Friday Fictioneers – Dead End Street
Here is my story for Fridy Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. The photo was contributed by David Stewart.
This week I went for “gritty reality”. It’s a bit clunky but it’s good to try something other than “humorous dialogue” once in a while.
To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.
Copyright David Stewart
Rusted cars line the curb-side, burnt-out shells long abandoned. A starving tabby scrabbles for morsels in the long grass, forgotten by apathetic owners. Half-dressed women stand on the corner promising excitement with dead eyes while their watchers, dressed in leather and gold, control their next fix, their lives. A young man staggers against an ageing fence, his pockmarked face and spider-veined arms mute testimony to his addiction, the infection in his lungs only hastening his demise.
People look but don’t see.
People hear but don’t listen.
People speak but say nothing.
This is life on Dead End Street.
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Friday Fictioneers
draliman on life 
What a grim picture of dead-end street. Your descriptions brings out the horrors. Nicely done.
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Thanks! Not a place I’d like to visit, but you’ll find one everywhere.
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Dear Ali,
Not a very cheerful story. Your vivid descriptions bring the dead end to life in all of its grim detail. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Thanks! Fortunately I’ve never experienced anywhere quite so grim.
Ali
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You draw a disturbing picture here. Very powerful images and feelings. I love how you’ve depicted the characters on the street in their sordid lives.
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I tried to imagine all the different characters who could be hanging around. I’m glad you liked it!
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Every city has a dead end street. A sad but all too common situation.
Rosey Pinkerton’s blog
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Very true. Many more than one.
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Very powerful. The cat really stuck out for me — if even the cats are starving, that’s a bad street.
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Yes, cats are survivors. Maybe it’s time for him to move on.
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it couldn’t be written any better. great piece of writing.
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Thanks very much!
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THIS is the story I wanted to write, I just couldn’t find the words, until now.
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It took a lot of rewrites, my longest story time-wise for quite a while. I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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It took me all day to come up with something. My mind was telling me something such as you wrote but the words would not come, to me. They came to you though!
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Quite a few people saw something somewhat foreboding in this week’s picture.
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I figured there would be lots of murders and dumped bodies. I wanted to stay away from that.
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Holy Shit, why?
Are you ok?
I’ll take a dose of vengeance, gore and any old sadist please.
Good description, to bad I read this at bedtime.
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Not exactly bedtime reading, sorry about that. But it’s nice to try writing something different once in a while!
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I was trying in a humorous way to compliment you. I’m not the writer.
I did not want to say great story because of its content.
I am sorry.
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It’s okay, I got what you were saying. I also always wonder if I should say “great story” when the content is rather grim 🙂
I’m sure humour will be resumed soon – it takes quite a lot of effort for me to do descriptive writing!
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This is one of the best pieces you’ve written, Ali. Excellent. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it! It’s good to throw in a “no dark humour or indeed any humour at all” story once in a while 🙂
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That’s a masterpiece, Draliman! I’m going to look for that Tabby now… Pawkisses 🙂 ❤
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Thanks! I bet you’ll find him/her and pull them to safety 🙂
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It is really a dead end street, living dead.
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I’m guessing many of the inhabitants are zombies in all but the most rigid definition.
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Brilliantly written D-Man!
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
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Your description of tis piece as gritty reality is spot on. When we sit in our cosy homes we can so easily forget there’s another all too sinister world beyond our closed curtains.
Visit Keith’s Ramblings!
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Sometimes just round the corner, just a couple of minutes walk. It makes us feel safer to forget it’s there.
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Really like this one a lot. I always enjoy your humor, but this is most dark and excellent!
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It’s rare I write something that doesn’t even have dark humour. I’m glad you liked it!
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Man, that was totally, terribly gritty — and a very believable fictional reality! This sentence was … exquisite is not the word, because it’s not pretty, but perfectly described: “Half-dressed women stand on the corner promising excitement with dead eyes while their watchers, dressed in leather and gold, control their next fix, their lives.”
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That’s one of the sentences I spent ages rewriting 🙂 I’m glad you liked my departure from my “norm”, and thanks for such a lovely comment.
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That was a killer departure from your norm. Excellent description.
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I’m glad you liked it! When I saw the photo I thought it called for something different this week.
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Brilliant portrayal of death way before burial. Non judgemental, objective view but it evoked compassion. I found the cat brought out my sympathies with the people (and the cat)
Anipals have a way of stirring our humanity. 😀
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I was hoping the little cat would do just that. I’m glad you liked my description of this grim place.
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You can find that street in most every city, sadly. Great descriptive work, you captured it perfectly!
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Yes, pretty much everywhere, sometimes right round the corner from some of the most affluent areas. I’m glad you liked my description of this grim reality.
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Enjoyed the description. Didn’t like the content, but that’s another side of life – and a sad one. Randy
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I’m glad you liked the description – I doubt anyone enjoyed the content.
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Society’s underbelly is the only true measure of morality.
Good piece.
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Very true.
Glad you liked it!
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Well done. You took us to another world that most choose to ignore. In reality the only hope for the addicts are if we embrace them and help them reform human connections.
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Thanks. Yes, most people would prefer to pretend that areas like this don’t exist.
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A very moody piece. You have captured the environment very well, and I like the rhythms at story’s end.
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Thanks, it was the first thing that came to me when I saw the photo. I’m glad you liked it!
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There is a scripture in the Bible that perfectly matches this. Matthew 25:31-36
Not good to ignore the poor.
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True – I just had a read of that passage.
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Dear Draliman,
Holy crap was that grim, but very well written so you did what good writers do. You moved me and impressed me and made me vow never to visit Dead End Street. Wish me luck.
Aloha,
Doug
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Dear Doug,
I’m glad it spoke to you. That’s a place none of us want to visit I think. Good luck never making it there!
Ali
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A sad reality for far too many “invisibles.” Well done!
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That’s a good name for them – “invisibles”.
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I’m afraid there are too many places like this in our world. A deft if depressing portrait.
janet
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As many have mentioned in the comments, there’s at least one place like this in every city.
Ali
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Your serious pieces are equally as engaging as your humourous ones, great piece of writing 🙂
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it! The serious pieces take a lot longer to write, though 🙂
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Let’s hope there’s a cul-de-sac at the end of the street and some of these folks get the help they need to turn around and go the other way.
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I hope so too. Some people do escape (I know some of them).
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Very bleak and power descriptions, Ali. The last four lines are my favorite and really stamp out a solid statement and end to your story. It’s definitely a dead end if I ever saw one.
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I’m glad you liked the story, though the content is somewhat bleak. Yes, definitely a dead end.
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It is either dystopian after the world has ended, or downtown of any large city … or a good start to a rock n’ roll song. People do escape. Many people, actually. Much of escape has to do with family culture and ambition … and being smart enough to get a good education 🙂 Good piece!!!
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I didn’t even think “dystopia” when I wrote this (makes a change!). Glad you liked it!
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Ali, this certainly brings to light a life that none of us want to think about or even acknowledge as being a reality for many. Excellent story.
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Thanks. Very true, Caerlynn used an apt term for them – “invisibles”.
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That is a good term for them.
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You have conjured many powerful images in such a short piece of fiction.
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Thanks, it took a lot of rewriting to get it all in and sounding okay.
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As you say, a very gritty piece. Well done.
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Thanks!
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Magnificent use of your gritty description. Nicely done!
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Thanks!
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Vivid descriptions of a sad, but true, way of life – and of our society as a whole.
Ellespeth
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Thanks, I’m glad it felt true-to-life. It is very sad that there are places like this.
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