FF – Tales from a Chessboard
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Jeff Arnold.
I’ve gone completely wacky this week. Some might say surreal 🙂
Copyright Jeff Arnold
Tales from a Chessboard
“It’s not fair. I don’t wanna be a prawn.”
“It’s pawn.”
“Whatever. I wanna be a castle. Or a horsie. At least I have… insurance.”
“Whaddya mean, insurance?”
“Well, Barry… watch out! Incoming bishop!”
“Aaaaargh!”
“Ouch. Tough break. I would’ve expected better from a man of god – what did Barry ever do to you, your reverence?”
“He opposed my Master, the Golden-Eyed Bounteous Magnificence, as do you. Your fate is sealed, insignificant one.”
“Big talk! Well, my Master, the Squinty-Eyed Cheating Asshat, kitted me out with a machine gun.”
Rat-a-tat-a-tat!
“I win! All hail the prawns.”
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Friday Fictioneers
draliman on life 
Nice personification of chess pieces..They were originally based on royalty anyway
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Thanks! I’d never really thought about it but that makes sense.
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Most entertaining chess match I’ve ever watched, that’s for sure!
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Suspense, posturing, murder, it has it all!
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Surreal, or so real? I’ll just go and check, mate!
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Haha “check, mate” groan 🙂
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Oh cool! You got yourself one of those fully loaded American chess sets!
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It was tricky getting it through Customs but worth it!
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Ha ha ha, why didn’t we have games of chess like that when we were young(er)?
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It would have made we Chess Club members way cooler, that’s for sure!
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You’ve opened up a whole new vision of chess. Loved this take on the photo prompt!
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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It’s pretty scary when you examine the pawn’s eye view 🙂
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At least the game was over quickly. I do hate those long, drawn out affairs…
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Yes, all that to-ing and fro-ing. Very boring. A short, sharp strike was definitely what was needed.
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Prawns! HAHAHAHA! Mermaid-approved!
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Hee, I couldn’t ask for a higher endorsement 🙂 I feel I should have a little “Mermaid-approved” badge for my sidebar!
I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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This was the most fun I’ve had participating in a chess match… ‘Course, you had to go all ‘Murican on us… 😉
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These prawns can go to any convenience store and walk out ten minutes later with a missile launcher. There ought to be a law… 😉
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There ought to be indeed…😁
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Ha! caught you taking a peek at my blog… because you left a trace, thank you for the like. Did you run away screaming or just meh ’tis nary for me. If you want to know why I peppered your posts with some likes and followed you, it is because I love your spin on things, and guffawed out loud a few times.
I enjoyed this post too, very much once I’d gotten over a hurdle my mind plopped down – I read ‘cheeseboard’ instead of ‘chessboard’ and ‘prawns’ made more sense than pawns, but still what was a prawn doing on a cheeseboard?
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Thanks, I’m glad you’re enjoying my little stories 🙂 I followed you just now – I’m usually quicker at sorting these things out but we recently had loads of mail and websites blocked at work 😦 so I have to monitor everything on my phone, and being of an age group which remembers carrier pigeons (not really) it’s a struggle.
I really loved your comic strip “Narcie the Narcissist” – very funny and true-to-life 🙂
Of course, I had to rush to my blog to make sure I hadn’t mis-typed “chessboard”…
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I am of an age group which remembers the days when African swallows delivered coconuts, so I may be a tad older than you and this thing known as a phone doesn’t make as good a horse as the empty husks.
It was only after I had commented that it struck me that I probably shouldn’t have commented (twas ever thus), at least not in the way that I did. I sounded like I was press ganging you into following me, my apologies, however thank you very much for the follow (you can unfollow now, I won’t notice, I was never very good at playing grandmother’s footsteps when I was it).
Sorry about the cheeseboard thing, I have dyslexia, and when I’m tired it increases its shenanigans and reading becomes a series of farcical misunderstandings (reading the news can be hilarious… but I really shouldn’t be laughing).
