Local Indifference
Here is my story for Mondays Finish the Story, a weekly photo prompt by Barbara Beacham in which we also get an opening sentence. We get 150 words not counting the supplied sentence, in bold in my story below, which is called “Local Indifference”.
Dropping her line into Fool’s Lake, she patiently waited for something to bite. The two old men watched her as she fished.
“Only a fool fishes in Fool’s Lake,” said one.
“Aarr,” agreed the other.
Without any warning a huge creature shot out of the water, raking the woman’s belly and clamping its jaws on her head. The two men watched, shaking their heads.
“’Tis a terrible shame,” said the first.
“Aarr,” agreed the other, puffing his pipe as the woman’s headless corpse toppled forward. “‘Tis not safe, Fool’s Lake.”
The first man nodded as they watched the feeding frenzy, small piranha-like creatures tearing into the woman’s entrails as they dribbled into the water.
“Third one this week. It’s loike thar’s an endless supply o’ tourists.”
“Aarr, ‘tis a shame,” agreed the second.
Some time passed as the two puffed their pipes. Then the second man spoke again.
“Oi hear thar’s a whole bus o’ tourists due in tomorra’.”
“Oi heard that too,” agreed the first. “’Twill be a shame.”
“Aarr, a terrible shame.”
Hahaha, I think reading your flash fiction is the high light of my day. You would think someone would post a sign “No Fishing” 😆
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Where would be the fun in having a sign? 🙂 Glad you liked it (and my other flash fiction)!
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Haven’t they heard of warning signs?!
Or maybe the locals lure the tourists in so they will be sacrificed to the lake creatures? Kind of like “The Wicker Man” with fishing yields vs. crops. 🙂
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Someone needs to feed the lake creatures – better the tourists than the locals 🙂
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Too many tourists. Too little time 😀
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They’ll have a heck of a job finishing off a whole coach-load tomorrow 🙂
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Haha–nice use of repetition. Great story.
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Thanks, I’m glad you noticed that.
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I’m glad I never liked to fish. 😛
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It’s a more dangerous pastime than people realise 🙂
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Indeed so. LOL
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Very good I love the use of the vernacular, well done. Being a tourist can have its dangers.
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Especially at Fool’s Lake! I’m glad you liked it.
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And here was I just yesterday thinking I’d love to go fishing. I think I’ll stick to tiddlywinks 😀
I love the conversation between the two old codgers. I can just see them sitting watching the dumb tourists.
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Yeah, stick to tiddlywinks 🙂
I can see them too, puffing away on their pipes and commenting on the horrific goings-on.
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LOL! Good story! I won’t ever fish at Fool’s Lake again without thinking of that your story! Thank you for participating again, and see you next week! Be well…. ^..^
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I hope I haven’t spoiled your fishing trips! Glad you liked it!
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I enjoyed your story thoroughly! 🙂
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Yay 🙂
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Props for using twill as a verb. 😉
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…Ribs…
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🙂
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OMG!! That is so terrible it’s funny! I don’t mean terrible writing, I mean blood, guts, and gore. Hahaha!!!
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A little bit of dark humour 🙂
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Yes, I noticed. LOL!
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OH, oh, this was funny!
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Glad you enjoyed it!
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You come up with the most interesting takes on these prompts. This was especially gruesome.
Thanks!
DJ
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I thought it was about time I did a slightly more gruesome story!
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Gotta love local spectator sports…
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It’s more fun than participating in this case.
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Finally, DrAli is back to blood and gore. You are in fine form, awesome dialogue.
You’ve ruined some of my hiking trails with cliffs and crazy farmers. Thank goodness I don’t fish often.
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I thought it was time to get back to a bit of gore. It’s been a while!
I’m glad I haven’t spoiled another pastime for you 🙂
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Ali, you’re becoming the blood and gore man in residence. Your dark streak has struck again. Hilarious even though gory. 😀 I love your Cornwell language. You’re from there so have the right to use it. Well done once again. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Yes, it was back to the “dark” this week with a bit of dark humour thrown in!
I would be worried about using most regional accents in case I offended someone and/or messed it up but as you say I can definitely use the Cornish one 🙂
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Wow! That is a lake I never want to go near. Great way to cure tourist over-population in the summers. Enjoyed it.
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Got to keep the numbers down! I’m glad you liked it.
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Ah …… Fish feed. Just thinking – will eating those fishes make the eater cannibal (provided one of the tourists turns the table)? Loved this one.
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Urgh, that doesn’t bear thinking about! Glad you liked it.
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This is funny and gruesome all in one, and I loved it. I particularly liked the dialogue and the burr of the West-Country dialect. The two old men are great. I sincerely hope the lake filled with piranha-like fish is a figment of your imagination! Hahaha. Very enjoyable read!
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It is a figment of my imagination, yes 🙂
I’m glad you liked my two old West County codgers! Funny and gruesome was what I was going for.
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This is so funny! Their calm conversation as the woman is so horribly eaten creates a fascinating dichotomy, Well done. 🙂
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I have an image of them calmly discussing the horrific scene as they puff away on their pipes. Nothing fazes them any more!
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you are writing of far north queensland right? 😀
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Wow, sounds like a dangerous place to go fishing or swimming!
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Awesome! Who’s fishing for whom over at your Fool’s Lake? 😀 NVaughn7
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Exactly! 🙂
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Love it even though it is gross. 🙂
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I loved writing it because it’s gross heh heh 🙂
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OMC ..where did you say this lake was…MOL 😀 Pawkisses 🙂 ❤
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Don’t worry, it’s nowhere near you! You can pop your paws in the water and fish in safety 🙂
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There’s my gore fix for the day! Here I was thinking it was time for ‘The walking dead’. Put me in mind of the crazies who insist of fishing in croc infested waters of northern australia….
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You’re the second person to mention northern Australia in relation to this story. It sounds like it’s full of all sorts of dangerous creatures 🙂
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So they keep telling us. They had to put down a 60-70yrold croc cause he ate someone recently. Not a frequent occurrence but not unheard of.
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I bet this pair will entertain themselves watching the busload cast and get chewed. Great voices of indifference.
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For sure. They’ll probably bring a picnic!
I’m glad you got the indifference – that’s exactly what I was going for.
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