draliman on life

Last week was a strange week. The week before last I realised I had a load of holiday backed up, and very little time in which to take it! So I booked Monday to Thursday off last week. Usually I have weeks to work myself up to a holiday, but this came upon me rather suddenly.

On Monday, I was ill! This was most disagreeable. This is the first time I’ve had anything worse than a cold since early 2003 (when I had pneumonia), so it came as a bit of a surprise. I’d forgotten how rubbish it feels to be unwell. Even the pneumonia was no big deal – no pain, no discomfort, just a bit breathless. A couple of days in hospital and that was that.

This time I actually threw up! The first time in over eleven years. Yuck 😦 . I can’t even remember when I was ill before that – either all the vodka masked the symptoms or it sent all the bugs and viruses running for the hills.

Run, little diseases, run!

So, feeling a bit down and more than a little sorry for myself, imagine my excitement when I read the front of my ice cream tub and it promised me a “happiness message” inside!

I don’t usually do “happy”. My emotional range generally varies between “a bit down” and “reasonably content”. The only time I get annoyed (unless I’m driving – “driving draliman” is a completely different animal) is when I can’t get my computer at work to do what I want it to. Sometimes I get the urge to throw my mouse against a wall.

No, not that sort of mouse!

I’m so sorry, there’s been a communications mishap with the DraliDoodles^(TM) team. Let’s try that again.

That’s better.

So I was more than ready for some happiness! Here’s what I found inside.

“If you want to be happy, be” – Leo Tolstoy

What? What’s this then? What does that even mean? I was expecting something reasonably trite, like “To be happy, love yourself!” but instead I get a metaphysical message from a dead Russian. I’m sure it’s very deep and all, but I wasn’t in the mood for deep. Fortunately I had another tub (I like my ice cream, me). So I cracked it open, my excitement mounting. What would I find? What gem of happiness wisdom would I find?

“Which big cat should you never play cards with? A cheetah.”

Kill me now.

Note – no mousies were hurt during the writing of this post.