it would give prior indication of what might happen to poor Samuel.
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As always, great creativity and imagery, my Dralifriend! 🙂
~Andrea<3
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Thank you!
I felt it was high time I killed someone off again 🙂
Sometimes I worry about what goes on in my head 😦
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Really great horror story. Hard to do in 100 words!!!
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I’m glad you enjoyed it! It did need cutting down a little bit from the first draft but I’m getting better at being very sparing with the words.
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Poor Samuel, at least he found a warm place in the monster belly lol.
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Every cloud and all that…
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Another excellent submission! I don’t think it was wise to try correcting the Beast’s spelling, though… 😉
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Oh crumbs, I didn’t think of that! Looks like my days are numbered 😦
Thanks for continuing to read and comment on my mini-stories 🙂
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Great little monster story, darling. It certainly looks like the digs of a beast who just wants to be left alone.
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One warning is all you get!
I’m desperate to know what it looks like but I’m too scared to take a peek behind the boards…
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This was fun!
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Thanks! Not for Samuel, though 🙂
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Read the sign! Spooky.
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Yeah, it’s not like he wasn’t warned. I don’t think he was expecting anything like that, though!
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Chomp, chomp . . . buuurp!
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Nice little snack!
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Dear Draliman,
No human hand had written…creeeepy. (In a good way 😉 )
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Thanks! I thought it creepier to leave the exact nature of the “beast within” to our imaginations, though it’s obvious it doesn’t like visitors 🙂
draliman
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Ah DR-finally am here and wow-what a fun feast-I mean beast ;-)Loved this and the lines,”Every so often, questing shoots would slide between the boards on the window. Within seconds they withered, blackened and died.”-awesome!Enjoyed this beastly tale 😀
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Ha ha feast/beast!
I thought I’d use the tree to give a hint of what might happen to poor Samuel later on! Glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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😀 I liked that
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Thank you 🙂
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🙂
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Oooh! I like it. I wonder what the beast is, and how it can to be there.
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*came
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I’d like to know that too!
A mutated once-human? A visitor from another world – stranded or vanguard for an invasion? Did it slip through from the land of faerie?
I don’t even know what it looks like. I’m not sure I want to know 🙂
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And that’s how the beast fed… yikes
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I guess enough curious or desperate people stumble in to keep its belly full…
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Yummy, yummy, yeah. Dark DrAli is baaaaack! I don’t want to know what is in there.
That mind of yours could not allow you to misspell tresspass, interesting.
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I don’t want to know what is in there either!
I really didn’t want a misspelling in my story – it would almost have worked as who says the beast can spell? – but without having enough words to explain that I couldn’t bring myself to do it 🙂
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Ooh, it’s like the building is alive and breathing. You got me scared. I’m not going in there. This is a great horror story!
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Maybe over the years the beast has essentially become the building itself, weaving itself into the bricks and mortar – who can say without investigating further? I’m certainly not volunteering for the job!
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I would not want to be the postman to this house. Nasty, but well done!
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Hopefully the postie just slots the junk mail through the slats on the windows. Otherwise he’s in for a rough time!
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Ah! This is like street-Sandlot-for adults.
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I’m soooorrry – I’m missing the reference – I’ve Googled “Sandlot” and “Street Sandlot” extensively and it seems to have something to do with baseball?
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Agh! Sandlot was a 90s (80s?) movie about kids who played baseball– but a major part of the story was that there was this beastly legend of a dog behind a fence that would gobble them up.
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Aha! Yep, I see it now 🙂
And mine is for adults because my beast is not legend but REAL bwahahaha.
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At least Samuel won’t have to face another night on the streets…
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I bet the creature’s stomach is nice and warm and cosy 🙂
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