No Smoking
It’s that time of the week again – Friday Fictioneers time (regardless of the fact that it’s not Friday – boo 😦 ). Hosted by the amazingly talented Rochelle, a bunch of us get together to write a (roughly) 100 word story in response to a photo, which this week comes to us courtesy of Dawn Q. Landau.
To read everyone else’s amazing contributions, click here!
I’m in an odd mood this week. I’m not sure if my story is funny or tragic. I suspect it’s tragic but I find it quite amusing. I wonder if I need to seek professional help?
Maybe you should judge for yourselves…
Copyright Dawn Q. Landau
“No Smoking” in the gunpowder store was a given, but Samuel had been doing this job for ten years and he’d never had an accident. The cigarette dropped to the floor as he fell asleep.
The whole top of the mountain blew off.
Newlyweds Sally and Jeff walked hand-in-hand along the beach.
“Is it me or is it getting darker?”
“I think it is. I hope it doesn’t rain.”
“Me too. What’s that whooshing sound?”
The remains of the gunpowder store drove their mangled bodies into the sand. It’s still there to this day. So are Sally and Jeff.
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Friday Fictioneers
draliman on life 
OMG! tragic yes, seriously hilarious – absolutely! that made me laugh… maybe we both need counseling?
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I think it’s just the ridiculousness of it all – the top of a mountain flying off and squashing them 🙂
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I laughed as well, Sally and Jeff were pretty ‘smoking’ all right 😉
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Groooan 🙂
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Definitely tragic/comic. Got a laugh from me, so not sure what that says.
janet
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I’m glad I’m not the only one smiling over Jeff and Sally’s tragic demise 🙂
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echter Englischer schwarzer Humor 🙂 I love it!, Poor Sally and Jeff – wrong time, wrong place…
liebe Grüße
Carmen
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I have to admit I am a fan of black humour!
I’m glad you enjoyed it, Carmen 🙂
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Very sad and tragic, I had to stop and re read the end……well written as well.
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Thanks. I think the fact that they were newlyweds added to the “tragic” aspect.
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Not tragic, romantic love story.
Some might view it as such.
Your a romance writer now. Ha!
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Oh crumbs, how did that happen? 🙂
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OK, I literally LOL’ed. Which, considering all things, is a huge compliment to you and this story.
Thank you 🙂
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I’m so glad I could bring a smile to your face 🙂
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Wowza. 🙂
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Splat 🙂
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Definitely tragic but it is a bit funny.
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It’s like you don’t want to smile because of poor Sally and Jeff, but…
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Right.
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That is life all right. There you are, minding your own business, full of plans and concerns and pow! flattened by the top of a mountain.! :-).
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Yeah, don’t you just hate it when that happens?
🙂
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Oh NO!! Sally & Jeff were newlyweds?!
What a horrible start/end for them!
You’re such a romantic, my dralifriend!! 😀
Great writing!!
~Andrea<3
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Heh heh.
I thought making them newlyweds would add to the tragic nature of the piece 🙂
Thanks!
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I must be sick too because I think it’s hilarious!
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I read it again just now and I’m still smiling, which worries me a bit!
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That definitely was tragic for me. Nice piece of writing. ~Zainab
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Poor Jeff and Sally 😦
Thanks for reading!
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“What’s that whooshing sound?” I have to agree with Marilyn; it’s pretty hilarious 🙂
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Heh heh 🙂
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Darkly hilarious… just the way I like it.
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Me too, glad you enjoyed it!
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what a horrible way to spend a honeymoon! definitely tragic. so im glad you turned it into a dark comedy with the flying store landing on top of them and the whooshing sound…and all because samuel smoked 🙂
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Well, they say other people smoking can damage your health 🙂
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Dear Ali,
We are a twisted little group of fictioneers, aren’t we? Count me in amongst the dark humor fan club. Well crafted, or should I say, decomposed?
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
I think most people have seen the darkly funny side, so I shan’t check myself in for “observation” just yet 🙂
Ali
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Good show, old chap. This is both tragic and hilarious. I want to see this as a short animated film. Make it happen. Spare no expense! 🙂
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That would be awesome! Maybe I could get Brangelina to voice the leading couple 🙂
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Morgan Freeman can narrate and Gary Busey can voice Samuel, he’s probably crazy enough to smoke in a gunpowder store so he’d be a perfect fit.
