Kidz in Luv
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Jean L. Hays.
I have attempted to recreate the language of the “youff of today”. Unfortunately I’m (ahem ahem) years too old, and when I was a kid, kids didn’t talk like this. Maybe they still don’t!
(I’ve made a reference in my story – it is said that when the apes leave the Rock of Gibraltar, so will the British, so it implies the end of something.)
To read this week’s other contributions, click on the blue froggy.
Copyright Jean L. Hays
“Yo, bitches, get gone, I need ta talk ta ma girl!”
All but one of the girls gave her a surly look and moved away.
“So, girl, wuzzup? What dis ‘bout yo man Jazz?”
“Me ‘n Jazz still good, yo. Why, what ya heard?”
“Seen, girl. Seen. I seen Jazz wiv his old squeeze, and dey look happy.”
“No way! Me ‘n Jazz is solid! Solid like da Rock o’ Gibraltar, ya dig me?”
“Da monkeys is leavin’ da Rock. You got ya head in da sand, girl.” She walked away, shaking her head. “Head in da sand.”
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Friday Fictioneers
draliman on life 
Since I’m as antiquated as most of the readers it sounds very believable to me.. There are those days when you start looking for those monkeys and find the rocks are crumbling.
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There certainly are. This girl is about to learn that lesson.
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The characters in your story sounds like real characters!
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I’m glad you found them realistic 🙂
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Love it (and I ain’t no spring chicken neither!)
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I’m glad you liked it! I’m sure young-uns would pick a few holes…
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Yeah well….let ’em! 😉
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Yo is very legit and shit.
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Fer realz? Yay!
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My head is spinning. Is this like “when hell freezes over?”
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Yup!
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Thank goodness there’s time to sign up for that ESL class in church!
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Well, these girls would certainly benefit!
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BTW, As one of my favorite blogger writer whose posts I look forward to in my reader, I’d like to nominate you for the Three-Day Quote Challenge 🙂
http://januarysdream.com/2015/07/02/bookworm-quotes-austen-dostoevsky-shakespeare/
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I just saw! I did a similar thing recently but I’m honoured that you thought of me.
I went for some contemporary ones (as I don’t know “classic” literature) – Pratchett, Yoda and Bill and Ted 🙂
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That was brave Ali, it could of gone horribly wrong… but it didn’t! Well done on the dialogue, that kind of thing terrifies me but you pulled it of nicely with a great little story. 🙂
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After I clicked “publish” I did think “this could go one of two ways…” I nearly went with one of my other ideas at the last minute (idiot planting cars or failed stunt driver).
It was somewhat experimental! I’m glad it worked for you 🙂
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This is delightfully well done.
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Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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Gahhh!! 😀
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🙂
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Sounds realistic to me. At least based on movies and television. I think you did a wonderful job!
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My “research” did consist of TV and films 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!
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A tale as old as the hills in modern vernacular: I like it.
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A tale oft told. I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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Sounds like the stuff I hear all around me. You could have had a “would of” in there to round it off, but a good piece.
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Thanks! I’m glad it struck you as realistic.
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That was fun. Clever writing.
Have you read any of August Wilson’s plays – 1920’s 30’s stuff – Afro-Americans moving to big cities from the slave states – great language.
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I haven’t read any of those, might be worth a look.
I’m glad you liked my story!
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You can come out of the sand now…it’s just me, the cat 😉 Pawkisses for a Great Day 🙂 ❤
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Phew! Thanks for the pawkisses 🙂
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Nice story.. and i like the dialogues. ya!
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I’m glad you liked it! It was tricky to write 🙂
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Dear Ali,
This sounds very American. Nicely done and grammatically incorrect.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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PS I worked with a young woman who sounded like this yo. Limited vocabulary…made me crazy.
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🙂
It would drive me mad too!
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Dear Rochelle,
I’m glad you liked it! You wouldn’t believe how many little red lines the spell checker put under the words in this one 🙂
Ali
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Err… uhm… it does sound very real to me, but I’m too old to be able to tell. It’s a great story either way.
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It’s probably how we older ones think the younger ones talk!
I’m glad you liked it!
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Good Ali. My kids didn’t speak like that but could imitate it to a tea. My husband had been taught correct English in Indian schools, and I was a teacher, so the kids didn’t hear anthing in the home but correct English. My daughter picked up some southern words like “y’all” having been raised in North Carolina, but my son spoke like he was raised in the north. The kids and I do say “Hay” instead of “Hi”, That’s from living in North Carolina. I say “M’am” from working in call centers where we were told to address a woman customer that way. It gets to be a habit. One of the operators in the long distance call center said “yo” to a customer and was told never to do it again.
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I can’t believe someone in a call centre said “yo” 🙂
I sometimes wonder if people who speak like this can actually talk properly if they put their mind to it.
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Interesting interpretation, and I can imagine the conversation, though I don’t know if that’s how they talk 🙂
Here’s me Friday Fictioneers fiction
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I’m not sure if they talk like that either 🙂
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Quite a challenge reading that, but I’m glad I took it! Yo!
Rosey Pinkerton’s blog
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It was also quite a challenge proof-reading it! I kept getting lost and having to start again 🙂
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I totally heard what she was saying.
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I’m glad! It was tough to write, let alone understand.
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Can’t tell. it seems effortless.
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Thanks 🙂
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Could you provide a translation of this story into English please? 😉
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“I say old girl, I observed your boyfriend with another man.”
“I’m afraid I don’t believe you, but thank you for letting me know!”
“Poor girl, she’s living in a fantasy world, don’t ‘cha know. Jolly hockey sticks!”
🙂
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LOL, that’s better!
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Happy to oblige!
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Pretty intelligent dude.
DJ
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🙂
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i hope she’s right for her own good. 🙂
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Me too 🙂
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Dats cray cray!
Nice dialogue, but I think listening to that for very long would drive ME cray cray!
Well done.
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Thanks! Proof-reading it drove me crazy 🙂
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Ha! So funny. It sounds believable and like authentic youth. Head in da sand makes me thinks he’s Jamaican or Rastafarian. 🙂
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That’s what I reckon. I’m glad it sounded authentic!
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Dear god but you’ve ripped apart the English language with this one. Since this was your intent, well done. Fo Shizzle!!!
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It was pretty tricky to write 🙂
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You did a good job on that “teenage talkin'” you could have thrown in a few “homies” in there too. LOL!
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I missed a trick with “homies”! Never mind 🙂
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LOL! I think you did amazing with the their way of talking.
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