New Dawn
It time for Friday Fictioneers, the 100-ish word photo prompt flash fiction challenge thing hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by long-serving Fictioneerer Sandra Crook.
It’s a great photo – I’d quite like to be there in person – but weirdly my story this week is rather, well, depressing 😦
Warning – this blog has suffered a (temporary) humour-ectomy!
To read the other stories, click on the little blue froggy.
Copyright Sandra Crook
Julio sat and stared numbly at the vodka and pills. How had it come to this? He didn’t even really care any more. He felt empty inside, like a frost had worked its way into his soul.
He wasn’t sure he wanted to die. He was sure he no longer wanted to live like this – if one could call this living. He flipped the top off the pill bottle.
Through the window the rising sun illuminated the trees in shades of gold, and seeing it he felt a tiny glimmer of warmth deep inside.
Hope?
Dropping the bottle, he reached for the phone.
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Friday Fictioneers
draliman on life 
That’s a positive ending. There’s always hope.
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There is, even in the darkest hour.
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Love it – complements the picture nicely! Hope: it’s always just a stone’s throw away, if we will but see it.
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We just have to be open to the possibility that things can get better.
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Dear Drailman,
Best ending in the world. Loved his lucid interpretation of natural events. The sun always rises…hope springs eternal. Very well done.
Aloha,
Doug
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Dear Doug,
I’m glad you liked it. It took a lot of editing to get it deliver the message properly.
Ali
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I have no hope today. Good timing or just coincidence you posted this?
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Possibly coincidence, but I had read your post earlier in the day, so maybe I was subconsciously influenced?
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Maybe so. Either way, I am glad that I stumbled upon it when I did. 🙂
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🙂 I’m glad if it helped in some little way.
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It did…the timing was uncanny. I saw your post on Facebook and clicked it. So…thanks DM. 🙂
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🙂
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I’m so glad you ended it like you did. Last week a boy in our town, a young man, I should say, 28 years old put a shot gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. I can not imagine the depth of despair to make someone do that. There is so much sadness in the world sometimes it is hard to see the glimmer. thanks for showing it.
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That’s terrible, to be feeling so lost that this became an option.
I’m glad you liked my story and the hopeful ending.
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I’m sorry, I was laughing until the end; it is uncommonly depressing. But yeah, hope. Positive ending.
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Tut tut, laughing at the poor chap. I did put a warning that it was depressing at the top 🙂
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Love ❤
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Thanks 🙂
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Two lines were AWESOME!
” He felt empty inside, like a frost had worked its way into his soul.” and
He wasn’t sure he wanted to die. He was sure he no longer wanted to live like this – if one could call this living. ”
Passionately spoken and felt.
I was glad of the nicer ending!
Great job!
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Thank you! The picture said “hope”, “new start” and things of that nature to me the moment I saw it.
I’m glad you liked those two lines. I wanted to bring in the frost of the photo and as for the second line, well, “write what you know” (or “once knew” in my case), they say.
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You accomplished your task !
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I didn’t find this depressing, not at all. It’s good!
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I wanted to end on a hopeful note. It’s just a lot more depressing than the “comedy kick” I’ve been on for the past few months. I’m glad you liked it!
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I love the ending, so positive and hopeful. Hope this person works everything out for themselves!
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I think the phone call will be the start of his recovery.
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Luckily he didn’t live in England or he’d be long gone by now. A lovely optimistic vignette.
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The photo said “optimism”, “hope” and whatnot to me. It’s just the kind of scene I love.
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Good story, Ali. If not a happy ending. it was at least a hopeful ending. Well done. 🙂 — Suzanne
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I think he’ll be okay now 🙂
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You used the prompt so well in so many ways! Thanks for the hopeful ending.
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Thanks! I’m glad you liked my interpretation of the photo, and the hopeful ending. He has a long way to go but he’s making the first step.
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So pleased you gave him (and us) a glimmer of hope at the end.
Claire
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I decided I definitely wanted to end on a hopeful note, especially given the sun illuminating the trees in the photo.
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I had to laugh at Sandra’s comment because I was just thinking, the sun brought him hope, something we all need after a long cold winter. Great story with a great ending!
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His winter’s been longer than most, I think, so the sun was very welcome. I’m glad you liked it!
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a positive twist. hopefully, somebody would answer the phone.
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I’m sure someone will.
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You’ve got to let a little bit of sun in every now and again. I like your light pieces just as much as your dark ones 🙂
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You do indeed! Thanks 🙂
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Good ending if Hope still has the same phone number.
