Friday Fictioneers – Ready For Anything
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, the 100-ish word photo prompt hosted by Rochelle over at Addicted to Purple. The photo this week was contributed by G. L. MacMillan.
A cautionary tale from me :-). Good luck finding spelling mistakes this week – I’ve purposely misspelled almost everything!
As always, click on the blue froggy to see this week’s other contributions.
Copyright G.L. MacMillan
They say, there was these kids shootin’ bottles wi’ thur BB guns, when all sudden like, wi’ RAT-A-TAT! all them bottles ‘sploded. ‘Twere ol’ Jed, survivalist, wi’ ‘is assault rifle. Scared ‘em kids ‘alf t’ def.
Lived in one o’ them bunkers full a’ guns, n’ cans o’ beans an such. Oil gennies, water purifier, the works. World war three? Zombie ‘pocalypse? Na problem.
Then one day, they say, Jed were cleanin’ ‘is sawn-off an’ took both barrels under t’ chin.
An the moral o’ this story? All the prep’ration in t’ world ain’t na use if you’ve na common sense. Yer brains’ll still end up on t’ ceilin’.
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Friday Fictioneers
draliman on life 
Hi I’m Shreya!
Love the post. You have great content on your blog. Looking forward to reading more of your posts.
I am relatively new to the blogging forum so please feel free to visit my blog and leave some feedback if you even find the time.
Enjoy your summer.
Smiles,
Shreya xx
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Hi, thanks! I’ll see and pop by 🙂
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Yup. Brains on the ceiling. An appropriate finish for the old guy.
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He who lives by the gun, dies by the gun.
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Maybe you should tell my brother-in-law.
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Poor fellow should have known better.
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He certainly should have. Clumsy and careless. But very well prepared!
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Shucks, ya’l writes a good tale.
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Gee willikers, thank-ee ma’am 🙂
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Ouch. Great moral, though. There’s a lot of Jeds around, they say.
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I think there are plenty of Jeds around, yes! Let’s hope most of them are a bit more careful.
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Hahaha good one 🙂
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Thanks 🙂
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Love this – great job!
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Glad you liked it!
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Reblogged this on William Chasterson.
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Thanks for the reblog!
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‘ain’t tat t’ truth ! (I tried to respond in this dialect and it’s not easy. Great story and the narrator’s and narrated one’s characters seep through very well.
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I had to keep reading it out to myself to make sure it sounded right (or correctly wrong!).
I’m glad you saw their characters come through 🙂
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Good voice. Guess he got his come upin’s.
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I guess it’s that “familiarity breeds contempt” thing. The one time he doesn’t check to see it’s unloaded first.
Glad you liked it!
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My goodness, that must have been a task to write out!
I guess, in his case, what goes round must come back round.
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It was a bit tricky with all the apostrophes and making sure it sounded okay!
He won’t be frightening any more kiddies by “discharging a weapon in a public place” anyway.
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That was so horrible it made me LOL.
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I laughed at the end too and then felt a bit bad about it. Poor Jed 🙂
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Poor Jed…lol…oops, did it again 🙂
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🙂
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Great work, Ali. Dialects are hard to pull off, but you’ve done a good job putting together a story that is actually driven by the dialect.
All my best,
MG
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Thanks! I was just going to write it as a straight narrative but quickly realised it would work better in dialect. I’m glad it worked for you!
Ali
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You can’t prepare for stupid.
Nice work.
KT
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Very true.
Thanks!
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Tha’s done a reet fine Lancashire accent there. 🙂 Made me smile.
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Thanks, I’m glad it came through okay 🙂
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Love this! Very well done.
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Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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HaHaHaHa! and ewww!!! 😀 (loved it)
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Blam! 🙂
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Hahaha what logic.
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If it’s logical, it must be true 🙂
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Always wondered about that old stain on’t ceilin. Bet your spell checker exploded too!
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Now I bet you wish you didn’t know. It’s Jed!
Yep, both MS Word and Google Chrome’s spell checkers lit up like Christmas trees 🙂
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Great work on that dialect, spot on.
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Thanks, I’m glad it worked!
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Great use of dialect! And I agree–we’re all going to die, so what are these survivalists stocking up for?
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All that preparing to survive ain’t no fun if you’re all alone. Probably meant to spread his brains on the ceiling. Your voice was right on – well done!
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Dear Draliman – First thing before cleaning your rifle, make sure no ammunition is in the chamber! Good story! Nan
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Dear Nan, Forgetting something like that can be a very big deal, poor Jed. Glad you liked it !
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Fabulous… I kin ‘most hear th’ banjoes…
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I’m glad you liked the dialect!
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Very funny! Probably good place for his brains to be. Haha!
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Yuck 🙂
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Somehow, I don’t think ol’ Jed will be missed by anyone….
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He did seem a little “off”.
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Dear Ali,
There’s a saying that’s one of my all time favorites. “If sense was common, we’d all have some.” Apparently Jed was one who din’t. Good ‘un.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
I like that! Jed was certainly lacking in the common/good sense department.
Ali
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Yeah? And who do ya thing will clean the ceiling? Not Ma!
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Not ma either! Sounds like a yucky job 🙂
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;0)
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Oh dear, that was a challenging read for me, didn’t prevent me from chuckling my way through to the horribly funny end. Jed has just won the Darwin award.
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It was also hard to right, trying to get the apostrophes in the right place! I did think it might be hard to read, especially for those whose first language isn’t English. I’m glad you persevered, though!
It’s a shame no-one who wins a Darwin Award ever knows how famous they just became!
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I read this out loud and it sounded brilliant (and I can’t do accents)! Your writing gets better and better.
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Thank you for your lovely comment!
It does need to be read out loud for the “full effect”, I think 🙂
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Cleaning a loaded gun is incredibly stupid: almost Darwin Awards standard.
Good piece.
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He might get one if anyone ever bothers to nominate him 🙂
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Love the dialect…not sure where it’s from. mind. Is that ‘ow yer talk down in Cornwall? Methinks Jed’s a bit short of a few little grey cells – or perhaps he just needs to ask Santa for a good dollop of common sense next Christmas. 🙂
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I’m not exactly sure where it comes from. Cornwall, “up north” or even the wilds of the US.
Jed’s short of all his grey cells now that they’re splattered all over the ceiling 🙂
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Quite impressive. Your fiction reminds me of a Humorous post i wrote inspired by language of people in the Drug Trade business:
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The dialect is great! Seems like common sense is often in short supply.
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Not as “common” as the name would suggest 🙂
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Great story. I loved the dialect. That took some work. 🙂
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Thanks. Yes, I had a lot of fun getting the apostrophes right and making sure it sounded correct out loud.
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