FF – Snowflake Patrol
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Jean L. Hays.
I’m thinking this bunch of whingy whiners are never going to be elite troops…
Copyright Jean L. Hays
“Target ahead. Silent protocol.”
“Right-oh, Sarge!”
“Shhh!”
“Jeez.”
“Barbed wire. Snips, now.”
…
“Snips? Anyone?”
…
“Oh, for… slip underneath.”
“…ow! I caught my finger…”
“Shhh!”
“…aw, man, I got cow poo on my uniform.…”
“…I know a good dry cleaner….”
“…what about my finger? I’m bleeding out….”
“…Sarge, I knelt in a puddle, my Mum’s gonna kill me…”
“WILL THE LOT OF YOU SHUT UP?! THEY’RE GONNA HEAR…”
BANG!
“Aw, man. Poor Sarge.”
“…now I’ve got blood on my uniform… blood and poo…”
“This is too stressful. Let’s evac home.”
“…and don’t think you’re coming in the chopper covered in poo…”
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Friday Fictioneers
draliman on life 
Considering that it’s a military tale, it must be something It must be either Beetle Bailey or Gomer Pyle, because it’s most certainly not so realistic.
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No, definitely not realistic.
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Very aptly named. I.n fact, Flake patrol would even do. Or Marshmallow Squad.
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Ha, I like Marshmallow Squad!
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I’m convinced of the authenticity!
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Possibly I’m being a bit hard on the Snowflake Generation…
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I think not!
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🙂
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Dad’s Army at its finest. Not quite a crack unit! 🙂
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No, not quite 🙂
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Nope these are not elite… but I think it also proves that Darwin was wrong… it’s not survival of the fittest (poor sarge)
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Sadly Sarge’s sense of duty to his men overrode his sense of self-preservation 😦
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I’m afraid they’ll lose the war 😀
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I think you’re right!
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We may as well raise the white flag now! 😀
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Good idea – before they whinge us into submission 🙂
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Bunch of poo.
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And covered in it too.
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Sounds legit … 😉
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Based on a real story… 🙂
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Millenials in the Military. Accurate!
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That would be a good documentary title!
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Thanks. I like the title you gave it 🙂
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Ah, ha, ha. And you mean they actually gave these guys live ammunition? Let’s try wooden guns for a while. I hope poor Sarge just got a flesh wound. Hilarious, Ali. 😀 — Suzanne
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I suppose it’s possible that Sarge only got a flesh wound… 🙂
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Our future in their hands… Nice one
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A sobering thought!
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Haha this reminded me of the web series Red vs Blue.
I liked the use of font size – different but effective.
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Thanks, I ummed and aahed for ages about that, but wanted to try to represent “background mumbling” 🙂
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Military training obviously ain’t what it used to be!
‘Retribution’, my short story.
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Even the military has to move with the times…
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Somehow I imagined a troop of Boy Scouts then Sarge got shot and I changed my mind, Love the poo part.
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Ha, yes, that would have been a Scout camping trip with a twist 🙂
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Like a modern day “F Troop,” an old t.v. show from the 60’s. Entertaining as always! 🙂
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I’ve not seen that but I can imagine it now 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!
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At least they’ll all get medals for their bravery since everyone in the Snowflake Patrol gets a medal to keep things fair…
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Heaven forfend one should get a bigger medal than the others. Even if they are for “deferred success”.
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They know they’re adults in a war, right? Ha.
I also like the font size. Didn’t get it at first, but then I did. Great job.
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Thanks, the font thing was a bit of an experiment.
I don’t think the gravity of the situation has quite registered with them yet…
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Good stuff, i wondered of it could be children playing army and worrying about what their mum may say when they get home later, but i suspect its Dad’s army!!
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Yep, pretty close to Dad’s Army! I’m glad you liked it.
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War is such a dirty affair.
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Yes, all the mud and puddles…
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Love the dialogue – I could see all the snowflake boys, stumbling and moaning. Nicely done.
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Thanks, I’m glad you were able to visualise their little escapade 🙂
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So good, Ali! I, too, loved the used of the different sized fonts to express yelling vs whispering…
Poo and blood can be so hard to wash out…
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His mum’s not going to be happy when he turns up at the weekend with his laundry. Especially since he’s all grown up now…
I’m glad you liked it!
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Oh my goodness! I read this to my husband, a 22-year veteran of the Army Reserve, and he totally cracked up. Says he’s glad he retired before he had to deal with anything like that 🙂
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I’m glad you both enjoyed it! Times have changed 🙂
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This gave me a laugh!
Poor Sarge!
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Yes, the poor guy. What a platoon to be lumbered with 🙂
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Too funny! And probably close to what a draft would dredge up in this day and age….
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Maybe that’s the reason they stopped National Service (in the UK). I’m glad you liked it!
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Carton War, it’s a dirty life.
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And that’s even before you reach your target.
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Cartoon War, sorry about the spelling.
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Ah ha! I even Googled “Carton War” in case it was a 60s TV programme I hadn’t heard of (several people have mentioned old army comedies…)
It’s really annoying that you can’t edit your own comments on WP – I’m forever clicking the button and wishing I’d checked first.
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Dear Ali,
Military discipline at its (not so) finest. You made me laugh.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
They could certainly do with some time digging latrines and thinking about what they’ve done. I’m glad you liked it!
Ali
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Ha! Ha! So believable but probably fictional cos nobody updated their facebook status or posted to instagram #war #soldiers #SargeHit #BarbedWires
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I can imagine them live-tweeting an account of the mission… 🙂
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These can’t be grown men. No one over age ten says”poo”. 😉
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I think the Snowflake Generation do 🙂
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Well..at least they’re still alive…MOL 😀 Clean Pawkisses🐾😽💞
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Most of them, anyway 🙂
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That was a good laugh! hehe!
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I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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Beatle Bailey would fit right in!
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I Googled him in response to another comment, I think you’re right!
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Quite an accurate picture. And of course, there is always a ‘poor Sarge’ on the receiving end…
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Yes, poor guy. He tried…
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