FF – Vampires!
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Dale Rogerson.
Sorry, but if you post a photo of garlic, how can I not think “vampire”?
Crash!
“Argh! How did you get in? Uninvited? Past the garlic? In the middle of the day?”
“Umm…”
“You blood-drinking nightcrawlers, you should be bursting into flames!”
“Ah, I see what’s happening here. Eh, lads?”
Yeah! Ha! Happens all the time!
“We’re not vampires, dude!”
“You’re… not?”
“No! Wow, this is embarrassing! So sorry, mate!”
“I just thought… with all the bodies recently… drained of blood…”
“No! Jeez. You thought… no! No, we’re a homicidal blood cult.”
“Oh, phew… wait… what, now?”
Slice! Swish! Spurt!
“I can’t believe he thought… aw, never mind. Everyone remember to bring their ritual mugs?”
Slurp
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Friday Fictioneers
draliman on life 
At least with vampires he would have got immortality.
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Very true. Not his day, is it?
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Dear Ali,
Bring out the garlic! Oh sounds like it’s too late for that.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Yes, a self-defence class would have been more useful.
Ali
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Such a terrible misunderstanding! Glad they got it sorted out though. 😂
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Me too, that could have gotten nasty… oh, wait 🙂
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What a social faux pas
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I know! Vampires indeed. That’s what you get when you make snap judgements.
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I’d probably think of food.
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Me too! Juicy humans 🙂
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Time gentlemen please, it’s 10 o’clock!
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We gotta get home, dude, we’re looking at a big fine here…
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Once again, I am embarrassed at how much I laughed! 😀
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I laughed too 🙂
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Superstitions can only take you that far.
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Yep, then it turns out to be your common or garden homicidal humans.
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Now that’s what I call horribly funny!
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Exactly what I was going for, thanks 🙂
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Oh no!!
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Oh yes!
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Whew! What a relief! It’s misunderstandings like that that lead to prejudice and all kinds of horrible things.
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Very true. Poor misunderstand actual vampires. They don’t make nearly as much mess.
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Embarrassing all around, I’m sure, but I can see where there might be a bit of confusion.
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Maybe the blood cult needs to do some sort of publicity campaign. I’m sure that will make the general public feel much better about the whole thing.
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Perhaps they need an image consultant. I mean, Vampires went from ugly and evil, like Nosferatu, to beautiful and sparkling in Twilight. Just good publicity.
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Ha yes, spinning the truth seems to be all the rage these days, I’m sure the right PR company will do wonders for them!
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Only you, D-man, only you 😀
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Only me 🙂
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Gads! Bad tricksters. Somehow this made me smile!
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In their defence, they weren’t actively pretending to be vampires 🙂
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it looks like vampires have some good competition. 🙂
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Yes, they’ll be fighting each other over the dwindling blood supply before long 🙂
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Just what we needed to make 2020 perfect, a blood cult. I wonder if bear traps would work. 😦 — Suzanne
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Might as well get it all done with in the one year 🙂
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Sounds like a typical night out with the lads!
Here’s mine!
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They party hard in those parts! Does anyone remember last night? What’s all this red stuff…
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Oh my!! I think I’d prefer the way of the Vampires 🧛♂️ Heart stopping story!
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Me too. Less messy. But ultimately, just as heart stopping 🙂
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Can you blame him for thinking that? Poor bugger… Hope it went quick
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Seconds, Dale, seconds. Gone before the shock wore off 🙂
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That last word. Why!? You had me until then.
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Zeeba would like to know if there are any openings in this cult…
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I was thinking of Zeeba as I wrote the last sentences. I’m sure they have room for such an enthusiastic member!
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Loved the ‘slurpy’ tale!
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I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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It would have been better they’d been vampires. You do a fantastic job with dialogue. Very entertaining.
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At least with vampires there’s less mess and the possibility to join them afterwards 🙂 I’m glad you enjoy my dialogue!
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Gross! The poor guy was tricked fairly easily though! Does that mean he deserves to have his blood drinken? Lol.
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Yeah, he’s a real “sucker”… no, wait, that’s the other guys 🙂
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Bahahaha!
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Sounds like a B Horror Movie – The Return of the Aztec Cult – A two hour adventure of Dude’s searching for the ultimate taste – O negative rating.
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Ha ha, it does! My first screenplay!
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Gah. Somehow, the “blood cult” seems even worse.
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It does. Vampires are drinking to survive, this bunch is just nuts.
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On the whole, I’d go for the vampires, I think.
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Me too. They have a much more “romantic” feel to them!
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Ha ha ! I never realised that life was so cut-throat in the Twilight Zone.
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Yes, vampires are definitely preferable to members of a homicidal blood cult, though I don’t suppose there’s much to tell them apart, unless the fangs – or slashing blades – come out. A gruesomely bloodthirsty and funny story.
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At least with vampires you (traditionally) get a nice night out and a bit of seduction before they rip into you 🙂
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Details might change but the ending is the same!
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It wasn’t going end well for him either way 🙂
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D’oh, he’s defended himself against the wrong threat. Still he’ll remember next time…oh hang on. Funny as usual, Draliman
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Sadly not a learning experience!
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Nice! Enjoyed reading it!
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Thanks I’m glad you liked it!
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*gulp*…not enough garlic, I suppose…MOL😸More Pawkisses🐾😽💞
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You can never have enough garlic, I reckon 🙂
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“Slice! Swish! Spurt!” No trigger warning??
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Um… Warning, this story could cause nausea, disgust and/or disgusting nausea. There you go! Um.
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Much better. 😊 (Disgusting nausea… ha!)
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