FF – Mission Failed
Here is my rather rushed story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Sandra Crook.
Copyright Sandra Crook
Barclay drew his boat up quietly to the bank near a lawn of sculptures which looked as though they’d been vomited randomly into place. High class venue. He saw cars near the mansion and smiled. No-one would expect him to sneak in by boat. He drew his gun.
Two at the door – blam! blam! Red sprayed. One more inside – blam! Right to the head. Too easy…
… until the hallway. Ten, all firing at once. Screaming, he fell in a pool of sticky red and groaned. He’d never get all this paint out. His mum was going to kill him.
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draliman on life 
And just TRY getting that paint off your eyeglasses … or for that matter, your computer keyboard. Life is hell and paintballs are worse.
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You’re supposed to use goggles, but Barclay doesn’t seem the type.
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Mom is going to be real mad! Unexpected ending and wonderful story!
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No treats for Barclay for the foreseeable future! I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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Ha-ha-ha I wasn’t expecting that! Well done! 🙂
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Neither was Barclay haha 🙂
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Almost not funny… at least until the paint was revealed. good write this week.
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It could have been a bloodbath but fortunately wasn’t. I’m glad you liked it!
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Be thankful it was just paint.
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Yep, for sure.
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Did he get the bruises that come with paintball… amazing how much that hurts!!
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He probably shouldn’t have shot that one chap in the head either!
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Too true. Though you are supposed to wear protective gear…
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Protective gear’s for wusses ha ha OUCH!
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Ha ha!
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Fun story, you scared me for a moment but it ended with a laugh.
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It was getting pretty violent there for a moment.
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Great reply! lol
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Ha ha ha. Great twist there.
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
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Well done Ali, great twist 😀
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Surely you didn’t think I was killing all those people? 😉
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😮 Perish the thought… 😀 😀
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Brilliant! Not the outcome I expected
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Thanks! I’m glad you liked it.
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This would be a great place for some paintball 🙂
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It would! Hiding behind trees, running through the hallways…
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Dear Ali,
I’m laughing with relief. You took me gory to adorable in swell foop. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
You can see the earlier part of the story in a new light once you realise he’s not some sort of homicidal assassin 🙂
I’m glad you enjoyed it!
Ali
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Paintball indoors… I think I’d be annoyed myself 😀
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I’m sure it was overdue for redecorating 🙂
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Totally unexpected! I was fearing the worst. But thankfully it was just paint. However, that would still be enough to make his mum mad…sticky….
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Just imagine trying to wash all that out of everywhere 😦
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Gave me quite the chuckle. Good story.
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
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What an amazing twist. 🙂
I haven’t seen violence in your FF stories, so far, but with this one I wasn’t too sure until the very end.
Superb storytelling.
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I’m glad you liked it 🙂
Some of my stories have been a bit violent (but never in such an obvious way) but not recently.
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What? Nobody was killed or at least horribly maimed!?!? I guess I’ll just have to turn on the news to get my murder fix…
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I had a feeling you’d be a bit disappointed by the surprise twist!
If it makes you feel better, a stunt possum on his way to a gig at SCT took a stray paintball to the head and was knocked backwards into the canal, never to be seen again…
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I’m smiling, smiling, smiling. Wonderful silliness, Ali. More of a Basildon Bond than a James, me thinks.
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He did display a certain amount of carelessness after all his careful planning. I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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A delightful twist at the end. I love the “which looked as though they’d been vomited randomly into place” because those rocks look just that way!
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That was the first thing which sprang to mind when I saw the photo. So although it didn’t really have anything to do with the story, I thought I’d bung it in there 🙂
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oh what a relief! it was just kids’ play! but mom will probably kill her anyway for making a mess of himself. 🙂
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Yes, dead one way or the other. Or grounded anyway!
Sorry, your comment went in my spam for some reason.
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Fun stuff!
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Thanks 🙂
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Ah, a paint gun battle. That would be a mess to clear up. Good writing, Ali. 🙂 — Suzanne
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A very messy mess 🙂
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Love the idea of sculptures being vomited randomly into place!. He was doing so well, perhaps a little over confident. This was so well set up to be an assassination, that turning into paintball was a fun relief.
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He certainly won’t make it is an assassin. I’m glad you liked it!
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If it was my house I’d be angry too. Though I’d make the kid clean up and then throw the kid in a washing machine on a long cycle. Though I’d avoid the dryer and just hang straight on the line. Too much?
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No, he deserves it 🙂
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Doesn’t feel rushed, great job!
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
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That’s a fun story, Ali.
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I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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Great fun. I love a happy story 🙂
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Much fun was had by all 🙂
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Quite the party. 🙂 This sounds like something my son would do, right down to the pool of paint.
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Ha ha oh dear 🙂
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You have a great way to switch a story into another direction, Draliman. Pawsome! Pawkisses for a Happy Weekend 🙂 ❤
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I’m glad you enjoyed the twist 🙂 I hope you, granny and grandpaw have a happy weekend too!
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Great twist at the end! I didn’t expect that at all.
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It was quite a switch around. I’m glad you liked it!
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That was a fun twist there, Ali. Cleverly done.
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Thanks, a little twist at the end to dilute the violence.
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Paintball can be messy… you gave me an surprise there… I should have expected it coming from you.
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I was never going to write a story that was just gratuitous violence start to finish 🙂
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Great twist!
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Thanks!
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Great twist at the end to change the meaning of the whole story. I enjoyed the story.
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Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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Paintball – fun! Nice build-up.
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Nobody got hurt after all! Well apart from that chap he shot in the head. I bet that smarts.
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‘I bet that smarts’?? Autocorrect? 😀
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No, that’s what I meant 🙂
I just looked up “smarts” as in “hurts” and it doesn’t specifically say it’s UK slang (whereas “smarts” as in “brains/intelligence” is US slang).
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Ah, gotcha! Learned another British expression. 🙂
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🙂
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