Evidence
Here is my contribution for this week’s Friday Fictioneers, a weekly flash challenge hosted by Rochelle where we write a 100-ish word story based on a photo. This week’s photo was contributed by Georgia Koch.
For this week’s other contributions, click on the little blue froggy. You can also use this link to add your own story to the mix!
Never one for altruism, Franco’s friends (if it could be said that he had friends) were astonished when he joined “Save Our Barges”. An ex-mobster, charity was never his thing.
He chatted to the great and good, raised funds, worked tirelessly until at last he made it onto the charity’s board… until at last he was granted access to the Betty May.
The charity’s latest restoration project, the Betty May was locked away in dry dock, awaiting much-needed love and a tender touch.
That night the Betty May burnt to charcoal. Some of Franco’s secrets were best left buried.
Clever – I liked that ending, the twist worked as I wasn’t sure what Franco’s angle was. Well done.
KT
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Glad you liked it! He surely had an angle, but I wanted to keep it under wraps until the last moment.
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I like this. One of my favorites so far. Well done!
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Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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Dear Draliman,
Patience is a virtue few have and even fewer learn. A wonderful object lesson in your fine tale.
Aloha,
Doug
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Dear Doug,
It must have taken months if not years until he finally gained access to the barge. Patient indeed!
Ali
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Dear Ali,
And so it goes without saying that altruism was never Franco’s reason for joining. 😉 Clever story that comes full circle. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Nope, looks like his “friends” were right to be astonished. Glad you liked it!
Ali
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Charity work always warms my heart! That’s one less barge that’s a blight on the riverside!
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Much more room for the power boats now!
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A leopard never changes its spots…shame really, because he sounds like a really good fund raiser!
Good story 🙂
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I think he’s missed his calling. I wonder what he’ll get up to next 😦
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I was going to say a tiger never changes its stripes, but I see Aileen has beaten me to the wild feline comparison 😀
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You’ve got to be quick with the cat comparisons 🙂
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Darn my lack of cat-like reflexes!
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Oh my…there goes my fishing 😦 Pawkisses for the Weekend 🙂 ❤
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I’m sure there are no burning boats were you are 🙂
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I really like this story but I have to add a small critique. The use of “until at last” twice in the second paragraph, disturbs the flow, at least for me.
Other than that, wonderfully imaginative as always!
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Thanks!
That repetition was actually deliberate. That was the one bit I edited (twice in fact). The second part started as a new paragraph, then dots into more dots in a new paragraph, then finally it was one sentence with dots. I read it again after reading your comment and it sounded wrong, then I read it the way I wanted it to sound and it sounded okay 🙂 Maybe I should have left it as two paragraphs so it could only go one way. Thanks for the critique, always welcome!
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i didn’t expect the ending. gullible me.
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Yeah, there’s always a twist or something going to happen in the last sentence 🙂
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An ex-mobster charity, yeah, something sounds fishy, especially when they’re dealing with boats. Great, imaginative take, Ali! You always have the most original ideas.
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Very imaginative, these mobsters. Gotta admire Franco’s patience!
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Thank you, I always enjoy reading you.
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Thanks! I’m glad you liked it.
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Wow, Ali. I wonder now what Franco’s secrets were. Perhaps where he buried the bodies. Well done. 🙂 — Suzanne
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I reckon it’s probably a little ledger of his dodgy dealings (and also perhaps a body or too!).
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You do intrigue so well 😉
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Thanks 🙂
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I knew Franco couldn’t have changed his spots, but you’ve left me wondering what he had secreted on the Betty May. Great story.
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After a life of crime it seemed unlikely he’d changed.
Only Franco knows what was on the boat and now it’s ashes 🙂
Glad you liked it!
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At least he got to do some fund-raising before he quit the charity scene.Franco’s acquaintances would have all been saying ‘I told you so.’ Well told.
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He finally did some good in his life even if it was for his own ends. Glad you liked it!
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very mysterious.
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Indeed 🙂
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Knowing where the bodies — and other things — are buried. A gift, and a curse 🙂
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At least he raised a lot of money making sure they stayed buried.
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True flash. Each reader wanting to know more. Great job.
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Thanks, sometimes I like to leave a bit of mystery at the end.
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Some secrets are best left uncovered – had me guessing until the end.
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I went to great pains to keep you all guessing as long as possible 🙂
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Uh Oh, appears the Betty Mae may be harboring a secret. :-O
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Not any more heh heh 🙂
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Haha! True! (She did harbor a secret). 😀 Enjoyed it!
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So that’s where Jimmy Hoffa is. I knew it!
DJ
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Maybe, but now we’ll never know 🙂
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I guess some thing are better burned than buried.. great take on this..
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Thanks, yes, whatever it was is gone for good now.
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Great job! The whole time I was reading I was trying to figure out Franco’s angle. I knew he had to had an angle, but I wasn’t expecting the twist at the end. Very enjoyable!
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It was certainly too much to hope for that he’d had a change of heart. I’m glad you liked my little twist!
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Somehow I knew what was coming but was pleasantly surprised when it did. Bad Franco!
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The cards were on the table! I’m glad you liked the ending.
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A story about a mobster gone philanthropist always leads to great questions!
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Yes, people will wonder about ulterior motives. And they’d be right!
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Haha love the twist!
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Glad you enjoyed the twisty ending 🙂
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Such ceaseless, altruistic hard work from an ex-mobster certainly raises a few eyebrows, but you manage to keep Franco’s motives cleverly hidden right to the end. Excellent.
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Glad you liked it! My goal was to raise suspicions but not reveal his true motives until the very end.
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You did that perfectly.
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Leopards don’t change their spots, do they? Nice job pulling me along. While suspicious, I had just relaxed when you pulled your punch. 😉
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I lulled you into a false sense of security, just like Franco did 🙂
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Dear Draliman, Great story – He must have left some evidence on the Betty May. He is not a philanthropist he is an arsonist. Too bad, but I agree with Dawn, a leopard doesn’t change his spots! Good job! Nan
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I reckon all evidence is gone – he didn’t get this far by being sloppy!
Glad you liked it 🙂
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Whatever it was, the tracks are well and truly covered now Nice one.
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Yep, I guess now he can quietly disappear. Thanks!
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Draliman,
Well written. Never trust a member of the mob–at least not with a restoration project.
All my best,
Marie Gail
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Marie Gail,
Thanks! You should see those guys when they visit a World Heritage Site – mayhem 🙂
Ali
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“Save Our Barges” 😛 Now that’s funny. I enjoyed this piece…
Ellespeth
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I just noticed the acronym is “SOB”, which fits quite well if you get upset at the prospect of our barges not getting saved!
Glad you liked it 🙂
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