FF – A Hell of a Day
Here is my little story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Dale Rogerson.
I had to cut 39 words out this week so it’s not quite the epic I initially imagined 😦
Copyright Dale Rogerson
Jimbo watched the sun, or what passed for the sun, rising. Everything, as usual, looked a bit grainy. It must be all the sulphur and damnation, he supposed.
Tuesday today. A bit of light torture, lunch, then to finish, something truly horrific.
He’d had a postcard from his mate yesterday. He’d gone “up there”. He was having a marvellous afterlife sitting on a cloud, strumming a harp.
Jimbo hadn’t been a bad man in life. But apparently there was a limit to the number of paper clips you could steal from your place of work and keep your soul intact.
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draliman on life 
Great story! (Now I must go post a package of paper clips!)
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Good thinking. Send them back, quick!
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The cartoons are right.? It’s really like that?..
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Yep. Who knew?
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They send people to hell for any little reason these days!
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It’s getting pretty full down there. But it’s okay, G4S has just won the contract to run the place…
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Ah…
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Oh hell. See you there!
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I bagsie the top bunk!
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So, hell by way of Office Manager. 🙂
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The temptation’s just too much 🙂
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i guess everybody has something hidden in his closet.
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We just have to hope it’s not considered too big…
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Ha ha ha. But what do they do with the paper clips?
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No-one knows. But you can never have too many paper clips.
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Wow, Ali, your world is really strict about who goes where in the afterlife. Also, the devil works by a strict daily schedule. 😀 — Suzanne
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Very strict! You’ve got to have a routine 🙂
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Hehe! I recently started working but now all I want to do is steal some paper clips😅 who would know right😏
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Yeah, go on, you know you want to, they’ll never miss a few… 🙂
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I believe this is just misleading propaganda put out by Kingdom of Heaven Inc. Sitting on a cloud and strumming a harp…. really. Damnation’s where it’s at. I’ll bet there’s a party that literally never ends going on inside of that house. And you know it ain’t the good girls who’ll be there. Behold the wonderful afterlife that awaits the common office thief…
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There was a Blackadder episode on just such a topic – he was Archbishop of Canterbury and used that argument to persuade people to leave their land to the state rather than the church so they’d go straight to Hell – where they do fun things.
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Oh the terrible affliction of guilt, worse than paper clips is stealing time!
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You don’t even want to know what happens to people who steal time…
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Well written, Ali. Making bathos work is a tricky business, and you’ve done it expertly. Well done!
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Thanks! I didn’t previously know the term “bathos” but it fits 🙂
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Dear Ali,
I have to wonder. When one goes “up there” do they automatically know how to play the harp? Fun stuff.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
If only I hadn’t had to cut out those 39 words you would have learned that his mate was tone deaf but still having fun! I’m glad you liked it 🙂
Ali
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Risking eternal damnation for paperclips? Who knew?
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Not Jimbo, sadly 🙂
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XD
I hope there is no limit on the amount of coffee I can mooch! 😛
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Coffee has a special exemption – demons are also fond of pilfering multiple cups a day and felt penalising that would be a step too far 🙂
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XD XD
I like how you think! 🙂
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🙂
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And that only for stealing papurr clips…MOL 😀 Pawkisses for a Happy Weekend 🙂 ❤
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It’s harsh, but that’s the way it is 🙂
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I may be a clip or two over the limit… glad I can keep in touch with friends who went the other way 😉
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Uh oh! Yes, Hell is full of surprises.
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I REALLY hope heaven is not just sitting around on clouds strumming harps. Booooorrrrring 🙂
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Yes, that’s more a cartoon view than the promised Kingdom 🙂
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Unless he’s playing some kind of rock on the harp. hey, if they can do it on bagpipes and such… 😉
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I’m not sure rock is allowed up there 😦
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Then I ain’t going….
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What a lightweight. IF that’s the best he can do….
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He could have really gone for it had he known. In for a paper clip, in for a bank heist…
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Haha!!
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Uh oh. (lol)
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It’s not to late to send those paper clips and biros back!
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And I thought you only went to hell for stringing paper clips together like daisy chains when a stressed PA needs to get her hands on one fast!
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That too, but there’s a very special place reserved for people who do that… 🙂
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Because I work in an office, this made me smile.
Jimbo leave the paper clip where it is, you can do it!
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We must all learn from poor Jimbo’s mistake 🙂
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Oh dear, is overs-stealing paperclips enough to have to go down? Although, looking at that sun up looks quite warm too. I like the idea of postcards from those that have gone before – what are they allowed to tell us?
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It’s more than warm, it’s hell 🙂 Postcards from heaven to hell are uncensored – those in charge down below like their denizens to know what they’re missing.
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Great story. Who knows, may be you were inspired to give us an honest picture of the things to come, and of the limits 😉
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The rules are tightening up, who knows what little thing lands us in the “bad place” 🙂
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Good story
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Thanks!
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