Singleness of Purpose
Here’s my contribution for this week’s Friday Fictioneers. This is a 100-ish word photo prompt hosted by Rochelle – be sure to check out her blog! – and this week the photo has been contributed by fellow Fictioneerer Douglas M. MacIlroy. Thanks, Doug!
To view all the other contributions for this week, click the little blue fellow below. Check back often as more are added during the week. Why not have a go yourself? It’s fun 🙂
Copyright Douglas M. MacIlroy
Resolute of purpose, the dreaded Snail Army made its ponderous way towards the art display.
“Look, my soldiers!” roared Snail-Commander. “Our shelled fellows, captured and affixed to wood! We shall rescue them!”
“LIBERATE! LIBERATE!” came the reply.
“We shall destroy their captors!”
“ELIMINATE! ELIMINATE!”
“And then, victorious, we shall eat, drink and be merry!”
“FORNICATE! FORNICATE!”
“Come, death or glory awai… hang on, is that lettuce over there?”
The dreaded Snail Army swivelled to look.
“I believe it is, Commander,” said Snail-Sergeant.
“My friends, we have a new goal!”
Resolute of purpose, the dreaded Snail Army made its ponderous way towards the salad bowl.
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draliman on life 
OK, this has me laughing for too many different reasons to list! Well done 😀
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Yay, I’m glad it made you laugh 🙂 Thanks!
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I can picture that. Very good!
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Thanks! I have a very clear picture of the little guys as well.
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Really…I worry about your mind! hahahahahaha
So, England…I loved it so much I already rebooked flights to go back over for March-May. Staying 2mos this time, so I can make it to all the areas I missed. (there were so many things to see at the British Museum/Tate/Westminster that I really got sidetracked by London!)
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I’m glad you enjoyed England so much! It would be easy to spend loads of time in London. I could do a couple of days there, but I prefer the peace and quiet of the countryside.
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I definitely want to see Northumberland and the Cornwall area and will be travelling solo this time so won’t have to take my daughter’s interests into consideration! Being young and hip, she was all about London and the scene. LOL my “scene” days are like decades over and done with, so the countryside and seacoasts will beckon this next time around!!
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I don’t even remember my “scene” days 🙂
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Love the whimsical dialogue.. it reminds me of the Dufflepuds from the world of Narnia…
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Glad you liked it, I enjoy doing dialogue.
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That got a LOL out of me!
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Yay 🙂
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Brilliant, funny, perfect 🙂
I’m glad I decided to read one more story before going to bed 🙂
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I’m glad I was able to make you smile 🙂
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I have a mental image of the snail army very very slowly making its way to the ultimate destination … I’m still laughing.
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They’ll get there eventually – if they don’t change their minds again…
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the images brings great positive energy!
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It would be a comical scene!
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Ali, That was truly hilarious. I could just picture it, and it made my morning. I hope the people in that house arn’t French. The army could end up as the main dish. Well done (pun unintended). 🙂 — Susan.
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I’m glad you enjoyed it! Ending up in a pan with a nice bit of butter would put an end to their campaign right quick 🙂
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That really made me giggle. Your timing was spot on. Thanks for my first laugh of the day.
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You’re welcome! I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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My absolute favourite this week 🙂
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Wow, thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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You’re welcome.
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Awesome, my friend – It’s truly fantastic how much character you build in these short pieces. I’d like to request a part 2 of their invasion of the salad bowl please. I like these guys!
Well done!!
~ Andrea ❤
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Thanks! They do have a certain charm 🙂
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Dear Draliman,
Fornicate! Fornicate! i am still laughing as I type this response to your fabulous story. The dreaded snail army devoured the salad… Hook line and sinker, I was on board for your fine read.
Aloha,
Doug
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Dear Doug,
They change their minds so often, I hope they eventually get to the “fornicate, fornicate” 🙂
I’m so glad you enjoyed it!
