More Haste…
I have completed my house move! Well, I have yet to re-assemble my bed, and I can barely move for boxes, but still… I missed last week’s Friday Fictioneers but I now have my internet connected. Fibre at last! Call me Mr Speedy.
So without further ado, here is my submission, written to a photo submitted by Fictioneerer Sandra Crook. As always, Rochelle is hosting the whole shebang, so be sure to check out her website, and you can also read the other submissions here.
Copyright Sandra Crook
I don’t believe it. Another tractor! Can’t these farmers move their straw in the middle of the night or something? What’s he doing? Fifteen miles per hour? Ridiculous. What about my dinner?
Ah, I think I can slip past… no! That was close. Damn cars coming at me. Maybe in a minute, I think there’s a straight bit. Here we go… oops. Dammit! More traffic. I can’t believe this. Pull over, moron! I’ve had enough of this. I’m going past. There’s never anything on this stretch. Foot down, yes! No! NO!
Jim Preston. Loving husband. Father of three.
Idiot.
Dead.
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draliman on life 
That’s what we call “a traffic jam” in the country 🙂
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Yup. And it doesn’t get any more rural than Cornwall. It’s like the entire county is one big tractor-fest!
Um – by “traffic jam” were you referring to him being the jam…? 🙂
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Oh, what a sad end. I guess you can’t chance it with a tractor. That’s life in the country.
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I hate driving behind tractors. And we have a lot of tractors.
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Oh, how I missed you!
And I love that you have your priorities in order. Bed? Eh. Internet? Yes!
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Thanks, it’s nice to be missed 🙂
I had my TV, Blu-ray player, surround sound system and DVR connected within an hour of moving in. Then I thought “stuff the rest of it”, lay down on the couch and started watching Stargate Atlantis DVDs 🙂
Maybe I’ll reassemble my bed this weekend. I’m getting a bit too old for sleeping on a two-seater couch.
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I love it. Give me the country life any day. 🙂
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Same here. Cornwall (the county I live in) is almost all countryside anyway, but I’ve just moved into a tiny village. The only sound you can hear is the birds tweeting. Lovely!
It didn’t work out so well for my impatient protagonist, however 🙂
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Oh no, he missed dinner. That would had ticked me off, I like my food.
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I hate missing my dinner too. I don’t suppose my protagonist cares any more, mind.
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Ouch…lol.
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Crunch 😦
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Funny, darling — (not ha ha funny) this was a recurring theme this week — getting caught behind a slow moving tractor. Jen over at elmowrites wrote a really good piece. I liked the newspaper clipping quality of your piece.
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I thought it might be – I had ideas for a few stories but the ending for this one hit me straight away so I went with it. As usual I made sure not to read any of the other stories before writing mine! I’ll get to them tomorrow (in between unpacking and whatnot – I have no clothes left which are not in boxes somewhere!).
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Yes, there’s nothing like driving in France. Roads built in medieval times. Two way traffic on one way streets. Some of the strangest traffic laws in the world, and no one obeys them anyway. Spent two weeks there once, and made it out alive (and only 1,500 Euros damage to the rental 8^).
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I’ve heard about driving in France and I don’t fancy it much! I drive along a few narrow roads to work with high hedges on both sides (typical of Cornwall) which makes it feel even narrower. If you get stuck behind a tractor on one of those you can be there a while!
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A little patience never killed anyone….
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Impatience, on the other hand…
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Probably killed a lot more people. Or at least caused a lot more trouble. I’ve never heard of anyone getting in trouble for being too patient.
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Slow and steady wins the race, as they say.
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Great presentation of the piece.
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Thanks!
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Great pic. Sometimes I see stacks of haystacks on top of trucks on the freeway. Imagine having some of that hay hitting your windshield.
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I see that too – it always looks so precarious! And hay bales are surprisingly heavy.
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You’ve caught the scene well, D-Man – as usual. So sad; another temporary citizen. All our local roads are 50kph It doesn’t stop idiots overtaking you at 70kph though and there’s never any flashing lights around. After moving ten times in 40 years, I learnt very quickly that the first task before anything else is put the beds up. Then you can work as late as you like unpacking and collapse into bed whenever you want 🙂
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I see the same thing. How fast you can go seems more important than how fast you’re allowed to go.
