FF – Prayers to the Dark Lord
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. The photo was contributed by Randy Mazie.
Since it’s a reboot photo from July 2013 I was going to just rewrite my story from last time but it appears I joined the FF crew in August 2013. So thinking cap on!
Copyright Randy Mazie
“Consult the Satanists’ Handbook. Midnight?”
“Check.”
“Graveyard?”
“Check.”
“Goat?”
Bleat.
“Check.”
“Ceremonial Dagger of the Night Mother?”
“Check. What’s next… chant prayer to Dark Lord, use ceremonial dagger, have goat for dinner.”
Bleeeeat.
“Hand me the dagger.”
Bleeeeeeeeeeeat!
Twenty minutes later…
“Seems weird using a ceremonial dagger to make sandwiches. More mayo?”
“Please.”
“Never had a goat over for dinner either. More sandwich, goat?”
Bleat!
“I can’t help thinking we’re doing this wrong.”
“Yeah. I always thought Satanism would involve more blood. Like a sacrifice or… oh.”
Bleeeat?
“Hey ho, it should have been more explicit, crappy instructions. Pass the salt.”
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Friday Fictioneers
draliman on life 
Never trust that kind of job to amateurs
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If this was their initiation I’m guessing they failed.
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horror’s not what it used to be
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It’s much too sanitised these days. Heaven forfend we should slightly startle someone.
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LOL! Yep, some manuals are just too ‘intuitive’ … 😉
Fun!
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The last manual I had was all little pictures and arrows. I couldn’t understand any of it 😦
I’m glad you liked my story 🙂
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🙂
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The goat understood but didn’t let on. At least he got a final meal?
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The goat survived, thankfully! And had a nice sandwich too.
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And after dinner they went to a goat yoga class. 🙂
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Oh boy, I just Googled it for a laugh and “goat yoga” actually exists. Whatever next? 🙂
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Wh foots the bill Y?
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or even ….who foots the bill y?
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Well, in response to another comment I just discovered that “goat yoga” is a real thing and in the pictures I saw the goat was standing on a person’s back, so maybe the billy gets to the do the footing!
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Good for the goat… thanks for crappy instructions
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The first time crappy instructions have proved a positive thing.
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This made me laugh. You are so good at that! Thanks. (Lucky goat.)
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Lucky goat indeed. I’m glad you liked it!
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I much prefer a well-fed goat!
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They may well be inadvertently fattening him up for the next group!
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I’ll summon Zeeba over to show them how it should be done…..
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Every dark occultist group needs a Zeeba to show them how it’s done…
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Ha ha ha! At least they came back home with a new BFF!
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Yep! I wonder how the rest of their group will react when they come back with goat in tow!
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Hahaha. I had almost concluded that the goat was for the dinner table. Great story.🙂
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Yes, I used the double meaning of “have for dinner” 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!
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Sounds like fun. This might tempt me to try satanism sometime 🙂
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But only if you find one of these idiot groups 🙂
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Idiots? Don’t worry about that. I am one. (And I guess that’s good, for a start) 🙂
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I’m sure you’re not, but these guys do seem like fun. Midnight picnic!
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Dear Ali,
You always brighten my days with your fractured stories. 😀 Bleating with delight.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Hee, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
Ali
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You surpassed yourself this week. I was waiting for the tomato ketchup…
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Not this week! Just a quiet midnight picnic, two men and a goat 🙂
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Brilliant fun, Ali!
You never disappoint…
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Hee, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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Absolutely!
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ino blood, no mess. i guess it was a good start. 🙂
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Maybe it’s the new type of modern Satanist. All nice and clean and free from any controversial rites 🙂
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If they get a second chance, “Run goat, run!” If Satan is recruiting them as helpers, his standards have slipped.
— Suzanne
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He’s letting just anyone on these days 🙂
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😀 — Suzanne
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This was funny. Goats eating sandwiches,, come on!!
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Goats eat anything 🙂
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Ha! Ha! They need to Goat their act together.
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Ha ha groan 🙂
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People seldom read instructions properly, especially the small print part. Luckily for the goats though.
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Yes, very lucky for the goat. He had a nice picnic instead 🙂
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Well, the goat had a pretty good day, anyway 🙂
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It was a very nice night out for the goat 🙂
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I think the goat should eat the handbook, just to be on the safe side.
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Ha ha, that would certainly be a wise move on the goat’s part 🙂
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I’m just so happy for the goat! Fun read.
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He dodged a bullet there 🙂
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Hilarious!
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I’m glad you liked it!
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You’ve made PETA (and not the sandwiches) so happy!
Check!
Randy
(great goat’s tale!
loved the mayo…)
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Yay! No goat slaughter today! I’m glad you liked it.
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Happy New Year! Bringing new taste and flavour in your life!
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And to you, thanks!
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Yay for the goat! 🙂
I’m glad for the goat’s sake that they didn’t use the Satanists’ handbook for dummies.
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Yes, I reckon even these two would have understood the instructions in there 🙂
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Haha! That was a surprise! Satanism is quite complicated to grasp sometimes…
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There are so many rules and the instructions are rubbish.
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