The Great Escape
Here is my contribution to Friday Fictioneers. This is a weekly flash fiction challenge hosted by Rochelle in which we write 100-ish words in response to a photo prompt. This week’s photo is of a maze, and was contributed by Melanie Greenwood.
To see the other stories for this week, or to contribute your own, click on the blue froggy.
Copyright Melanie Greenwood
No, no, this looks familiar. I’ve been this way before. I must escape. Getting hungry. Tired. Thirsty. This way. No – dead end. Can’t last much longer. Try down here. No! No way though. Please, somebody, help me. I’m going to die in here. I’ll never see my babies again. Please, somebody…
“This is shit. How long’s it been?”
“Three hours. This is the dumbest mouse ever.”
“Maybe it’s just playing dumb like those mice in that Douglas Adams thing. Maybe it’s a hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional being.”
The scientists peered at it for a moment as it wandered around the maze.
“Nope. It’s a dumbass.”
Click here to read about Douglas Adams’ “mice” (links to Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Wiki)
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draliman on life 
I think it’s a hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional being.
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I think it is, too. Running experiments on the scientists to see how long they’ll stand there watching.
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I think they are pan-dimensional too…but not when I’m around 😀 Pawkisses 🙂 ❤
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A quick pan-dimensional snack 🙂
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I needed this one today, thank you for that.
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You’re very welcome.
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Aww I laughed but then I felt really bad for the mouse!
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Yeah, I felt bad for the mouse too. I wondered if anyone else would mention it! I expect the scientists got fed up and set him free 🙂
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I like to think she is back with her babies.
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Me too, especially having just read your FF story.
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I chuckled out loud. Marvelous after all the sad stories today.
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I’m going through a comedy phase 🙂 Glad you liked it!
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I laughed out loud as well 😉
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I’m glad I brought a smile to your face 🙂
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Ha.. must say I think the scientists might be right…
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Most mice would have surely escaped by now, even by accident 🙂
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Yay for Adams references!
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Gone but never forgotten.
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Fine story, Dr. I always appreciate a reference to Douglas Adams. The thoughts of the mouse make the ending even more hilarious. Nicely handled.
All my best,
Marie Gail
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Thanks! I hoped that adding Douglas Adams would add a little extra to my maze story.
I’m glad you liked it.
Ali
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Wouldn’t a pan-dimensional being just pass through the walls of the maze? Or something…I don’t know anymore…
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Yeah, you’d think…
Maybe it’s playing its own game with the scientists. Or maybe it is just a mouse 🙂
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Great, Ali. Maybe the maze is too fragrant for the little mouse or she’s too hungry. She can’t think. Very funny.
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She must be in a real tizz by now, certainly. Glad you liked it!
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The scientists peered at it for a moment as it wandered around the maze.
“Nope. It’s a dumbass.”,,,love it!
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I’m glad 🙂
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The mouse is surely more intelligent keeping the scientists waiting on tenterhooks.. reality TV.
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Yeah – I reckon it knows what it’s doing, alright!
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I’m cheering for the mouse!
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Me too! Left a bit, next right… we’ll soon have him out of there 🙂
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That mouse isn’t entirely stupid! He knew to avoid the FF stories where unwitting characters get killed to death….
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Exactly. A long slow agonising death through lack of food and water instead 🙂
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Your mouse story best not effect my mouse killing. If I start feeling anything for mice I will be overrun.
I’m honestly worried.
This is not good.
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I’m sorry to hear you have a mouse problem 😦 Try laying some mazes around the place 🙂
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Dear Draliman, Excellent story of a dumb-ass mouse! Good job! Nan 🙂
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Dear Nan, I’m glad you liked my underachieving mouse story 🙂 Ali
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I am cheering for the mouse too!
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Yay, go mouse!
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At least the ‘dumbass’ reference wasn’t directed at me – again. And I also thank you for the Adams reference. 😀
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It’s always good to remember the great and creative minds of our time.
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Poor mouse. I think you were a bit hard on him in the story, Ali. Have pity and drop some crumbs or something. He may not be the smartest mouse in the lab, but he has a family waiting for him. 😦 Hilarious as usual, and well done. 😀 — Suzanne
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I’m sure the scientists won’t let this go on much longer. Since the mouse is probably going to skew their results I expect they’ll let him go back to his family 🙂
I’m glad you liked it!
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Hahaha! So funny DM!
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It’s laughter time on the drali web 🙂
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Lots of fu, this is. Thanks for bringing a smile to a rather gloomy day.
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I’m glad my story brought a smile to your face 🙂
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this made me laugh. very funny.
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Glad you liked it!
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Ahh Drali did you HAVE to use a mouse? 😥
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I’m sure they let him go 🙂
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LOL!
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Oh I do love Douglas Adams, and any story that refers to him 🙂 fantastic!
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Thanks, I love his writing too!
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DA fan, but I had visions of Flowers for Algernon also. Funny and sad at the same time
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I did feel sorry for the mouse as I wrote it. But I needed to make it sound like a human and get some sympathy going for the story to work!
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I’m calling PETA.
I’m having such angst for that mouse.
Help the mouse!!!!!
Randy
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Maybe if the photo works next week I’ll have it escape and take its revenge!
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Cute response but mouse revenge is like a little lion that roars. No one cares, or hears, or thinks he’ll dare. 😉
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Dear Ali,
No flowers for Algernon in this story, eh? I laughed out loud at the end. Very witty and so clever.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
I’m glad my story made you laugh! You’re the second commenter to mention “Flowers for Algernon” so I’ve Googled it. Sounds like I should find a copy of that and give it a read.
Ali
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It was a lovely book and was also made into a movie. I think you would enjoy both.
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i felt sad for the mouse. what’s to come of the babies?!? perhaps their combined fear will emit ‘hyper-intelligent pan-dimensiona’ secretions and work their way into the scientists central nervous system and render them the true ‘dumbasses’… a mouse lover can dream:) perfect story!
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I’m hoping the scientists will let the mouse go. It’s obviously never going to get out on its own! Your theory is much more fun, though 🙂
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I’ve never looked at mice quite the same since reading Hitch-hiker’s Guide To The Galaxy. Who knows, that mouse may still be pan-dimensional, just not hyper-intelligent.
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True, they can’t all be super-geniuses 🙂 Maybe one of his more cerebrally-endowed mates will come and rescue him.
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Well, Ali, I think I’ve stopped laughing just enough to comment now. Your story is absolutely ‘ace’ (to quote umpteen teenagers). The whole idea of the scientists watching that dumbass mouse for three hours is brilliant! 🙂
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Yeah, three whole hours – one has to wonder who the “dumbass” really is 🙂
I’m so glad my story made you laugh.
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Poor little mouse…but very entertaining. These characters practically leapt off the page. I laughed out loud.
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I’m hoping the scientists will set mousey free 🙂
I’m glad you like my story!
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Oh the poor mouse – her pain is unbearable. Those humans have no idea what’s really going on. Wonderful story.
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They’re just viewing her as an experiment 😦
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Nasty scientists! Fancy keeping a Momma from her babies. I love what you did with the prompt 🙂
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Thanks!
They just see her as something to further their research 😦
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One in every crowd! Plus, I;m not too sure about scientist waiting three plus hours on a dumb mouse? Might be more than one dummy in the room?
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There’s a good chance the mouse is actually experimenting on the scientists, just like in Hitchhiker’s Guide!
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Just as I thought!
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Hahaha! Poor lil mouse 😦 Maybe they’ll send Speedy to the rescue.
Ellespeth
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He’ll get there in time for sure!
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