FF – First Contact
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle. Today’s photo was contributed by C.E. Ayr.
I saw a spaceship. Did anyone else see a spaceship?
To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.
The cooling stardrive glowed bright blue as the Zorkan mothership descended to Earth. It dropped majestically, nestling at last next to the river, a stream of blood flowing from its underbelly as some 120 people were inadvertently crushed beneath. A blisteringly loud voice boomed a message of hope…
“We come in peace!”
… rupturing 940 eardrums and resulting in seven million broken windows and 320 fatal car accidents.
Realising the harm it had caused the ship departed, its flaming take-off rockets accidentally incinerating 9,325 citizens. Most horrifying of all were the pamphlets they dropped upon leaving:
“Sorry about that. We’ll be back :-).”
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draliman on life 
Haha, love the last line and I don’t think anyone will read those flyers. 😀
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I like this! The way you increase the casualty list at every step of the way works really well.
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Thanks! I feel a bit sorry for the poor peaceful aliens. They only wanted to say hi 🙂
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So much for intelligent life forms! Very funny. 🙂
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Guess they’re just like us really. Mistakes happen! I’m glad you liked it!
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This is why our space probes have never found life on other planets…. we managed to kill it all in the landing process.
I can totally see this happening to a certain possum as well…
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If only our probes had sent back some photos before the carnage.
I’m afraid Buster was at ground zero during this story 😦
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Next comes the Vogon constructor fleet and the poetry chair?
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I quick dose of Vogon poetry will have the citizens of Earth begging for demolition!
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Very funny 😉
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Thanks, glad you liked it!
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Hahaha! Boy, that was a major fail on their part. Wonderful story! I loved it. 😀
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Yes, they definitely should have looked where they were going! I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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Oh my. Sorry just doesn’t seem to cut it in this instance. lol
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No, but it’s probably for the best that they didn’t try to fix things. Who knows what could have happened!
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The government will tell everyone is was a mass hallucination caused by weather balloons.
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It was, wasn’t it? That’s what the paper said this morning…
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They must have stolen that ship to make such a hash of landing it. Liked your sci fi vision.
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Certainly they never read the manual. I’m glad you liked it!
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This is horrifying! Why do I want to laugh? Hahahahaha!
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Fortunately since it’s just a story it’s okay to laugh 🙂
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Okay! LOL!
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I did indeed see a spaceship. This is the Independence Day sequel we deserve! Fantastic as always. 😀
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Thanks! I can’t believe this isn’t a film already. “Independence Day II – The Accidental Invasion”.
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Yeah, it would be great. I am not sure what to make of the sequel we are getting this year… hopefully good?
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Oh yeah, I forgot about that! Fingers crossed…
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“the road to hell is paved with good intentions!”
Imagine the havoc they would have caused if they hadn’t come in peace?
LOL! I will be smiling at this all day. 😀
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If they’d actually attacked I doubt they could have done any more damage! I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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LOL!
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Seriously… why would all spaceships land in the middle of nowhere? Why wouldn’t they plop down without looking where they’re landing?
This was hilarious, Alistair!
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Yeah, all these aliens have missed a trick. By the time they’ve trekked from the middle of the corn field and found “civilisation” they’re too tired and fed up to make contact.
I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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Hahahah…. Too good Ali… You had me in splits!
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Yay, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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Hilarious!!! Hahahaha! I love your dark humor, Ali. Those aliens are innocently disastrous, I guess. Great story. XD
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Everyone always assumes aliens know exactly what they’re doing, but in reality they’re just bumbling through life like the rest of us 🙂
I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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hahahah.. So funny.. the whole story.. and the last line.. ‘Sorry, will be back’ too good.
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Thanks! I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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Incompetent aliens. Love it
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I reckon incompetent aliens is more true to life. Surely humans can’t be the only incompetent life forms in the universe 🙂
I’m glad you liked it!
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Haha, that last line! I really enjoyed this story! 🙂
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I’m glad you liked it! I bet everyone can’t wait for them to come back 🙂
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Hilarious story, Ali! I love your incompetent aliens. 🙂 They really need to be more careful when they return!
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Hopefully next time they’ll use an amphibious craft and land somewhere off the coast. I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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Talk about collateral damage. No one will be glad to see them come back. I thought it looked like both a flying saucer and a restaurant so combined the two. Dark but hilarious, Ali. 😀 — Suzanne
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With any luck it will be a long time while they rethink their landing strategy 🙂
I just read your story – fun!
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It’s not often that I chuckle so long and heartily over a stream of blood coming out from under a spaceship. This is hilarious. Next time they come with an upgraded space ship, one that has parking cameras. 😉
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Now I have an image of them staring at the camera and peering out the windows yelling instructions to the pilot as the ship jinks around left and right, up and down 🙂
I’m glad you liked it!
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Oh dear!
Very silly lot, enjoyed this very much.
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They are pretty inept! I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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Ha ha. not a particularly good ‘first contact’, I’d say. If the ‘aliens’ come in peace, perhaps they should try landing in the middle of Antarctica next time (or the Sahara if they’re heat-loving beings). Excellent story!
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But… there are very few people in Antarctica and the Sahara and they just wanted to make lots of new friends 🙂
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Yes, I see that… Well then, they’ll just have to find a safer mode of transport – preferably one with a well tested ‘touch down’ mechanism that doesn’t annihilate the entire population. I’m sure they’re clever enough to do that. 🙂
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We can only hope 🙂
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Love this! I don’t know who to feel sorry for the aliens or the humans?
