Pioneers
It’s Friday Fictioneers time again, the weekly flash fiction challenge hosted by Rochelle over at “Addicted to Purple“. The photo this week was supplied by top fictioneerer Douglas M. MacIlroy.
To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.
Copyright Douglas M. MacIlroy
With a gust of icy wind Jared entered the shelter. His wife looked at him eagerly, anxiously, the unspoken question hanging between them. Finally Jared shook his head and looked away.
“All of them?” asked Sheera, her voice trembling. Jared looked at his wife and nodded.
“All of them.”
“So we’re the last.” It wasn’t a question. “We’re all alone.”
Little Hanna ran in and hugged her Dad. “You’re back, you’re back!” she squealed, while in the kitchenette Sheera prepared drinks, carefully mixing a generous dosage of “Martian Deathcap” into each of the three cups.
Drinking deeply, the last surviving “Red Planet Pioneers” faded quietly away.
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draliman on life 
Harsh. Very. And the little girl adds just the right touch to make the reader collapse into a maudlin heap. Well done, Draliman, but please come out of your blue funk and cheer up will you? Just sayin’ 🙂
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Thanks! It had the right effect, but maybe next week it will be time for a comedy 🙂
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No wonder we want to set up a space station on Mars…. for the awesome drinks!
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Yeah, yummy Martian Deathcap 🙂
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Never give up! Stop them from drinking and write more. Just do it.
Write on,
Tracey
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I ran out of words :-(. Maybe a rescue ship will arrive in time!
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It’s like the Martian Chronicles meets On the Beach.
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I haven’t seen either but I looked them up on IMDB and yes!
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Well, I was thinking more of the books instead of the movies, but you get the idea 🙂
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Yep!
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(I have not seen the Martian Chronicles movie, and On the Beach is ok but I prefer the book because of some of the artistic license the studio took, which is why I said that…Definitely not a movie vs book snob!)
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🙂
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And me reading “Alas Babylon.” It’s all kind of creepy and today is American Earth Day.
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I just looked it up. That sounds like a cheery book!
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If it comes to that..I prefer ‘death by chocolate’. I’m reminding myself it’s just a story and refuse to be drawn into the tradegy.
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Everyone prefers death by chocolate! It is just a story 🙂
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That’s a bit harsh for you! Nicely written.
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Thanks. Maybe next week a comedy?
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See what flows.
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True. I need to see what pops into my mind when I see the photo, coupled with what mood I’m in.
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Wow, this is heavy indeed. My type of story though!
What with the planned mission to Mars, I cannot help but think that this is the way it will end.
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That’s what I was thinking when I wrote it. Glad you liked it!
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Major bummer. But totally your style, which is why I like it.
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It is a bit of a bummer. I’m glad you liked it, though!
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what a copout. but they must have their reasons.
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I don’t think they wanted to remain there all alone. And I don’t know how all the others died. Maybe some sort of Martian plague?
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Dark, but extremely effective. Well done!
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Thanks, I’m glad the dark worked.
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Excellent work.
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Thank you 🙂
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Oh, there not going to chance survival? Sad to see the little girl go, too. Some drastic measures here, Ali. Why? I want to see them LIVE! Great story!
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Maybe the back story would explain why they felt they couldn’t go on. Something killed the others…
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I think I’d have given it a few more days. Very dark one.
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I think I would too.
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Eerie scifi take. Is there a “look after this planet” moral to this story?
Good piece.
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It is possible that they had to leave Earth because we’ve broken it, only to find Mars is fairly inhospitable too…
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the image, its color – has its meaning by itself!
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Yes! I’m wondering where it was taken.
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Oh, Ali, that was sad. It reminded me of the Nazi officer’s wife in the bunker with Hitler ( I can’t remember the name) who fed poison to all their children, and then the parents took it. I’ve made my mind up never to go to Mars. 😦 Well done. 🙂 — Suzanne
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I certainly haven’t put my name forward for the Mars mission! I hope it doesn’t end like this.
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Chilling.. so sad..I’m reminded of Jonestown a little.. to be there so far off, and having a little child as well..
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It does have undertones of Jonestown.
Lost millions of miles away and all alone…
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This is so you, but I can’t help hoping there’ll be a last minute reprieve.
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Others have wished the same thing!
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Hah, a fellow Martian. Very sad story, well told. The idea of a no-return colony like Mars One just chills me to the bone. But your characters could go over to my colony and have some fun. 🙂
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Thanks. I’ve just read your story, it does look like a Martian colony, doesn’t it?
Your colony sounds much more fun and less filled with dead people 🙂
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I hope the drink doesn’t work. I want to see them carry one. Hope! There’s gotta be hope!
🙂
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Maybe she got the dosage wrong. These Martian Deathcaps can be quite tricky 🙂
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I know… I mean… yeah, that’s what I heard.
