draliman on life

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What traditional Christmas decoration is actually a parasitic plant?
Tinsel. It eats away at your very soul even as it beautifies your tree.

No, that doesn’t sound right. Mistletoe, then.

Name something about this holiday season (whatever version you may celebrate) that most people like, but you dislike?
Mince pies. They’re full of mincemeat. I like mince. I like meat. Mincemeat is neither of those things. Mince pies promise both but don’t deliver. Damn you, stupid lying Christmas snacks.

What’s your favourite – or least favourite – song sung traditionally at this time of year?
On the radio and in supermarkets you can’t escape Jona Lewie’s “Stop the Cavalry”, from December 1980. It’s not Christmas until Jona Lewie fires up. It’s a real traditional Christmas song, all about being stuck in the trenches during the war and not being able to get home for Christmas.

Actually – it’s not really a Christmas song at all, is it. Hey hum.

In the song “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer,” what “incriminating” evidence was found on Grandma’s back?
I’m vaguely aware of the song, I think it’s an American favourite. Given the title, I’m going to go with reindeer hoof prints.

Finally: What would you like to share with the world, if time or cost were no object?
I would like to share my plan for the end of violence. Everyone would get a games console and would shoot each other online instead. And if people got bored and decided to try some real-world violence, they would find that months of sitting on the couch eating snacks and playing games had eroded their health to the point that they were no longer capable of hurting anybody.

I have written to the UN but have sadly received no response.

Merry Christmas, everybody 🙂