FF – The Day Brian Killed the World
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, the weekly 100 word flash fiction challenge headed up by Rochelle over at Addicted to Purple. This week’s photo comes courtesy of Connie Gayer, or Mrs Russell:-).
I could have done with another 50 words for this one, but them’s the breaks. Hopefully I haven’t stripped out too much. And I thought this was a pipe rather than a wire at first glance.
To read this week’s other stories, click the blue froggy.
Copyright Connie Gayer
“What’s that?” asked Brian.
“Dunno. Some pipe. There’s a sign. What’s it say?”
“No idea.” Brian tugged at the pipe until one end came free. With a sound reminiscent of air escaping a balloon, Earth deflated to the size of a marble. Trees, cars and dead people floated off into space.
“WHAT A MESS!” boomed a voice from the darkness. “I’M NOT CLEANING THIS UP. WHO’S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS PLANET?” The Angelic Host appeared. One of their number raised a wing.
“Me,” he mumbled. “But, but, I left a sign. Look!”
Emergency Planet Release Valve
Authorised Angelic Personnel Only
DO NOT TOUCH!
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Friday Fictioneers
draliman on life 
That’s a very large “OOPS!” Sorry about that 😀
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People will muck about with things 🙂
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Hehehe … wish we had such warning signs at least some people would be stopped. The face of a puzzled angel was fun to imagine
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Unfortunately when some people see a warning sign they want to know will happen if they ignore it…
Angels don’t get puzzled very often, so I expect that expression was a new one on the Host 🙂
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Amusing version of the Life of Brian!
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Ha, yes! True story – there’s still a town in England where The Life of Brian is banned for public showing due to its blasphemous nature (I assume) :-). I think it’s Bournemouth.
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Pathetic. So much for freedom.
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Yeah. And so long afterwards as well.
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too bad. it must be that brian couldn’t read. 😦
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Or at least he can’t read “ancient Angel” 🙂
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Haha! I love it. Signs really just don’t work as well as they ought to. You really gave me a laugh. Nice one!
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There are so many signs these days a lot of them get ignored…
I’m glad you liked it!
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Signs are only good if you can see them… This got a good chuckle from me.
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After all these years I expect it was covered with mud and all faded 🙂
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LOLmost entertaining. 👼
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Glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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I’ll bet the lawyers would be all over the gross negligence on the part of the angels to properly warn of the dangers of pulling that pipe were they not all floating in space right now…
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Yeah! Where were the backup systems? The abort procedures? Why was the sign written in Angel?
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I think we’re doomed if that valve is where I am. Cables, pipes, whatever are regularly whacked by day workers who are just told “Dig.” Also, if it’s made of metal, it’s fair game. Metal is worth money. Hilarious, Ali. Well done. 😀 — Suzanne
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I was originally going to write that Brian had reached “the most inaccessible point on Earth” when he found the valve but ran out of words. So I think we’re safe 🙂
I’m glad you liked it!
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Very funny! I loved the image of an angel raising a wing, accepting responsibility. Well done for a zany take on the prompt that had my mental image processing faculties working at full tilt.
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I’m glad you liked it! It’s strange where my brain takes me sometimes… 🙂
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Act first and read signs later, that’s my motto. And all this time I thought only politicians were filled with hot air. I wish I could find their release valves.
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Hah, that would be fun, let some of their hot air out!
Signs just get in the way of a good time. They’re always warning against or prohibiting something or other.
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Dear Ali,
I was the sign maker for a local grocery chain and I’m here to tell you that people don’t read them. Way to go, Brian. BTW I hear Look on the Bright Side without thinking of Life of Brian. LOL Jehovah!
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Signs are everywhere – we can’t possibly read them all! Especially if they were written a billion years ago and penned in “Ancient Angel” 🙂
Ali
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Oh, I just love this write! I’m going to have to share this one with my Pastor. We’re studying Revelations this week. He’ll have a cow! (not literally, just slang). He’ll love it! Thanks for sharing it,
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I did worry just a little bit before clicking “publish” that I was being a bit blasphemous 🙂
I’m glad you enjoyed it! (I’m familiar with the term “have a cow” – I think I picked it up off “The Simpsons” – thanks, Bart!)
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ha ha, love it 🙂
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I’m glad 🙂
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ha ha. This is a very imaginative take on the prompt. I like the image of the Angel lifting up his wing. Nicely done 🙂
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Thanks! I had to cut a lot out but I was determined to keep the angel and his raised wing in 🙂
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Loved this! Irreverently silly rather than offensive I’d say.
My dad’s name is/was Brian and during his funeral there was indeed the line ‘We are gathered here to celebrate the life of Brian.’ I did almost guffaw in a very unseemly fashion – there’s something about funerals. Don’t think he would have minded.
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I’m glad – “irreverently silly” works for me.
Probably best that you internalised the guffaw 🙂
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I love the apologetic Angelic Host and the feeble excuse of leaving a sign. But boys will be boys, especially illiterate ones, like Brian. That tube was just asking to be pulled. The image of the deflating earth is excellent!
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Who can resist tugging on a random tube?! I think that angel is in line for a severe ticking off 🙂
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Shoddy workmanship, for sure. 🙂 That angel needs to learn the importance of a neatly finished off product.
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Ah, cool, CeAyr beat me to it. This is a different Life of Brian (though, of the Pythons’ movies, I’d have to say it’s more “Brazil”-esque than anything!) than what we’re used to! Anyway, I love it, Dr Ali. So clever! I hope you will be compiling these (FF or other flashes) in ebook/book form.
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I’m glad you enjoyed it!
I do always have in the back of my mind a little compilation, either using stories which don’t require photos (like this one) or with my own relevant photos.
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Your sense of humor is wonderful. I loved you story. 🙂
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Thanks 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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Oh I guess that there is reason why we should learn to read then.
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Yep, just think of all the unpleasantness which could have been avoided.
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Oh! This is funny. Thanks for the afternoon laugh. I love – Earth deflated to the size of a marble. Trees, cars and dead people floated off into space. What a vision!
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I’m glad it made you laugh! It does conjure some funny images 🙂
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P.S. Does that make me oddly morbid? Anyway, well done.
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No. I laughed too 🙂 Or maybe we’re both oddly morbid…
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Heeehehehe. I add an old-fashioned ROFLMAO. Too bad that you can’t have sound in space. Brilliant take.
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Hee, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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Very funny, and my favorite story this week!
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Thanks very much! I’m happy you liked it 🙂
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Very imaginative take, Ali. It’s a non-explosive end to Earth, a kind of fizzle. Great story!
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Yeah, it just sort of faded gently away. I’m glad you liked my story!
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What a great idea!!!!! Well done!
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Thanks!
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Loved the title and the story that followed. I don’t think you needed another 50 words – this says all it needs to. Trust Brian.
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it! I guess when I wrote it in my head I had some extra stuff which I was disappointed to have to leave out 🙂
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Yup, I agree, these words told the story well.
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Thanks, I’m glad it didn’t need all those extra words after all.
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Bravo. Bravo.
What a great story. Somebody had to pull the plug even if it was inadvertent.
Thanks for the great twist and laugh – or twisted laugh.
Randy
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You’re welcome for the twisted laugh 🙂
Sooner or later a plug will be pulled or a button pushed…
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You made me smile for the first time this morning! Thank you, loved it!
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I’m glad it made you smile 🙂
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you always make me laugh…. big thank yous!
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You’re welcome :-). I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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