FF – Grid of Doom
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Roger Bultot.
To read the other stories, click on the blue froggy.
Copyright Roger Bultot
“That’s some security.”
“Keep running!”
“It’s just like in ‘Resident Evil’.”
“Which didn’t end well. Keep running!”
The men burst through the door and fell, gasping. Behind them the laser grid flickered out, having chased them down the (now sliced and diced) stairway.
“Talk about your lethal response. Anyone would think they had the crown jewels in there!” said one.
“They did.” The other opened the bag to reveal crowns, necklaces and other bejewelled goodies.
“Awesome! Good job they didn’t have a backup system.”
Neither man noticed the ticking emanating from a suspiciously large sceptre at the bottom of the bag…
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draliman on life 
A ticking sceptre, eh? Perhaps a political allegory to be found here? Great story!
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Ha, yes! Glad you liked it 🙂
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I read a tickling sceptre first and that made me giggle hard (that would be more efficient and less messy way to capture the thieves though)
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That would have been fun!
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They let down their guard far too quickly. Good one, Ali!
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Just what the security team was hoping 🙂
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Oops! Not enough planning perhaps?
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They should have known about all security arrangements before going in 🙂
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Yay! It’s been a long day and I was hoping you’d written something funny this week. Now I can unwind!
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Yay 🙂
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Somehow I don’t think things are going to end well! Great story, Ali.
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It’s kablooie time 🙂
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Ha, great last line. A shame it won’t end well for them. Great take on the prompt.
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Thanks! Their days are sadly numbered (zero).
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best laid plans….
Randy
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And this wasn’t even a best laid plan 🙂
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Oh dear, all those lovely crowns and things blown to bits! Not enough reconnaissance gets them every time 😉
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Yeah, seems a shame for all the jewels to get blown up 🙂
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A technologically advanced, state of the art, futuristic laser defense system… and then they use something as crude as a ticking time bomb as a fallback option for thieves? How terribly unclever of the security staff. I think a scene like in Raiders of the Lost Ark when they opened the bag would have been more fitting…
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But after the laser grid, who’d be expecting that…
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I want a bomb made by acme. One of the round black ones with the fuse. And roadrunner, going beep beep!
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With “bomb” or “TNT” written on it.
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Heh. Love the thieves getting past the hi-tech to be taken down by the contingency plan. Great story!
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They’ll probably be keeping an eye out for miniaturised drone bots when the ticking stops…
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Thats not like in the movies.. they should get to enjoy the loot.
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They’ll get to enjoy the loot for another few minutes 🙂
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Uh-oh, that doesn’t sound good. Great tension. Good writing, Ali. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Not good at all 🙂
I’m glad you liked it!
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Hahaha! YES! I love it! Suspense, action-packed, gonna go out with a bang.
Five out of five Hopeless Diamonds.
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It’s got everything!
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If one of them was silly enough not to know the jewels where in there, I am not surprised they missed the device.
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Not the sharpest tools in the box, are (were) they? 🙂
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I guess not.
🙂
🙂
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Tsk, that’s where greed and bad planning gets you. A great read, I love it.
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Greed, bad planning and lack of observational skills. I’m glad you liked it!
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Natural selection in play.
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The gene pool is now better off.
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They thought it was safe to let their guard down, even for a second! 😀
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“Look at me, I’m the king of Engla…” BLAM 🙂
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Great last line, another plan that didn’t quite work out. Loved it
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I guess it’ll end in two deaths just like your story too. Glad you liked it!
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Dear Ali,
Do I hear “Darwin Award?” Funny.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
That came to my mind too! I’m glad you liked it 🙂
Ali
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I think these guys were in a little over their heads. They got close anyway! Funny story, Ali.
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And they’ll go out with a bang 🙂
I’m glad you liked it!
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I think perhaps those two crooks are going to end up’ sliced and diced’ (or equivalent!), too. Perhaps they should have looked more carefully for a backup system. 🙂
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Yeah, they were so pleased to have evaded the laser grid…
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Oh no, back up security. Love the Resident Evil reference which totally made me grin.
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That bit in Resident Evil always makes me wince 🙂
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There is nothing like an ending with something ticking at the bottom of the bag. You know there is more to come.
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Indeed. Though I’m sure our protagonists will wish there was not more to come!
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Very nice ending, just when I was thinking they got away with it!
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Thanks! Just when they were thinking they got away with it too…
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Yep. Thumbs up!
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They should be easy to find shortly, at least parts of them. 😉
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Ha! They’ve gone all to pieces and lost their heads 🙂
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Silly thieves – of course they had a backup system. I love where it is – I wonder what happens when the sceptre stops ticking. Great story. Love it.
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I think when the sceptre stops ticking, so do they!
I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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