Clean Shot
It’s Friday Fictioneers time again hosted by Rochelle, this week featuring a photo also by Rochelle! To view the other contributions or to add your own, click on the blue froggy below.
Nothing really occurred to me this week but I’ve thrown some words together which you can find under the prompt photo.
Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Lying on the balcony, Jackson peered through the sights – he had a perfect view of the front of the house. Pulse quickening, he tried to remain calm as the door opened to reveal his target. He was holding a child.
Damn! But his mission parameters were clear – “acceptable collateral damage”.
He slowly, carefully began to squeeze the trigger.
“Jackson! Dinner!” yelled a voice from behind him.
Double damn! Jackson put his high-powered water rifle down and went inside.
“Tomorrow, you will be mine, oh yes,” he snarled as his target disappeared from view, blissfully unaware of the soaking he had so narrowly avoided.
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draliman on life 
I loved this, having engaged in water-pistol battles a-plenty. Loved that it wasn’t full of blood and death.
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I’m glad you liked it :-). With the exception of Monday’s story, I’ve been pretty death-free for many weeks. Water-pistol battles are fun!
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What a great twist, Ali! Hilarious once again. 😀 Well done. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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An unexpected twist. Better than blood and gore.
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I nearly gave in and wrote something with quite a different ending, but that would have been too obvious 🙂
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I love when your darkness breaks into sunshine, brill job 🙂
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It could have gone either way 🙂 Thanks!
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If the intended target was the Wicked Witch of the West, then this still qualifies as Dralihorror!
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That could have ended quite ickily!
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A fun story Draliman, you made me SOL…that’s snicker-out-loud, just so you know 😉
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I’m glad I made you SOL 🙂
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Loved the angle that it was a child and a water pistol. This was a fun an entertaining read.
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I’m glad you liked it. I thought a bit of childhood fun was in order this week!
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i was fooled into believing it was for real. great twist at the end.
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That was the idea, I’m glad it worked! Thanks.
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As much fun as almost falling down the stairs… all of the adrenaline, none of the pain. 😀 Great read.
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A bit of anticipation and then no-one got hurt. Glad you liked it!
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Great!! I had to read it twice to understand the soaker reference.
I am the minority in here, I love, love your blood and gore.
Good story DrAli.
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Yes, I did notice from the comments that many were happy it didn’t end in a blood bath this week!
I’m glad you liked it anyway 🙂
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Lovely story. I was truly caught up in that and the phrase ‘acceptable collateral damage’ (whilst not entirely child-like) was quite chilling. Good one.
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Thanks.
Although I didn’t actually think of the implications (from a writing point of view) of using such a grown-up phrase as that, I expect he heard it on some film he wasn’t supposed to be watching 🙂
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yes, for sure. kids repeat everything they hear.
Ellespeth
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Squeeee! Good one! ❤
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Glad you enjoyed it!
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I would have gone for the shot and ducked at my mother’s wrath.
Maybe put her off by bringing my weapon to the table, challenging her to yell at me, for being a minute late. Randy
But then again the left side of my face is flat and red from all the slaps i’ve received but that’s another FF
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Sounds like you like to take risks 🙂
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I was holding my breath then!
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And then you could let it out in relief when absolutely no-one died!
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Really refreshing story! Loved the boy’s point of view, and how he was so determined at first to even “sacrifice” a baby to achieve his mission, but when his mom yelled that the dinner was ready he just dropped it without a second thought.
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That’s the fickleness of youth for you. That plus a growing boy’s healthy appetite!
I’m glad you enjoyed my story 🙂
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Then, he went in the house and used the water gun on his mother instead.
Oh, wait. That’s what my kid would have done LOL.
Very cute story 🙂
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Hee hee! I’m sure Jackson thought about it but his stomach won out 🙂
I’m glad you liked my story!
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Ah…so you are finally getting around to the sniper!
DJ
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Yep, but not with real bullets!
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Nice twist! It seems a few people avoided trouble that day.
Great story 🙂
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It does, it could have been nasty 🙂
Glad you liked it!