I’ve been a little short in the waiting for hope to happen category.
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I think he’s either phoning a good friend or a hotline so I reckon he’ll be okay.
I hope that hope visits you soon.
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Despair giving way to hope — instead of the other way around as it so often is. Really enjoyed this D-man 🙂
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The photo said to me that there should be “hope” at the end of my story 🙂
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I’ll never forget the day I called a suicide hotline only to wind up counseling the person on the other end. I hope it goes differently for your character, and I’ve often wondered why on earth I had that particular experience. Does it happen often? Clearly, the man I spoke with was bad at his job.
All my best,
Marie Gail
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That sounds like a weird situation. Unless it was some sort of trick to get you talking.
I’m sure my character will be fine!
Ali
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Yeah, it was weird. It pretty much backfired, but I survived, which is the good part.
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I can see why you went a little gloomy on this one. It definitely has that feel to it. I like this line “like a frost had worked its way into his soul.” I’m glad he reached for the phone. Nice work, Ali.
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I’m glad you liked that line. This story took a lot more editing than my usual stories.
I’m happy you liked my story!
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Your writing is always many dimensional and not at all depressing, in fact quite hopeful.
Is hope the opposite to despair? I think it is. Sometimes it’s hard to be a person but hope helps us keep going. ( and friends) 😀
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I think it is too. In the words of Red Dwarf (episode “Back to Reality”) – “Hope defeats despair”.
Hope and friends is all you need 🙂
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Dear Ali,
Phew! So glad he made the right decision. I had a therapist that was fond of reminding me that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I look back now and see the truth in those words.
Well written as always.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
It was close but I think he’ll be okay now. That therapist put it in a very good no-nonsense way.
I’m glad you liked it!
Ali
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Nature is always the answer! Why is it that frost has made so many people think of murder and dying this week? I think frost is beautiful! 🙂
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I think it’s beautiful too, but it was the contrast of the frost and shadow with the golden light on the trees that brought me my story 🙂
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That is a wonderful take draliman.
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Thanks yarnspinnerr! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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Love this. a positive end makes me smile…
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Me too 🙂
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Yes, just a glimpse of sun can do this. It’s amazing how it lifts the spirits. Wonderfully shown here. It rings true.
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I always feel happier on a sunny morning. I’m glad you liked my story!
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This is the best ending. I’m sure many of us have lost family, friends, or acquaintances through suicide, and I can only wish that they would have come to the conclusion ‘I do not want to live like this’ instead of ‘I do not want to live.’ Your story is full of hope and change, that’s wonderful.
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I’m glad Julio made the choice to live and reached for the phone. Many don’t.
I’m happy you liked my story and that it spoke to you in some way. Many moons ago I made the same choice as my character 🙂
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Very moving. A hopeful ending, and a great thing that he knew who to call. Whether it be a friend, organization or doctor, even when he felt most helpless, he somehow knew help was available. So many people have trouble reaching out and asking for help.
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I imagine he’s known there’s help out there for a while, but it needed him to get to this point before he’s been willing to call. He’s one of the lucky ones, I hope.
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Not so depressing…at least it ended on a ray of hope! I’m glad Julio isn’t quite ready to give up.
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He’s taken the first step.
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Good for him. As I’m sure you can tell, I like hopeful endings. Although I do like you sense of humor. ;0)
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I’m sure my sense of humour will be back soon 🙂
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Ha! I’m most positive. ;0)
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Based on your prelude, I wasn’t expecting the ending. I’m glad he found some hope! Definitely rooting for him in his dark moment.
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Now he’s made the first step I reckon he’ll be okay.
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He must have been suffering from SADD. Glad he’s reaching for help.
janet
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That’s very possible. Now he’s taken the first step.
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Your essay made me want to reach out to your character. I felt a call to action. That’s no small feat in 100 words. Well done, Tracey
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Thanks, I’m glad my story spoke to you.
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Good for you Julio.
Randy
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He’ll be okay now I think.
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Always like it when someone suicidal “sees the light” so to speak. Liked the hope at the end and also when you clarified dying vs not living like he was.:)
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Thanks, I wanted to end of a hopeful note. The feeling of being alive but not living is a terrible one.
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It’s definitely darker than most of your stories I’ve read but I like it. I love the hopeful ending. 🙂
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I’ve been on a humour kick recently for whatever reason. I still managed to pop some hope into this darker tale, though. Glad you liked it!
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Not dark, after all.
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It lightened up at the end!
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