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I feel sorry for the aliens. The poor guys were only trying to be friendly 🙂
I’m glad you liked it!
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Giving us much what we probably deserve. Grim humor, I loved this.
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Maybe it’s the kick in the behind we all need. I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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sometimes good intentions go bad. at least, they said they’re sorry. 🙂
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Yes, at least they’re polite! I hope we don’t nuke them when they come back.
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LOL D-Man at his very best. Love this 🙂
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
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you have put fear in us, fear of the aliens
http://obliqview.blogspot.in/2016/05/the-game-prompt-ceayr-thats-our-world.html
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Fear the aliens, for they are incompetent 🙂
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A great take on the prompt… Very different from the usual idea which comes to the mind on reading ‘spaceship’
Well done !
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Thanks! Not all aliens come to invade (though there was little difference to the death toll in this case!).
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Well, invasion was not my first thought..it could have been anything really, except this story. What I liked was how the overlooked or rather insignificant part of landing formed a central part of the tale. 🙂
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I’ve noticed on TV that when there’s an alien spaceship arriving there’s never any collateral damage from the actual landing!
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Indeed. People running away, yes. Loss of lives, no.
Well observed and incorporated 🙂
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ha ha. This is too funny. The irony of the whole situation – each description of an innocent alien act causing destruction- too good!
Killer last line. Good intentions sometimes have unintended consequences.
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I’m glad you liked it 🙂
Those aliens did have the best of intentions, but their delivery could use some work!
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I’m sure their intentions were good, but, uhm, yeah, perhaps the execution was a little off…
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Yeah, just a bit 🙂
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I saw the spaceship as well. However, the one person who says he believed in them, thought the phone call announcing their arrival was a joke.
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Isn’t that always the way? 🙂
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It’s just like the “call me if you need something” offer. They won’t answer when you call.😉
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I did like the we come in peace part
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Maybe it should have been “We come in incompetence”!
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Whoa, did I miss that this was us visiting another civilization? I could somehow see a reality show about us visiting another world and the staging going bad….I mean the reality stars would have to face a sudden turn in the plot.
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I was thinking aliens visiting us, but if it were us visiting aliens the sheer incompetence would make sense 🙂
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If the US government had a secret program to develop it….yes it would. 😎
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🙂
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Oh, dear, too bad we don’t have a way to tell them to just stay home!
I love that their homeland is Zork! That’s the name of a vintage computer game that Sheldon likes to play on “The Big Bang Theory.” (Do you get that TV show on your side of the pond?)
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Sadly our communication systems are incompatible!
I hadn’t made that connection though I’ve seen many series of the Big Bang Theory. We get most American TV programmes here, and usually on one of the terrestrial channels before it hits DVD/Netflix/Amazon streaming.
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Cute story. Glad to know the aliens have best intentions.
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Yeah, it’s the thought that counts!
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MOL 😀 I wonder where they came from… 😀 Pawkisses for a Blessed Pentecost Weekend 🙂 ❤
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I don’t know but hopefully they’re on their way back there to make some better plans for the next time 🙂
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Oh ho ho!
Irony to the core!
What a great example of an oxymoron!
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Yes, imagine being so intelligent but not having the sense they were born with!
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I believe they are an accident that found a place to happen. With peace like that….consider what enemies would be like!
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That’s a good way to describe them!
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Well, at least they had good intentions! You can’t fault them for that. I did see a spaceship. Such a funny story, Ali.
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Yes, they’re a friendly though inept bunch 🙂
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Dear Ali,
At least they apologized. Sometimes those aliens can be so insensitive. I hope that when they come back they’ll send a warning note first. Once more your warped storytelling has given me something to laugh about. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Yes, they’re very polite if nothing else. I like that – “warped storytelling” 🙂
Ali
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Hilarious. This is such a clever story. I hope we’re ready for them when they come back – maybe a few well placed missiles would be in order.
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But… they’re friendly! They didn’t mean to accidentally slaughter half a city 🙂
Maybe if we built them a landing pad way out in the desert…
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😁😂😅😄 You are such a creative silly writer.
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Hee, I am 🙂
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Excellent story! Are you channeling Douglas Adams or Sir Terry Pratchett? Or both. Or neither. Or maybe you were their creative conduit, back in the day? 🙂
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Probably both! I started trying to write a novel (I’ve managed a page and a half in 6 months heh heh) and it’s very both of them 🙂
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Just sit down and let the eggs burn — and write! No gaming! 😉
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No gaming? Waaaaa 😦
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Unless you write a gaming-based novel or nonfiction manual . . .
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I was laughing out loud when I read this! You are a master of satire and of the tongue-in-cheek story. Brilliant story!
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Thanks for such a lovely comment! I’m glad it made you laugh 🙂
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The pleasure is mine! 🙂
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I had not thought of the damage a UFO might cause if it were big enough and landed in the wrong spot. Very nice story.
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This is often glossed over in the films – it’s all about aliens attacking. No-one ever considers the sheer size and weight of a spaceship landing in the middle of a town 🙂
I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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It is sad to know that even invading peacekeepers will bring death as they pronounce peace. Loved your take on the prompt!!
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I only hope we can forgive them and that they’re a bit more careful next trip!
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Oops! 🙂 I feel like that’s what would happen were we to finally discover another planet with life on it.
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