Nip and Tuck
Here is my contribution to Friday Fictioneers for this week. Friday Fictioneers is a 100-ish word challenge hosted by Rochelle over at Addicted to Purple.
You’d think I’d have a million ideas for this week’s photo, contributed by Jean L. Hays. But no! It started off as comedy dialogue, but it got shreddited (shredded during editing – get it?).
I ended up trying to make a point. Sort of. Maybe. Then I shreddited this version as well. Not really my thing, but here it is anyway.
Click on the blue frog to see other contributions for this week.
Copyright Jean L Hays
Once, Adam Automobile had been happy.
But the cars on the billboards and in the adverts looked so – sexy! Suddenly his corners weren’t sharp enough. His lines weren’t sleek enough.
So… a nip here. A tuck there. A shovel on the front. Digger welded on the back. Made him look like a scorpion.
This is an improvement. Isn’t it?
Fame, fortune, women!
They’d laughed at him. They’d all laughed at him.
So here he sat, his bodywork mutilated in the pursuit of an impossible dream, a fantasy look.
But… maybe… a little more bodywork. Just a little nip here, a tuck there…
Once, Adam Automobile had been happy.
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Friday Fictioneers
draliman on life 
At the risk of sounding completely insane, I can kind of relate.
Only, I don’t want to look like a scorpion. That’ll scare the guys further away, I think 🙂
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Poor BABY. A deformed classic, tortured soul. My heart goes out to … him? It?
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I have no idea why someone did that to such a classic-looking car.
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Does this car “live” in California?
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It’s entirely possible. Once upon a long ago the story was actually Hollywood-related.
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Harrumph picking on California!!
New Jersey or Texas or possibly our step child Florida.
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🙂
I like how no-one ever wants to take responsibility for Florida.
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Ali, That’s what too much surgery, too many nips and tucks can do to you. Poor thing.:) Well written and humorous. 🙂 — Susan
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Exactly. It can become an addiction. Glad you liked it!
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I got the message good one too.
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I’m glad you saw the message, thanks!
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dream come true!
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🙂
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I loved the Aesop’s fable type style of this, nice 🙂
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Glad you liked it!
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Your shredditting did you proud. This might be a bit goofy, but I like it. Sort of a Kardashian car.
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I like that, “Kardashian car”. That could become a “thing” 🙂
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Yup we have those types in Hollywood.
Literally thinking, a great car for our freeways.
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Traffic queues would be a thing of the past with all those accessories.
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Sounds like half of the faded glamour girls of Hollywood.
DJ
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Yes, sadly.
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It wasn’t the best looking car on the block anyway…with a little work it can only look worse 🙂
This poor Edsel…
Ellespeth
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Often the way that the more work is done, the worse it gets.
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This prompted me to google a certain well known plastic surgery fanatic so I could link up a surname. But I decided not to use it and I feel poorly now. Nice story, but sad in its way.
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It is sad, I feel sorry for him/it.
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I think Adam Automobile might be Michael Jackson reborn. Don’t think he’s ever going tobe happy again.
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I think you’re right, on both points.
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This is the way Joan Rivers started. (Oh, did I type that out loud??) 😦
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Yes, yes you did 🙂
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Once you go under the spanner, you can’t stop…or so I’ve heard.
Nice story!
Claire
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Hee hee, very true! It’s a slippery slope.
Ali
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Dear Ali,
Adam’s looking for happiness in all the wrong garages, I fear. Good message. And a little car shall lead them.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Indeed he is. I’m glad you liked the message!
Ali
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Dear Draliman,
They say that once you go under the knife, you never really are satisfied. I love what your shedditing arrived at. Very well done. Perhaps a convertible top?…
Aloha,
Doug
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Dear Doug,
I can well believe that – there will always be something else you want “fixed”. A convertible top would be nice!
Ali
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Everyone else has already compared Adam with all of the good plastic surgery celebs… so I’ll just say that Adam has a future in the do-it-yourself roadkill removal business. I may have to rent him for a Buster comic!
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He would be good at removing Buster bits from the road 🙂
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I love the parallels between cosmetic surgery and car modification.
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Thanks, that’s what I was aiming for, glad you liked it!
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Poor Adam, you really have to feel sorry for him. Great social comment D-man. Adam needs to stop now or he’ll end up like Jocelyn Wildenstein.
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Thanks! I had to Google “Jocelyn Wildenstein”. Oh. My. God. It’s too early in the morning to be seeing stuff like that.
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LOL I know. Poor silly woman.
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Yes it can go too far.. but I guess the dreams go on..
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They do, but I hope he knows when to stop.
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Good one! This is how it always starts. 🙂
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It is, thanks!
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Satire and pathos do mix, in fact – You are talented, Ali!
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It was tricky but I got there in the end. Thank you!
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Despite the struggle, you’ve written a wonderful story none the less. Nice job!
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Thanks! Probably my most edited FF story to date.
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Is this a Joan Rivers spin off? Randy
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🙂
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great spin!!! your shedditing proved most successful! is it too soon for joan rivers jokes, just sayin’
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Thanks, it bears no relation whatsoever to my original effort.
You wouldn’t be the first to mention Ms Rivers in the comments here!
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Dear Draliman, Great style and great story! Love it and smartly written! Nan 🙂
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Dear Nan, thanks very much! I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂 Ali
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Really funny, those airbrushed car photos have a lot to answer to.
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They certainly do. It shouldn’t be allowed 🙂
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Adam has been paying to much attention to advertising! lol Fun story.
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There’s a lot of that around. Glad you liked it!
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I love it! It’s perfect. All that shredditing worked wonders for you, your story that is. It’s especially funny since your story is about nip/tucking.
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Hah, that’s true, my story certainly got a lot of nip and tucking!
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Loved the story…but where is the nip, must be somewhere in the truck, right?… Pawniffles 😀
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Heh heh 🙂
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There will always be a younger, firmer model on the market. Better spend that money on something more indulging. Great story, no struggles visible.
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Should have gone for some nice leather heated seats instead.
Thanks!
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Wow! That was mordant! Nip and tuck, eh? Quite a comment on how society pursues ‘beauty’ madly and stupidly.
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Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed my little social commentary!
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Awesome my Dralifriend! I absolutely love your term shreddited <- truly fantastic. And I LOVE your latest tale of the self obsessed vehicle on the hunt to continuously "improve" – Actually, I'd love to see what else he could do to himself?? Giant wings off the sides maybe?? Great job!
~ Andrea ❤
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I’m sure giant wings would sound like a great idea until he actually has the work done…
I’m glad you liked my story!
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