FF – Marital Bliss
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Jan Wayne Fields.
I tried a bit of present tense this week to try to make it seem more “immediate”. Or whatever. I had major issues with the word count, much rewording was required!
Copyright Jan Wayne Fields
“How about a photo, my darling? Move a bit closer to the edge, it’ll be more dramatic. Look at the view.” A couple more yards, then I’ve got you…
“Of course dearest. It’s lovely!”
She reaches the edge and he charges forward, arms outstretched, face murderous, triumphant. Oblivious, she bends to rummage in her bag. Eyes wide, he trips over her and falls, smashing on the rocks below.
“Oh my. How… unfortunate. And messy. Well, this is more ‘accidental-looking’. It’s so hard to explain a stab wound.“
She places the knife back in her bag, dials the police, and smiles.
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draliman on life 
Not messy for long, wait until the vultures come to feast on what remains. 🙂
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Mmm, splattered human with a side of entrails. A rare treat!
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Yummy stuff for the vultures. 🙂
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Their stream of love seems to have run dry long ago, but there must be a couple of insurance policies hidden in the picture here.
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For sure. I dallied with the idea of “mansion”, “fast car”, “insurance”, but the word count didn’t allow for a decent ending trying to get one of those in there.
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All’s well that ends well.
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Yep. She got what she wanted and didn’t even have to actually murder anyone!
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Really, how amazing! What a take. Enjoyed it.
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Quite a stroke of luck for her 🙂
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Goodness, that was chilling! The tense worked for me.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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I’m glad the tense worked. I’m generally not a fan of reading stuff in the present tense but I figured it was only 100 words.
I’m glad you liked it!
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Good exercise. For him, For you. Well done
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
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Ooooh clever 😀
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Thanks 🙂
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LOL classic! Never trust all that my darling and sweetest guff 😀
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There’s always trouble behind the scenes when people start in with all that 🙂
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How extremely convenient for her that their timing was way off… well for him, anyway!
Such a most loving couple…
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They’re a testament to undying love. No, wait, one of them did die… 🙂
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I don’t think they knew but they were so perfect for each other! Reminded me of a movie called Sightseers.
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Yes, they were of one mind! I’ve not seen that film.
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Ha ha ha. The better plotter won 🙂 I wrote a similar story (in spirit) just a couple of days ago: https://jagahdilmein.wordpress.com/2018/04/24/come-undone-atozchallenge-blogchattera2z/
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Just read it! People are dropping like flies on WordPress at the moment 🙂
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Ha ha ha. Crime Wave on Twitter!
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men are smart… it just happens that women are smarter. 🙂
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Well, that woman. Let’s not go crazy!
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Insurance Adjuster: Well, ma’am. We have concluded that your husband’s death was a suicide, and can not pay out the one million pound claim on his life. I am sorry.
Wife: But it really was an accident! I witnessed it!
Adjuster: Really now…
Wife: He tripped was lunging for me and tripped over a stone!
Adjuster: And didn’t take you with him?
Wife: I managed to duck out of the way while I was going for my knife with the intent to murder him.
Adjuster: I see. Well then, we’ll just tidy up our report and have your check mailed to you within five business days.
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Amusingly bloodthirsty!
I enjoyed this.
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I was determined to get “smashing on the rocks” in despite my word count issues. I’m glad you liked it!
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Dear Ali,
A match made slightly lower than heaven. Obviously they were of one mind. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Not the most stable of marriages. Just case of who got there first 🙂
Ali
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Present tense works well. And he won’t even have a hand-print on his body to make them question her story.
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I’m glad the tense worked! No hand print, no gaping knife wound. Lucky woman!
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Everything is fair in love and war… no matter what!
Can’t even say well deserved. They both had the same thing in their minds – pure Marital Bliss. 🙂
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Yes, it was just a case of who got there first 🙂
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You wrung an unwilling smile from me with that bloodthirsty tale, Ali! Well done!
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Heh, thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
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Is it ok if I laughed? What a great murder story. Loved this!
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Yeah, laugh away 🙂 It does remind me of a film, maybe the early part of Mr and Mrs Smith? I’m sure they started out being very polite on the surface while trying to do each other in behind the scenes 🙂
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ha-ha-ha This made me LOL! I must remember that trick. 🙂
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While on clifftop remember to bend over at random moment in case someone’s trying to chuck you off 🙂
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WOW! Who did expect that…not me 😀 Great twist, Draliman 😀 Pawkisses for a Happy Weekend 🙂 ❤
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It was unexpected to all involved, I think 🙂
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Entertaining well-written story. I gather the counselling hadn’t worked too well for these two. Shame.
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Sadly the counselling crashed and burned leaving them with no alternative but foul murder 🙂
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Well. Two homicidal maniacs, one just a tad smarter than the other. Great twist in this fast-moving story.
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They deserved each other, I think. Shame they didn’t both go over, blaming each other all the way down 🙂
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The little minx. This isn’t what I’d call the ideal loving couple. Hilarious although a bit brutal, Ali. Good writing. 😀 — Suzanne
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I’m sure they tolerated each other once, long ago. I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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This was obviously a match made in heaven. Well done on the immediacy and the cutting – just perfect.
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They’re certainly very like-minded individuals! I’m glad you felt the style worked out 🙂
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Good one! Got a good chuckle for it1
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
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This made me laugh. They really deserved each other.
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They did for sure. I’m glad you liked it!
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So chillingly brilliant.
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Thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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My goodness their relationship got that bad, living on a knife edge. Fun read.
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It’s kinda a relief it’s finally over. Well, for her.
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The better (or worse) person won 😉 As usual an entertaining read 🙂
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Neither of them are particularly nice! I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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Humorous and convenient little accident, you had me laughing again
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Saved her having to get DNA all over her knife! I’m glad you liked it.
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A perfectly deserved murder.
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I couldn’t have put it better myself.
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Ha.. marriage is bliss but divorce is too messy.
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Best to avoid all that unpleasantness.
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I doubt it’s the first time they’ve thought of killing each other. Luck was obviously on the wife’s side. Love the dark humour!
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It was just a question of who got luckier first 🙂 I’m glad you like it!
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Ad so the murderous author has returned. Characters beware.
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Yeah, kill kill kill 🙂
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Ha, ha. ;0)
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So very cool! You are fantastic – how funny and satisfying for her – Him? Not so lucky!
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I’m glad you liked it! Yes, a real stroke of luck. It genuinely was an accident!
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And the Life Insurance was for millions and millions and millions and — Oh, too much? Think that might draw attentions? OK, just one million. Sounds better.
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No need to be greedy! A cool mil will do the trick. Plus the mansion, garage full of classic cars etc of course.
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What a perfectly lovely couple! Great twist, and the present tense works really well. 😃
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They definitely deserved each other 🙂 I’m glad you felt the present tense worked here. I find reading a whole book in the present tense quite tiring, though!
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What a lovely couple, so deserving of one another! I pity the poor fool who comes next for the poor grieving widow.
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Yeah, the “grieving” Black Widow 🙂
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LOL…well they were a happy couple!
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They had a lot of fun times thinking up ways to knock off the other one 🙂
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They were certainly made for each other 😀
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For sure. They very much deserved each other!
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Great story – very well crafted, no words wasted. All that action so deftly achieved. Clever stuff.
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Thanks, it was a struggle to fit it all in 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!
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