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🙂
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Who must we get in touch with to make this a reality? It would be glorious I tell you.
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I’m thinking Zhang Yimo, the Chinese chap who directed several films as well as the Beijing Olympics opening ceremony. He’s just been fined $1.2 million by the Chinese government for having too many children (i.e. more than 1) so he probably needs the money 🙂
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I was thinking we could try to get Guillermo del Toro or Tim Burton on board, but your guy could work too.
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Well, I guess if money is no object we could get Tim Burton because then Danny Elfman is a shoe-in for the soundtrack.
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It’s no object to me. I told you to spare no expense. I didn’t say I’d be sparing no expense. 🙂
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Ah… the local college drama club it is then. How our lofty dreams have fallen 🙂
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Well, it was fun while it lasted. Maybe the next time I make such a request you will have done me the courtesy of becoming a millionaire. 🙂
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That reminds me, I need to check my lottery ticket 🙂
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Almost like a Monty Python sketch, where the second bit is one of those great cartoons.
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Now that you mention it, it is rather, isn’t it? I can actually see it in my mind’s eye now!
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I think this story is tragically funny. At least Sally and Jeff died together. You know, when I read this, it puts me in mind of an old cartoon. Does that make me morbid that I want to see it?
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No, I’m sure it would be good for a (tragic) laugh 🙂
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Haha. Plus there would be the usual dramatic cartoon music. I think it would be a hit.
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We could call it “Splat!” – which was the working title for the story 🙂
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Perfect!
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Haha! When I saw that photo I had a “WTAF?” kind of reaction– I think your story sounds like a great explanation for how that got there!
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The idea came to me within 2 seconds of seeing the photo, so it must be true!
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You sick, sick people, laughing when a gunpowder store drops from the sky. I mean really! 🙂
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Yeah but, a gunpowder store, right? Dropping from the sky!… heh heh heh 🙂
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Oh I am being facetious, it certainly was funny.
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🙂
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Ali, sorry you’re struggling right now, but frankly it doesn’t seem to be hurting your writing. I guess I didn’t get the humor (of course, there’s a dark, humorous tone), but thought the story overall was well done and works well. Dark twists for sure! Glad you enjoyed the prompt.
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I wouldn’t say struggling exactly (but thanks) – more in a state of heightened anxiety due to an imminent house purchase (yeeks) and worrying about it all going wrong last minute.
It was the cartoon-like image in my mind when I finished writing – made me smile! I’m not sure it was meant to be a black comedy when I started…
It was a great photo to write to, I’m glad you enjoyed my take on it 🙂
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Well, good luck on the house… try to take deep breaths and let the anxiety go. I know: easier said, but trust me, I get it. I’m going to send it out to the universe that it should all go well! Deep breath in, deep breath out… 😉
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Thanks!
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Great big funny! To me, it read like a scene that could have been in Time Bandits. Keep up the good work.
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It’s been a good long while since I saw that! Helena H-B actually likened the second part to a Monty Pythonesque cartoon and I think there were a few Pythons involved in that film.
Glad you enjoyed it!
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Yes!!! I couldn’t wait to see what you conjured up out of this FF when I saw it first on another blog! Another perfect entry for your Tales of Woe….
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Another tragic end to a FF tale… heh heh 😉
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Tragedy and melancholy…
Nice!
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Thanks!
(So sorry for taking a while to respond, your comment fell into my spam box for some reason, but I rescued it.)
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You had me at gunpowder store. 😀
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🙂
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The good news for the newlyweds is they’ll be together forever and don’t have to worry about breaking their “till death do us part” vow. I find that extremely refreshing.
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Funnily enough, that crossed my mind as well!
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That Samuel! Will he be disciplined? Poor Sally & Jeff!
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I’m thinking he was probably blown into a million little pieces!
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At least they went together.
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Very true.
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What a tragic end! Great storytelling. I really enjoyed this.
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Tragic indeed! And for Samuel too, though it was his fault.
I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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Tragically funny.
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Tragic and funny. A success!
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🙂
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ROFLMAO, OMG That’s bloody hilarious. I haven’t had much time on here recently but I can see that you’ve been really busy lol. I’m just trying to catch up with your stuff now 🙂
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Another tick in the “funny” column 🙂
I noticed you’ve been a rovin’ around my blog – my inbox lit up like a Christmas tree. Thanks!
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My pleasure 🙂
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