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🙂
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Seems like the only choice to me too!
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Yeah! Lots of people are unhappy at the way it all turned out 🙂
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Well as long as this is fiction…
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Exactly. I got worried about the ending and then thought, “hang on, this is just a story” 🙂
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LOL
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Chilling! And very involving – just listen to these great comments!
Maybe you’ll write more of this.
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it. Looking at the comments the end was a bit of a shock, though. Maybe next time they’ll pack their things and strike out across the Martian desert…
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Good story. 🙂 That was a harsh decision they made. You’d think they’d try to survive even if only for their daughter’s sake.
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It was, but who knows what they’ve been through? Maybe there’s some sort of Martian disease, or some creepy goings on. I would have tried to keep going, though.
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you are a great cook Mommy! is there any more? 😀
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Yeeks 🙂
Oh no. Now I have a vision of the kiddie being immune to the poison and being there all alone with her parents’ bodies… 😦
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Dont be silly! She said that as she hit the deck! 😀
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🙂
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Well, THAT was edifying, huh? Nicely done, though. It put me there.
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I’m glad my story drew you in. Let’s hope the first Mars mission doesn’t end this way.
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Dear Ali,
I really hated to click ‘like’ on this one. Very dark, but very well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
I’ve often had that issue with the “Like” button, for example an I “liking” the fact that someone is having a hard time, or am I showing my support?
This story was very dark and a bit of a shock ending, but that’s what came into my mind at the time.
Thanks,
Ali
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Now that’s a movie!
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It could be at the very beginning – the ill-fated first colonists before the next wave arrives – or at the very (sad) end 🙂
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Who who be your choice of actors?
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Blimey, now you’re asking! If it happens at the beginning they’ll be relative unknowns. Or maybe to shock the audience they’ll be big stars killed off in the first 2 minutes! If this happens at the end, I really don’t know. I’m not good with actor names. Somewhere around early 30’s in age, so they’ve been there about 8-10 years. Betty was born there, I guess.
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“This hot cocoa tastes funny…”
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“Nonsense, drink it all up, now…”
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Hahaha!
Ellespeth
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Fantastic Draliman! Poor Martians though, feeling that was the only way out. I really enjoy your writing it never fails to pull me in 🙂
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Thanks for you lovely comment, I’m glad you enjoyed my story!
It must have been a difficult decision to make, before Jared went out to see if there were any others left. Surely they could have held on a little longer :-(.
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It was my pleasure 🙂
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Beautifully written, but so sad.
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Thanks, and yes, very sad.
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Ooh, a bit of a chiller, this week. Although the decision to end it all was harsh, it wasn’t taken lightly. Perhaps it was the best thing to do, in the circumstances. Well written, Ali.
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It was harsh but I think they discussed their options at length before Jared went out. I’m glad you liked it!
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I thoughtit was great. 🙂
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Wow, good story Ali, I especially liked the dialogue. I felt sorry for the last pioneers, it was a shame they had to die, but this is Friday Fictioneers so their chances were always going to be slim. 🙂
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Bad things happen in Friday Frictioneers sometimes 🙂
I’m glad you liked my story and dialogue.
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Very tense, and tragic. I like the juxtaposition of innocent childish talk with the more sinister adult conversation. Cleverly done.
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I’m glad that worked for you. I thought it made it all the more chilling.
Thanks!
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Oh how sad! I can see where this would happen but it’s just not fair. Life’s not fair either sometimes. But, every once in awhile, when the wind is blowing from the start, the good times come back for a visit. Nan
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It’s a tragic end – I hope if the proposed Mars mission happens it doesn’t end the same way.
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Heavy – I love it! This is exactly how it should end, not every piece should have a sugar-coated ending. It’s perfectly structured and wonderfully poignant.
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I’m glad you liked it. I agree, some stories just don’t end happily, and there could be no happy ending for this one. It would have ruined the whole “flow” of it.
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I’m glad I don’t like flying – that’ll keep me from buying a ticket to Mars. Goodness knows what he saw, but it must have been awful. What color would a Martian Deathcap be?
Ellespeth
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I’m certainly not going either 🙂
I don’t know how all the others dies, but given their decision I’m guessing there isn’t much hope for them either. I expect Martian Deathcaps are the traditional “red with white spots” 🙂
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What a sober ending! Well-told.
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Thanks. I guess they felt it was the only way.
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Heavy stuff…but written so well.
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Thanks, the ending was pretty heavy for me.
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What a sad, sad story. Guess we’re not ready for Mars yet.
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I guess not. Let’s hope the proposed one-way trip to Mars doesn’t end like this.
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So many unanswered questions…. So few words! Nicely done.
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Thanks. What did kill the others? I guess we’ll never know. And those back on Earth will always be wondering why contact was lost…
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