Don’t worry, I only comment sporadically on other people’s blogs. I prefer to just read and like what I read and like. I can do normal comments sometimes, but it requires that I pretend I’m normal and that is a bit trial and error.
Thank you for liking Narcie, she is a bit special… she wouldn’t like knowing that you laughed at her so I won’t tell her 😉 but I’m very chuffed about it!
Nice to blog-meet you, you have a wonderful online home 🙂
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I didn’t feel press-ganged at all! And I read on your blog earlier that you have dyslexia – I wouldn’t have joked about you misreading it if I’d read that beforehand… but anyhew. We’re both following each other, cool, it’s all good 🙂
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It’s all good 🙂 and that includes making jokes about me misunderstanding things – I make those all the time, jokes about my misunderstandings and misunderstandings. I have dyslexia not a humour lobotomy, and it makes me laugh so you can laugh too and I won’t get all huffy and puffy and blow your house down (please do not apply this to others because I can’t speak for them even though I did once want to be a ventriloquist)! You worry a lot… I used to do that too and made blogging a nightmare and a chore for myself. You can pretty much say anything to me and I’ll be … how do you do that sunglasses emoji? Anyway, all’s well 😀
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although sometimes I miss it when someone is being funny and waggling a witty repartee at me because I was away with the fairies and… oh look sparklies 😉
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such a creative take on the prompt. i saw the pieces did come alive.
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And you saw one get killed too 🙂
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I’m definitely down with the prawns.
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Prawns rock!
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Nice story. Love talking pieces.
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked my talking chess pieces!
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Dear Ali,
This sounds like it could be Chess meets Battleship. A very entertaining Chess match to be sure. I love where your crazy mind takes you. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
My mind does go a bit crazy sometimes. I blame the photo prompts 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!
Ali
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A right royal bunch of shenanigans. I love wacky so I loved it!
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There was all sorts of craziness going on 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!
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I would love to have witnessed that match! Delightfully different.
Click to read my FriFic tale!
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It was fun to watch, to be sure!
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Now if there were prawns at every chess match I might be inclined to show up. They would have to be free though so I could grab and go before the gunfight ensued. Very entertaining take on the prompt.
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Just don’t mix them up with the pawns or you’ll chip your teeth 🙂
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Squinty-Eyed Cheating Asshat!! Has a lovely ring to it!
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Yeah, I thought you’d like that 🙂
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I did!! 🙂
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So much packed in!
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It was all happening on the board this week!
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Humor is tough to do well said and I enjoyed yours a lot !
Thanks for the smiles
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Thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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Great fun. All hail the Prawns!
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Yay, that’s exactly the kind of support the prawns need!
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Wait a second… is that a real machine gun? No blood was shed, I hope. Chess is certainly not worth dying for!
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It is if you’re a prawn!
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I can see this also as a prawn knowing that he’s really a lobster.
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And now he’s taking control, as lobsters do.
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Such a delightful take on the prompt – except the murder part but that’s what happens when prawns are left to their own devices.
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Give a prawn a machine gun, bloodshed, every single time…
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Well that take certainly brings the game to life. Very amusing
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Chess with a twist!
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Hmmm, interesting chess set. Your dialogue was delightful, I’m not sure about the machine gun (haha) but a very creative tale indeed.
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I was having trouble finishing the story off 🙂 I’m glad you liked it, machine gun notwithstanding!
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This was the most fun game of chess I have ever read.
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It was pretty exciting, wasn’t it? 🙂
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Hi, Draliman, yup, it’s me again, I’ve nominated you for a Liebster Blog Award. You can join in, ignore, use the questions as a writing prompt, spin it however your genius chooses.
Here’s the link to the post: https://anupturnedsoul.wordpress.com/2018/11/07/the-liebster-award-2018-discover-new-blogs/
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I don’t usually do awards things but since you gave me such a lovely write-up I feel moved to participate… 🙂
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See now this is why I don’t play chess. Just too boring.
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Nothing ever seems to happen…
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