FF – Abduction!
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. The photo was contributed by Douglas M. MacIlroy and appears to depict some sort of horrific medieval torture cage.
Copyright Douglas M. MacIlroy
Jerry huddled, miserable and cold in the cage. The skies were darkening and the cold was seeping into his bones. In the distance he could see the truck that had brought him here. All was quiet.
Hours later and the sun rose, hurting his eyes. He felt panic, terror. His muscles had cramped. He started at a sound, two men approaching. One of them vomited on the grass. The other spoke.
“Jeez, sorry mate. We got pissed and forgot about you! It was only supposed to be twenty minutes.”
“Forgot about me? I’m the bloody groom! Worst stag do ever!”
Note: in case you’re not aware, it’s a traditional jape at a stag do (I believe in America it’s called a “bachelor party”) to “fake kidnap” the groom and (hopefully) deliver him to the party. Sometimes he ends up chained to a lamp post 🙂
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draliman on life 
It takes on a different meaning too when you mention “pissed”. In the UK it means drunk, and in the US it means angry…it works both ways, but can leave some wondering what he did to anger his friends. Great story. (btw, its a disc golf basket). I am still looking for a sporting story.
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I’d forgotten the other meaning of “pissed”, We use it that way in the UK too which sometimes causes confusion. Maybe I should have used “hammered”.
Golf basket, torture cage, tomato, tomayto… 🙂
I’m glad you liked it!
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I remember the “fake kidnappings” from my parents’ generation (and I’m old), but I don’t recall any of them going this bad.
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This one was pretty bad alright. Good job they didn’t sleep the day away and leave him there!
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A classic comedy scene. Everyone laughing until the Bride turns up…
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Ha, I doubt she’d be too impressed!
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Ha ha – you got me! Loved the surprise twist ending. 🙂
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Not quite as evil a scene as it looked. I’m glad you liked it!
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Oops. 🙂
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Master of the understatement 🙂
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Yep!
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I must admit that I find these traditions rather barbaric – and can even end up being fatal..
That said, good take on the prompt there, sir!
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Fortunately I think they’re dying out somewhat. I’m glad you liked it!
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Yes, fortunately.
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Hahaha.
Poor guy!
Great story and writing, Draliman.
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What a way to start his new life! I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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Ha! Ha! On the bright side at least they remembered where they had left him.
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Ha, imagine having to explain that to the bride 🙂
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I expect his bride will be pleased to see him. So pleased I should imagine she’ll hug him to death.
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Maybe she’ll be very understanding and… no, you’re right.
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I’ll never understand this kind of “humor” perpetrated on the groom, the bride, the couple. I understand that this situation was not intended, but good grief–who would think it funny to be caged up, even for 20 minutes?
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Me neither. There’s not so much of it about these days. The only stag do’s I’ve been to have been nice quiet affairs with a nice meal and some chatting.
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Hahahaha! Great story! Loved the ending!
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
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One have to be careful with the kidnapping business… 😀
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For sure. One little miscalculation… 🙂
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Seen Fargo? 😀
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No. The film or the TV series (I’ve seen neither) but I just looked at them on IMDB. Both look good!
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Dear Ali,
Oh snap! That ending about made me choke. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
I’m glad you liked it and didn’t quite choke 🙂 Hope you’re enjoying your road trip still!
Ali
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Totally loved the switcheroo in this story. I was imagining something medieval at the beginning. Then you switched up on me. That’s a prank gone horribly wrong. Are they still friends? Fun story!
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Some people just don’t think things through! As long as he makes the wedding in one piece I expect he’ll forgive them.
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I’m so glad I’d just finished my last spot of coffee! Otherwise . . . So much fun. Great build up, delightfully humorous end, unless you’re the groom. Then all bets are off.
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Yes, poor guy. The rest of the guests at the stag do had a great time, though 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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i guess he better get used to it. marriage could be a ball of chains. 🙂
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Ha, his best man was only acclimatising him to his future 🙂
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LOL! Completely unexpected ending! Priceless! 🙂
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I’m glad you enjoyed it! Surprise endings from me shouldn’t really be surprises any more 🙂
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Oops! Just goes to show that letting drunk people make and execute plans is a bad idea!