Problem is, to make the bed I need to clear a space. I need to get my clothes out of boxes and into the wardrobe, out of the way. Which means I need to reassemble the wardrobe. Which is propped up in pieces behind the bed. You see my dilemma? 🙂
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Wow what a loving family to call him an idiot in the obituary 🙂 congrats on the move
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I think maybe they were a little pissed off with him 🙂
Thanks!
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Yes that is what happens! Seen it nearly happen a few times.
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Me too 😦
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Oh,have seen many such idiots-fortunately(or unfortunately) they survived!Excellent writing-you captured the nuances very well DR,-I could see the scene unfold in front of my eyes and hoped that he will manage to scrape through-but that was not be 🙂
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No, sadly he didn’t make it home to dinner.
I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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🙂
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First of all, congratulations on your move, now you can start nesting, whic is the only bit I like about moving.
Secondly, great story, it could be about me lol. I’ve been stuck behind a few tractors & had exactly that debate going on in my head. Fortunately I’ve always managed to wait til I could see what was happening 🙂
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Fortunately they move quite slowly so you don’t need too much room to get past. More room than my protagonist had, however.
I’ll start nesting once I’ve finished unpacking!
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Ha Ha
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Good story. And all too realistic….
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Thanks, and sadly true.
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Oops. Jim really should have waited a bit more. But then, given the sort of impatience he exhibited there, its likely he would have met a similar end on some other road some other fine day! Loved the story 😀
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Yes, I think he was bound to come a cropper eventually.
I’m glad you liked the story!
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Road rage kills. But it’s quite frustrating to get behind a slow-moving vehicle that you can’t pass. Don’t ask me how I know that, though. 🙂
Congratulations on your new move. I had to laugh when I read “Fibre at last”, thinking of dietary fiber at first. That too will pass! Ha!
janet
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Yeah, I hate getting stuck behind tractors.
Ha, dietary fibre and “Mr Speedy” 🙂
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h, it does happen. Bloody tractors.
Good luck with the bed. Have some flowers for the new place.
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Thanks. I don’t like “making” the bed, let alone actually making/assembling it!
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I’m really concerned about the last NO…was that right before BOOM
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Unfortunately, yes.
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They should give the tractors their own roads. And it would be cool to see a headstone with the word “Idiot” carved onto it….
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Special tractor roads would be cool! Before I moved all but the last half mile was dual carriageway, so no problem despite the number of tractors. Not any longer, unfortunately.
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a good and amusing message.
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Thanks, and thank you for reading and commenting!
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Having grown up in the country, I’m laughing at the city slicker referring to hay as straw. Obviously, that wasn’t the only thing our unfortunate protagonist didn’t know about.
I personally think the piece would be stronger without the “explanation” at the end. JMHO.
Cheers!
Marie Gail
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Unfortunately he’s not going to have the time to learn “country ways” 😦
Thanks for the criticism. The final bit is supposed to be an epitaph/tombstone type thing. It probably would have been better if I’d done some formatting on it (centralise, maybe a background to make it more newspaper-like).
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I thought the way you handled it was quite brilliant, clever and funny.
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Thanks!
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Dear Ali,
I got a kick out of “Idiot” being part of his epitaph. I’ve ridden with him many times. At least his evil twin. Welcome back and I’m glad to see you have your priorities straight. 😉
shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
I had to get my FF in! Even though I haven’t unpacked my clothes yet 🙂
Alistair
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It was so easy to see this playing out – unfortunately. Great pacing.
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Yes – it had quite an inevitable conclusion. Thanks for reading!
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LOL funniest epitaph ever. good thing he’ll never get to read the inscription and know what his kids really think of him. haha 🙂
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I think they were a bit peeved with him 🙂
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Wow..now that’s a story haha 🙂
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🙂
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Well written with a dark humor ending. I felt that ending coming as I’ve been in a car with a driver like that. He (and I) were more fortunate than Jim.
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It must be very frightening to be in a car with someone who keeps taking chances like that.
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Sigh, the comments are like a montage of a lot of really cool people who no longer blog….
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Yes, I had a look through 😦
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