FF – Jinks and Simmons in – Crack Down!
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Dale Rogerson.
And now on BBC One, popular 70s police drama “Jinks and Simmons”.
(Cue cheesy 70s opening titles)
“Jinks, look at this.”
“Fairy lights?”
“Bastards. Sick, sick bastards. Break it down.”
“POLICE! NOBODY MOVE! You – name!”
“Um, Mr Wilberforce. This is my wife.”
“What’s the date, Mr Wilberforce? THE DATE, MAN!”
“Um, November 13th?”
“CORRECT! November! And what are these?”
“Um, Christmas lights. We, um, love Christmas.”
“Jinks, arrest them for offences contrary to the Misuse of Holidays Act (1697). Too early for fairy lights, Mr Wilberforce! Get these sick bastards out of my sight.”
“Sick, sick bastards.”
(Cue cheesy 70s end credits)
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Friday Fictioneers
draliman on life 
Heh. Unlike me, my husband would vote for such Christmas policing! 😂 I’ll take my chances and keep pushing for an early Christmas tree and “fairy lights” though.
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Don’t tell Jinks and Simmons 🙂
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I agree with the police, although they will have a busy November if they hope to round up everyone with early decorations up this year!
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I’m sure Jinks and Simmons are equal to the task. For Simmons, it’s personal (for whatever reason)!
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😀 I wonder what they do to the people who leave their lights up all year long…….
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It’s better we don’t know… 😮
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I just hope the lockdown lasts so the carol singers can’t start going door-to-door in two weeks time
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“Aw, Boris, just two more weeks, please…”
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Hooray, Simmons!
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The People’s hero!
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Viva Bah Humbug!
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Hear hear!
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Ha ha – my feelings exactly! Loved your inventive take on the photo prompt. 🙂
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Simmons has Right on his side 🙂
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hey it’s about time they started cracking down upon the real troublemakers
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Exactly, let’s wash away the prematurely-decorating riff-raff.
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There are restrictions around here.
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Restrictions on putting up early decorations? Nice!
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Ordinarily I’d be ticked off when stores put up Christmas decorations and trees in mid October, but this year the earlier the better I say. But I draw the line when they start putting Easter eggs, hot cross buns and fruit mince pies out in November. Jinks and Simmons can go suck on a lemon 😀 😀 😀
A true D-man tale though 😉
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They’d rather have a mince pie (if mince pies on November weren’t contrary to the Misuse of Holidays Act (1697)) 🙂
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LOL (confidentially between you and me, I’d eat a mince pie for morning tea any day) 😀
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Those police seem somewhat edgy. At least they didn’t start shooting. 😦 — Suzanne
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Fortunately they’re British police, so they don’t have guns 🙂
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Wish it were so, kinda. Our neighbor’s have their lawn so full of lights we can’t sleep. Had to buy ‘blocker’ curtains.
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I have neighbours like that but fortunately they face the side of the house. The week before Christmas, that’s when decorations should go up. Otherwise it’s not special 😦
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Christmas lights in November!?!? Really, the nerve of some people. Don’t they know Valentine’s season has already arrived and there should be cutout paper hearts in the windows…
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Valentine’s is so October. I’m stocking up on Easter eggs…
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There better still be some left when I do my Easter shopping in December!
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Doubtful. The early squirrel catches the nut…
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i looks like these cops having too much time in their hands. 🙂
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This is important work, it’s the new initiative 🙂
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Mine are going up early this year and I don’t care!
Here’s mine!
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Ooh, you rebel, you!
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Dear Ali,
Aack! I hope I’m not in violation for posting this photo. I thought we needed something cheery.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Simmons believes that November is too early for cheery 😦 He’s a bit of a killjoy 🙂
Ali
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I don’t like the way the stores start pushing Christmas before Halloween, but I dislike more the idea of a law against it being enforced.
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Yes, it should be the weight of public opinion which stops this nonsense in its tracks 🙂
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Christmas before Thanksgiving *is* criminal!
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I just Googled Thanksgiving and it appears to be late November, so that does sound like the sort of appropriate date to start thinking about Christmas!
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Every year Christmas gets pushed earlier and earlier. Soon it will be before Halloween (Guy Fawkes in your neck of the woods if your neck of the woods is the UK.)
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Don’t tell Jinks and Simmons, but I’m putting up my tree tomorrow! Very creative, Ali!
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Tomorrow? TOMORROW? I’ll try to keep quiet about it, but that Simmons is like a dog with a bone… 🙂
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I can only imagine the raids on Rite Aid. …
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I just Googled that – it’s a pharmacy in the USA which also seems to sell Christmas decorations? Well, Jinks and Simmons will soon put a stop to that nonsense 🙂
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LOL. Yes. It is ‘drug store’ in America, which sell a lot more than just medications. It is also a sort of convenience store, with snacks, staple foods, greeting cards, candy and … yes … ‘seasonal items’ (which seem to predate the season in several months … ) 😉
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What sick, sick bastards lol. Festive fun!
We had stores start with Christmas September one year. It didn’t go well. Supermarkets have started selling hot cross buns on Boxing Day, that sends people mental.
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I reckon it takes all the fun and “specialness” out of Christmas. By the time actual Christmas Day comes I’m usually sick of it all.
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Never heard of that Act. there are a few people here with their Christmas Tree already lit up. Please send the Police.
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Not only up but lit? They’re on their way 🙂
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Blue lights coming up the street. Thanks.
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They’re definitely not doing their job very well. The shops get away with anything. Anything, I say!
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Jinks and Simmons, burst onto action!
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I’m with them! Not before December 1st!
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The weekend before Christmas, I’m thinking…
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I think I’m with the force on this one. It is Novemeber and Christmas stuff of any description in November is sick! Sick, I tell you.
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We should team up with Jinks and Simmons!
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I wouldn’t mind a mince pie, especially with a nice dollop of brandy butter. But don’t bother the cops – I had one left over from Guy Fawkes night!
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Left over from Guy Fawkes night? A likely story… 🙂
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Fun story! November is a bit early, isn’t it?
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Horribly early, I reckon!
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Gritty and true to the genre! 😜
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They’re your typical no-nonsense cops 🙂
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