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Drunk people seem to have no sense of responsibility… 🙂
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Hehe! Nice change of tone. I never would’ve guessed it would end this way😅
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Looking on the bright side, he’s still alive and might even make the wedding 🙂
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Nice take on the prompt. I liked the way you turned it around at the end!
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Thanks, I like a bit of a twist 🙂
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Great ending. Very unexpected.
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Thanks! Very unexpected for him too, he was looking forward to an evening’s drinking 🙂
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Oops! the poor guy!
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“I know we’ve forgotten something, but I just can’t put my finger on it… whose round is it?” 🙂
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🙂
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You captured that drunken ritual well. I imagined something more sinister, although it could turn ugly if he’s late for the wedding.
Tracey
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Yes, if he forces the bride to start driving around in circle he’s going to wish he was back in that cage 🙂
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I too was expecting something more sinister. I think you not following your usual path of blood and guts make your stories even funnier. The jokes on us.
Good job. ;0)
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Thanks! I’ve decided you don’t need splattering brains to make a funny story 🙂
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Good for you. All those lives thank you. ;0)
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🙂
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I’m so glad it turned out to be an idiotic prank. I was really worried about him, then came your twist as a massive relief. Good story.
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A nasty night for him but at least he gets to enjoy his life now. I’m glad you liked it!
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His bride’s probably getting a personal dance from a Chippendale at this very moment, and he’s locked up in a cage because his buddies are drunks. It pays to choose your friends wisely as you grow up….
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Yeah, she’s having a much more fun time. This bunch are definitely not the most responsible of people.
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I’ve never heard the likes! No wonder he was mad.
It’s called a ‘stag party’ here, too, but what’s become more common is a “buck & doe party” a mixed affair where bride and groom are both present.
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That sounds more the sort of thing I’d prefer. A nice pre-wedding party together! I see the stag/buck/doe theme persists. For some reason the bride-to-be’s party is a “hen” party/night/do over here.
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I think “Stag” carries a better, more ‘manly’ impression than most other familiar male creature names. Likewise Buck & Doe would trump “Rooster and Hen” any day, IMO. 😉
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“Rooster party” doesn’t have the same ring to it…
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Oh my goodness, great twist. Well-done! =)
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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With your intro about the medieval torture device I expected the worst… and had a good chuckle with the conclusion. Interesting that the groom gets kidnapped. Here in Germany it is (or used to be?) the bride who gets kidnapped at the wedding feast.
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I went to a German wedding many years ago. I don’t specifically remember a kidnapping but there was a lot going on, all sorts of things, it was great!
I’m glad you liked my story!
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I don’t know if they still do it, It’s been a long time since I’ve been…
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Ha ha ha. Loved that one. Very well done.
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Thanks, glad you liked it!
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Oh the problems of stag dos, reminds me of a few I’ve been to that didn’t go according to plan. Well told
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Ah, the excitement of yoof 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!
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Love the change in tone from ominous to hilarious!
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Glad you liked it! It could have gone real bad, rather than just pretty bad.
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IF he makes it to the altar I have a feeling this friendship is over (at least until after the divorce)
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He doesn’t want to burn any bridges, he’ll need them in his corner when it all falls to bits.
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Ouch, this makes me remember one or two stag parties I’ve been to… we left one guy chained to a bench on an island… he got home quite late.
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Ha! Nice to see the tradition is still alive and well 🙂
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Just believable – beautifully told, love the ending. Well done.
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Thanks! I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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Isn’t it always the way. At least Jerry won’t be hungover, assuming he’s going straight to the wedding. Great how you set this up – Jerry’s fear and tension are palpable before the vomiting friend shows up.
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He might be a bit stiff and sore, though 🙂
I’m glad you liked the build up.
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Wow, he won’t be in very good condition for the marriage. Some friends. Good writing, Ali. 😀 — Suzanne
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He has some work to do to get ready in time 🙂
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