FF – Beauty is Skin Deep
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. The photo comes from Roger Bultot.
Copyright Roger Bultot
Dre’gar viewed the scene before him through his suit’s plexiglass visor. Beautiful. Oxygen/nitrogen atmosphere. Water. This would make an excellent planet. Once the indigenous life – human – was extinguished, of course.
He raised his visor, savoured real air and began typing his recommendation for invasion.
Then hacked. Coughed. Vomited. And dropped dead. His body liquefied and oozed out of his suit.
Belatedly, his bargain-basement toxicity sensor began to beep.
Toxins detected! Carbon monoxide. Lead. Nitrous oxide. Sulphur dioxide. Lethal levels. DO NOT REMOVE HELMET!
His scout ship, receiving the information, dropped a plague beacon in orbit and left. Never to return.
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draliman on life 
The upside to poisoning our planet! Good stuff.
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Yeah. No other bugger wants it 🙂
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Get it published worldwide, quickly.
Too late!
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🙂
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OOPS! Probably should have checked the “recall” list on that product. 🙂 giggles.
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I guess their military went for the lowest bidder when it came to kitting out their troops 🙂
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Many a death has been caused that way, sadly.
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Yes.
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The planet is too polluted for alien invasion! 😀 I like the plague beacon.
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Sadly, and also fortunately, yes 🙂 Thanks to the plague beacon we’re safe for another 100 years or so, until we can’t live here any more either.
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Well…with all due respect…good riddance. Not
I assume the humans are already gone, but since some trees have survived there’s still hope for the place. 😐
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Nah, we’re still here, hardened to the pollution through decades of breathing the stuff in. Hooray!
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Dear Ali,
Damn the luck. It doesn’t sound like there’s hope for either alien or human. Good one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
A temporary reprieve only, that’s for sure.
Ali
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Oh, this is funny. Well, maybe not for Dre’gar. Thanks for the laugh!
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I’m sure Dre’gar would be most put out if he heard you laughing at his unexpected liquefaction 🙂
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Oops! Close, but no cigar.
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It was all looking so promising, too.
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It seems we might be immune to rapid disintegration as we’re used to our atmosphere. We just die slowly. Maybe we haven’t met other intelligent life forms because another planet “has” dropped a warning beacon. Good writing, Ali. 😀 — Suzanne
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There could well be a probe up there somewhere warning more enlightened races to stay clear! I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
This could explain why we haven’t met other intelligent life.
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Thanks 🙂
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I expect we must be more or less surrounded by plague beacons by now. Good one.
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It wouldn’t surprise me. I’m glad you liked it!
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I loved the description of dre’gar liquefying!
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If only I’d had a few more words, it would’ve been even more graphic 🙂
I had to hack this story to bits for the word count but that was one sentence I couldn’t part with!
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Great story Ali! He has landed on earth to wipe out humanity!
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And fell foul of our foul atmosphere 🙂
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Oh Dear Alaistar, you had me in stitches at the line:
Belatedly, his bargain-basement toxicity sensor began to beep.
So nice invaders have those places too!
Thank you for the laughing session.
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I reckon every planet has some form of “pound shop”. Maybe better to pay a bit more for the safety gear, though.
I’m glad you liked it!
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Good for us.
Actually, the story momentarily reminded me of the 1951 science fiction novel “Iceworld” by Hal Clement.
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Just looked that up – sounds intriguing.
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Ha ha, funny one! Finally our attempts to destroy our planet actually save it — well, at least momentarily. And I’m definitely amused that he bought the cheap toxicity suit. Penny wise but pound foolish!
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Yeah, who’d’a thunk it?
He’d’ve been better off spending more on the suit, but he needed the extra cash for his in-flight premium snacks. Bad decision 🙂
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You have to be true to your priorities in life. Unless your priorities are stupid. And then you should listen to your mother. 😉
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🙂
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Well…at least he found out how poisened our planet is become…MOL 😀 Pawkisses for a Happy Weekend 🙂 ❤
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Yep. At least we’re safe from invasion. No-one wants to come here.
You have a lovely weekend too. And stay away from the big digging machines in the garden 🙂
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How ingeniously brilliant of humans to ward off potential alien attacks by poisoning our planet! We are much smarter than we give ourselves credit for….
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Poison the well! Poison the well! Hey, wait, what’ll we drink…?
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Our planet needs no invasion, except we ourselves are chocking it and us to death.
“…body liquefied and oozed out of his suit.” made me smile.
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We’re doing very nicely on the destruction front ourselves. No help required.
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Sadly true. 😦
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Ha! So that’s been the goal all along. If we humans screw this planet up so massively (as we are on course to keep doing), then no aliens will want to invade. It’s all so clear now. Sadly brilliant, Ali!
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Yeah, I can’t believe no-one’s thought of it before! Oh, wait…
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I loved this! Lesson learned on toxicity sensors!
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Yep. Save your pennies and buy a really really expensive one. Possibly made by Apple.
I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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lesson learned !!
nice take and I felt the complete adventure in these few words –
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Sadly too late for Dre’gar 🙂
I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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Oh wow – ha
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LOL. Buying cheap safety items is a recipe for disaster. Very funny this week, as I can’t feel sorry for poor Dre’gar although maybe I do a little for the plague ridden humans.
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People the universe over cut corners on safety equipment. At least the plague-ridden humans are used to the pollution!
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Fair enough.
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Glad inept aliens didn’t take over the planet!
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Me too! Far too dirty for them 🙂
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Yikes! Seems the aliens have their own set of problems 🙂
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They certainly need to start buying a more reputable brand of safety equipment 🙂
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This was a very creative take on the prompt. I loved the shoddy equipment and bringing in how we are killing our planet.
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It’s the story with everything 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!
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Well, at least we aren’t going to have any aliens around for a while. Well done!
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No, they know better than to come here and dissolve! I’m glad you liked it.
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You get what you pay for … oopsies! Love the dark humour.
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Not the best area to be cutting corners in 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!
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Lucky this time, weren’t we… We’ll find a way to do it ourselves, though. Eventually…
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Very true 😦
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Bargain basement… proof it never pays to go too cheap…
This was a hoot. Well, not for poor Dre’gar, but for us hardened humans…
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He definitely should have invested a bit more in his safety gear 🙂
We’re made of stronger stuff, fortunately. What’s a bit of sulphur dioxide between friends…
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Indeed!
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