Literary Lion – In the Dark of the Night
This week Literary Lion has offered up the words “story in the woods” for our prompt. This challenge is hosted by Laura at “I Smith Words” and allows up to 400 words.
Here is my dark and chilling “story in the woods”! Well, okay, it’s a bit silly (again).
Copyright me
In the Dark of the Night
If you go down to the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise…
“Are you rolling, Jeff? Good. We’re here in the depths of Deacon Woods. Tonight’s a very special night. A secret gathering, we’ve heard. We’re going to try to film it. Follow me Jeff, quietly!”
If you go down to the woods today, you’d better go in disguise!
“There they are, just up ahead! No-one’s ever got this close before. This is… this is amazing! Are you getting this, Jeff? I see campfires, trestle tables, lots of tables. And snacks. Lots of snacks. Buns, honey, this is incredible! Let’s get a bit closer, Jeff. Oh, don’t be such a fraidy cat! Yes, I know we don’t look like Teddy Bears, it’ll be okay.”
For every bear that ever there was will gather there for certain, because…
“I think they’re all here. Every single last one of them! Eating, having fun, this is fantastic television! Keep filming, Jeff. There’s a Pulitzer in this! I think… wait, a couple of them are looking this way. They’ve seen us!”
…today’s the day the Teddy Bears have their picnic.
“They’re stopping their picnic, coming towards us. Jeff, we need to move, now! We need to outrun them [puff puff] they look really angry round this next bend, Jeff, we’ll hide in the trees what the hell, what was that? Throwing stars? They’re Teddy Bears for God’s sake! Keep running Jeff, oh Hell, Jeff, your leg, oh God oh God, give me the camera, I’m sorry, I’ll come back for you I think I can escape… oh no, no no no, they’re all around me, dressed all in black, this is incredible, scary, what will they do? one of the Teddy Bears is approaching me…”
“I WILL TAKE THE CAMERA, HUMAN, IF YOU PLEASE. YOUR ADVENTURE IS AT AN END. AS IS YOUR LIFE.”
“Damn you, you cute furry murderous Teddy Bear ninja bastards.”
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Friday Fictioneers
draliman on life 
Ali, I think that probably only you would think up Teddy Bear ninjas. Are they related by any chance to kung-fu pandas? Creepy.
Well done though. 🙂 — Suzanne
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I’m not sure if they’re related but I hear they all went to the same training camp 🙂
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I did not believe anyone but me remembered that song. I had it on a yellow 45 RPM recording which I played incessantly when I was 8, at least in part because the kid who sang the song was also 8 and I thought it was important to support my fellow 8-year-olds. Until this very moment, I never imagined the Teddy Bears picnic as a potential danger. Thank you for changing my point of view 🙂
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I assumed every kid still knows this song, but I guess there’s all sorts of new ones now.
You don’t want to mess with the Teddy Bears when they’re picnicking.
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Very funny, and the last line is brill. The last paragraph as a whole is a bit scary though … especially for anyone of a sensitive disposition, Hehe. 🙂
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I tried to make it quite run-on, as if he was talking into the camera and running at the same time. There’s no getting away from it, ninja teddies are pretty scary!
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Love it! This made me laugh. A lot. You should never disturb those ninja teddy bears when they’re picnicking!
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They’re pretty bad-ass at the best of times, but disturb their buns and honey and watch out 🙂
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Oops. Looks like they wandered in on the Snuggle Bear picnic instead!
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I just looked up Snuggle Bear. He looks like he could be quite mean right enough! Reminds me of Ted from that film.
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I do hope you are notified of comments even on very old posts… 😉
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Yup, I am. I think!
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That was a somewhat cryptic response to the fact that I finally replied to your year and a half old comment on this post:
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Now it makes sense! I thought you meant notifications by others on my posts, and I hadn’t had any old ones come in.
Yes, your reply to my comment has popped up in my notifications area. Funny 🙂
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Leave private parties alone! When will people learn? 😀
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Especially ninja Teddy Bear parties 🙂
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Oh! I can’t read this yet! You’ve just shown me another prompt challenge. I’m excited to try it. 400 words! That will be a real stretch for me.
I’ll pass back by to read this.
Ellespeth
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It’s a nice change to get so many words!
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I, too, had a yellow 45 of the Teddy Bear’s Picnic. Wonder what was on side B? Oh well.
I have put my teddy bears in restraints. I don’t like the look George is giving me.
Great song to turn into a scary tale. Well done.
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In restraints? Wow, that’s pretty drastic 🙂
I’m glad you liked my story!
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Thanks for the memories, too. I hadn’t thought of Teddy Bear’s Picnic in a long while.
I’ll go a little easier on my bears. 😀
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Yay 🙂
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Ha, this is fab, such a good idea! I used to love this song when I was little, but my head was stuck in fluffy cutesy bears eating jam sandwiches and cake… this is a great humorous alternative. Have you ever seen the game Naughty Bear? It’s a random playstation game I once played and this reminds me of it!
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It’s a sort of Teddy Bears Picnic and Blair Witch mashup 🙂 I like the idea of ninja Teddies.
Naughty Bear sounds like a real laugh, I’ve not heard of it before.
I’m glad you liked my story!
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Haha, you could make a film out of that mashup! It’s such a fun game to play with someone, you play as Naughty Bear, and after not being invited to the teddy bears’ party you have to sneak up on every bear in the woods and kill them with certain objects you find along the way… 😀
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Now that sounds like my kind of game 🙂
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I thought it might 😉
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Someone has an awesome quirk for dark humor…
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Dark humour is “my thing” 🙂
Probably 80% of all my stories have some in.
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I picked up on that, yes 😉.
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🙂
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I always thought that my Teddy was a peacekeeper…. It was his wisdom that kept evil at bay?
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His wisdom and his kick-ass moves. Like Jedi, really.
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Hahaha…those ninja bastard teddy bears. I’ve just rushed into the bedroom and whispered to my bear that he’s not to listen to this story!
Ellespeth
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Good idea, you don’t want him getting any ideas 🙂
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