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Oh, I’m so relieved it’s only water! Very funny story. This is a serious battle. I could totally imagine a water fight taking place here, too.
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There could have been mayhem and water everywhere if only it hadn’t been dinner time 🙂
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Saved by the dinner bell. 🙂
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🙂
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You caught me there.. I truly feared a more sinister plot-
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It could have been a violent end, but I’m sure that’s what all you guys were expecting after the build-up!
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Great twist – not what I was expecting at all!
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Thanks, I was hoping to lead the reader down a different path until the end 🙂
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Definitely not one of your usual endings, but it’s nice to breathe easily now and then 😀
Good one, Dman, real good 😀
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I’m glad you liked it!
It can’t be murder and mayhem all the time 🙂
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Ah, a good soaking. So much better than a bullet.
In your case, makes for a surprise ending. I like.
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Definitely way better than a bullet. Glad you liked it!
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This made me smile!! I loved the twist of the good soaking. I was completely believing it was going to be a bullet! You got me!
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It almost was going to be a bullet but I decided before writing that a soaking would be better.
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It worked out great and it was a pleasant twist to the story!!
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Thanks 🙂
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Phew…that was a relieve, Draliman. We didn’t expect this end, but clean it was..MOL… Pawkisses for a Happy Valentine’s Weekend 🙂 ❤
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Glad you liked it! Have a lovely weekend 🙂
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No mission is more important than dinner. 🙂
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Especially to a growing young lad! There’s always tomorrow for the soaking.
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Dear Ali,
What a set up! You had me literally holding my breath. Would he shoot the child? Collateral damage? Thank you for the smiles and giggles. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
I’m glad my little set up worked! Have a nice weekend 🙂
Ali
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That really took me in; so pleased it was just play. But are the minds of these kids already warped – they certainly use the language of death.
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I imagine he’s heard the terminology in a film or video game, but hopefully he’ll turn out okay.
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I love the way you build this up to infer that a real assassin is waiting to strike. The water-fight idea is great! Hilarious, as always. 🙂
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I’m glad you liked the build-up! Water fights are fun 🙂
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Adorable! I love the twist at the end. And yes, we can be very, very serious about our water gun battles.
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Jackson appears to be more serious about his dinner 🙂 Glad you liked it!
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“Collateral damage” put me in a state of dread. The twist gave me relief. Good tale.
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Don’t worry, there was no way I was going to shoot a kid. I’m glad you enjoyed the happy outcome!
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Dear Draliman, Great story and I love that it was really water pistols! So clever and talk about summer fun – you can’t get better! Awesome job! One year, our oldest son wanted a water soaker gun for his birthday. We got water guns for everyone and went to this park that has a fort built for kids to play in (really a cool fort too!). It was a blast and warm enough to enjoy! Thanks, Nan 🙂
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Dear Nan, I’m glad you liked that it wasn’t a real sniper, just a bit of summer fun. That trip to the park you mention sounds great 🙂
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oh now…this was very funny. always count on the call to dinner to break one’s concentration.
Ellespeth
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Growing boys, always thinking with their stomachs. He can always take up position again after he’s eaten 🙂
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Poor Jackson. So many distractions. Better luck for tomorrow. Great how you let on Jackson’s age with his thoughts in the last line.
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There’s a lot to do when you’re a kid 🙂 I’m sure that tomorrow will see the big water fight start in earnest.
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A happy twist, although I hope his violent tendencies don’t transform into more deadly talents as he grows older – there’s still a worrying tone to his thoughts, even if he only has a water pistol. Well told, and still a bit sinister to me.
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I also worry that one day soon the water pistol will change to something more dangerous.
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Delightful story, so glad you went this way.
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Wow. What a twist…. I was expecting this to be somekind of military type mission, and then… Very nice!
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Thanks! I like to pop a little twist in my stories when I can 🙂
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Excellent! Excellent! Excellent! I was so worried about the assassination until the last line. Then I busted myself laughing. Thank You!
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I’m glad I managed to keep you on the wrong track until the last moment 🙂
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