Ali
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Dear Ali,
I love where your twisted head went with this one. No doubt the dreaded snail army will be distracted on its way to the salad bowl. 😉 You made me smile and laugh. Great timing after a snail fashion. Entertainment at its finest.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
I had trouble with this one and almost put it off until tonight, when this mad story entered my mad head 🙂
I wonder if they’ve actually ever completed their currently stated goal? I think the salad is safe.
I’m really glad you enjoyed it!
Ali
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Fear not the dreaded snail army, for they are easily distracted and not very imposing. Good story!
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In fact you might easily step on them on the way to the bathroom 🙂
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Indeed. That would be unfortunate. I don’t want snail guts on the bottom of my shoes.
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I hear the Snail-Commander is particularly hard to scrape off.
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Could be worse. It could be the unruly horde of slugs. Nobody wants to deal with that mess.
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“Resolute of purpose,” all’s fair in love and war! That is to say, until food interrupts …
Love the humor and the craft of your story! I’m still laughing.
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The lettuce is just to scrumptious-looking to snail eye-stalks 🙂
I’m glad you enjoyed my story!
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This was wonderful. I reckon by the time they make it to the salad bowl someone will have eaten it.
Claire
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I think the salad is definitely safe from the snails. I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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As someone who fights snails and slugs, tooth and nail, day in and day out (I live in the rain country of Washington) this made me laugh out loud. Thank you!
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You’re welcome! I bet you didn’t realise they were so organised 🙂
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Oh my gawd! So much for honor and rescue – dinner is served! So imaginative and hilarious!
Ellespeth
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Don’t get between a slug and his lettuce 🙂
I’m glad you enjoyed it!
Ali
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Beware the dreaded snail army! This couldn’t get any better – you are keyed in to the fantasy world of slugs. I love it! Love it – I’m telling you – Awesome! Nan 🙂
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I’m glad you liked it so much! And to think I was completely stumped for most of Wednesday by this photo. Thanks for reading and for such a lovely comment 🙂
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There is nothing that strikes fear in the heart of man more than an army of charging snails…
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Reminds me of that bit in Austin Powers where that vehicle is “charging” ever so slowly towards one of the henchmen, who just stands there and screams as it trundles ever closer…
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Well written – this was fun and funny.
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Thanks! I enjoyed writing it, it made me smile 🙂
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Very funny. This made me laugh, Alistair. Salad would be a goldmine for the snails, like nirvana!
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We can only hope they get there before they get sidetracked again (or someone eats it)!
I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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That was so funny, the ‘fornicate, fornicate’ had me laughing out loud. Your dialogue was spot on, another great piece 🙂
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Thanks, I like writing dialogue! Slugs like a bit of “party fun” too 🙂
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I got a definite feeling of dalek with those repeated ‘ate’ words. Love the singularity of purpose, and how easily it can be changed. Great voices and an inspired idea. Lots of fun.
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I thought “dalek” too so I was careful to use “eliminate” rather than “exterminate”! I’m glad you liked it.
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I knew I couldn’t be the only one thinking of the Daleks!
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Love it! Snail army, they are so slow, I can’t imagine how funny it will be they getting ready to attack something and changing direction to the lettuce. Well done!
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It would be rather comical to watch… and watch… and watch…
Thanks!
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I have the biggest smile on my face right now. This is wonderful!
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I’m glad I made you smile 🙂
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Greatest of stories.
Great dialogue as always.
I smiled but couldn’t laugh, snail focus reminds me of my own lately. It’s exhausting.
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I’m glad you liked it! Hope you get your focus back soon.
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HIlarious. So funny. Love the dalek allusion.
Marg
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Glad you liked it!
Daleks and snails both have eyestalks… 🙂
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Wonderful take on the prompt! I love stories from an unusual POV. The snails here at my house do a ferocious job consuming my potted plants. They actually do seem to come in armies. I’ll think of your story the next time I pluck them from the plants and toss them out into the yard. 🙂
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Thanks!
Careful when you grab Snail-Commander – he bites 🙂
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Oh my, this is amazing. You snailed it!
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Ha ha 🙂
Thanks!
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This is so much fun!
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I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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