FF – A Night in the Trailer
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, the 100 word challenge hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo comes from Jan Wayne Fields.
To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.
Copyright Jan Wayne Fields
“Morning, Dear!”
“Morning, Love! Um… didn’t we used to have a car?”
“After last year’s camping trip, I arranged with my friends to drive it back home overnight. This is real camping. No phones…”
“Whaaat?”
“… no car, just us and Nature. Ah, the smell of the woods, the sound of the… bears?”
“Yeek! We’ve no car! No car!”
“Don’t panic, Dear. Squeeze into the trailer!”
“It’s tiny!”
Much, much later…
“Do you think they’ve gone, Dear?”
“Do you wanna poke your head out and check, Mr Nature?”
“Not really. Let’s make the best of it. Marshmallow?”
Frosty silence.
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Friday Fictioneers
draliman on life 
Loved the use of dialogue here. Humorous and fast-paced. Almost like reading a screenplay or watching a movie 🙂
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Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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Fun read… hope they reach home safe and sound. I liked the form of the post, especially the use of ‘much, much later…’. You never disappoint👏😀
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Thanks 🙂
I hope they reach home safely too. I’m sure the bears will give up and go away!
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I love nature. I hate camping unless it’s in a cabin and there’s running water and screens. You just confirmed why I hate it. Bugs. Big hungry animals. And no toilets. Anyway, I could never convince Garry to go ANYWHERE without a full bathroom.
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I’m with you. We don’t have many hungry predators in this country but the lack of toilets would kill it for me 🙂
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Ha.. I think Marshmallows is a great cure against a hungry bear.
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Of course they are Bjorn, you throw fiery molten marshmallows at them and they’ll run 😀
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Even bears love marshmallows 🙂
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I love these shorts that you post. Writing prompts are very difficult for me so I’m impressed
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I’m glad you’re enjoying them! Try your hand, you never know 🙂
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Very funny. Always better to have a safe back up… And marshmallows 🙂
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A supply of marshmallows inside the safe backup is the ideal situation!
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I refuse to do my business behind a tree. 🙂
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Same here 🙂
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Frosty silence 🙂 I hope the bears have not dinned out 🙂
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Mmm, slow roasted camper 🙂
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Oh man… would he lose Brownie points with me for such a loser move…
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Yeah, the mad fool 🙂
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LOL this is so you 🙂
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Hee 🙂
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hehehe I hope they got home safely! I went camping once and it was one time too many 😉
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I’ve never been on an overnight camp out. Hopefully never will 🙂
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A delightful camping event experienced by many , I’m sure. Thanks.
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There’s nothing like getting back to nature 🙂
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Hahahaha! Funny stuff, Ali. The timing on the dialogue, very concise and crisp.
Five out of five calls of nature.
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it! I find dialogue a lot easier than straight prose.
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And that’s what you should stay with, really. Always go with your best pitch. I’m noticing some folks here going the dialogue way a little, which I like because I write primarily scripts, so that probably has been an influence. Again, good work!
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Writing no-dialogue pieces can be quite a struggle for me sometimes.
Thanks!
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Dear Draliman,
If she ever gets out of the trailer and back to civilization it’s a sure bet that he’ll be camping alone (and quite possibly sleeping alone) for for the foreseeable future.
Yours,
Doug
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Dear Doug,
My thoughts exactly! And instead of sleeping on the sofa, he’ll be in a tent in the garden 🙂
Ali
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Camping. Let’s spend a couple of days living like our ancestors did a couple centuries ago! No, thank you…
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All the average camping trip requires to be really authentic is a dose of Black Death and a horde of barbarians appearing over the hill.
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Dear Ali,
I predict that this won’t go down in his memory as a good trip. But I have a hunch she’ll never let him forget it either. Good one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
She’ll be living off this one for a while, I’m sure. He’ll be doing all the household chores till his hands fall off 🙂
I’m glad you liked it!
Ali
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Hahahaha! My response would have been, “Back to nature, my ASS,” LOL!
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Ha, yes!
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Haha! Well, better the frosty silence than bear growls and screams!!
Very cute story!
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True 🙂
Glad you liked it!
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i think having a sense of humor can save the day. 🙂
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For sure. It sounds like she’s failing to see the funny side, though 🙂
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I have been on that camping trip!!!!!! but no marshmellows… we did have cheesies?
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Cheese works too! Yum.
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Love this especially how you used dialogue!
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Thanks! I enjoy writing dialogue. I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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REAL camping is overrated. 😛
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Thankfully I’ve never been but from what I’ve seen, you’re right. I’m happy to walk out in nature during the day and relax in a warm bed at night 🙂
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You’re lucky that nobody has ever ‘forced’ you to go camping! 😁
I’m also happy to go for nature walks, as long as I can sleep in a warm bed at night.
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🙂
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Eerily fun story.
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I’m glad you liked it!
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Another very funny contribution from the one who knows how to make them. Well done, you’re certainly keeping up the standard.
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Thanks, I’ve managed about four funny ones in a row now! I’m glad you liked it.
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Very funny and so well observed!
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Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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Funny! Thank goodness that we didn’t have any bears to contend with these last few months…deer, on the other hand… and the occasional skunk, is another story.
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Deer sound cool but I’m not so sure about the skunks 🙂
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Aw, skunkies aren’t bad critters. They’re actually kind of cute… but then, I have no ability to smell, so maybe that helps.
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The “smell” thing is the main reason for avoidance 🙂
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Funny stuff!
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I’m glad you liked it!
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Very funny. And a an expert capture of the relationship between a camping zealot and someone of saner mentality.
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Ha, “saner mentality”. I see your views of camping are the same as mine!
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Better no nature for us…MOL 😀 Pawkisses for a Happy Weekend 🙂 ❤
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You’d miss your comfy sofa 🙂
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Haha, the trailer is tiny indeed 🙂
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Imagine two people spending the night in there, especially when one is somewhat upset with the other… 🙂
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Yes, I am still laughing 🙂
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🙂
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I love the interplay between these two. I hope they have a lot of marshmallows with them. 🙂
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I hope so too, they could be in there a while 🙂
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Hehe. No camping for me!
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Not for me either. It’s a warm bed for me, bear-free!
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Heheh, good thing they had the trailer. But with the marshmallows in there, they’ll never get rid of the bears. Fun story.
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Everybody and everything loves marshmallows 🙂 The bears are probably queued up outside checking their watches and huffing, waiting for their treats.
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Somehow, I don’t think she’s going to be going camping with him again any time soon! Great story with brilliant use of dialogue, Ali. You captured their relationship perfectly. 🙂
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I think camping is well and truly off the agenda. I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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I think camping is well and truly off the agenda. I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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There should be a warning hung around this guy’s neck. “Don’t go camping with this man”. I hope they make it back alive. Hilarious, Ali. Good writing 😀 — Suzanne
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I expect one of them will make it back alive anyway 🙂
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Oh dear! This doesn’t sound like a harmonious camping trip!
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Should’ve gone to that nice hotel on the Costa del wherever 🙂
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Well done. I can see a few couples in these stories needing extensive counselling after returning from their camping trip…especially yours!
My story is set in the Australian bush: https://beyondtheflow.wordpress.com/2016/12/03/the-virgin-campers-friday-fictioneers/
xx Rowena
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I think camping has to go really well for both to enjoy it, as one partner would usually prefer a beach-front hotel!
I just read yours 🙂
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My camping experiences were never good. The last I recall was standing on a picnic table trying to keep the raccoons away with a plastic fork! Great write…I love nature but not that close.
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Raccoon attack! Ah, nature…
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