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FF – Missing

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Lisa Fox.

Copyright Lisa Fox

I wonder what’s in there? thought the little boy as he wandered past. The doors and windows were barred, stopping him getting in. Sometimes he thought he heard noises inside, a voice maybe. He had asked, but his Dad told him it was just his imagination.

There was nothing in there.

I wonder what’s out there? thought the little girl as she sat in the dark. The doors and windows were barred, stopping her getting out. Sometimes, she thought she heard noises outside, a voice maybe. She had asked, but the Man told her it was just her imagination.

There was nothing out there.

  1. March 9, 2022 at 4:09 pm

    Awesome story! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. March 9, 2022 at 4:27 pm

    One of your best stories!

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 10, 2022 at 2:46 pm

      But… but… it wasn’t wackily funny… 😉
      Thanks, I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. March 9, 2022 at 4:42 pm

    A good one, this. I liked the symmetry of it

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 10, 2022 at 2:46 pm

      THhanks, I edited it around to get the two paragraphs as similar as possible.

      Like

  4. March 9, 2022 at 5:33 pm

    A lovely mirroring of curiosity, and adult suppression, with the added twist that somethign very sinister might be going on…

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 10, 2022 at 2:49 pm

      Yes, I can’t help thinking something sinister is definitely going on.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. March 9, 2022 at 8:24 pm

    Oh dear! Beautifully done, Alistair. And hopefully, one day, the boy will be able to convince someone to go and see…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. March 9, 2022 at 8:34 pm

    Very nice!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. March 9, 2022 at 8:55 pm

    Oh wow, that gives me the goosebumps. I pray one hears the other and they become the best of friends.

    Like

  8. March 9, 2022 at 8:56 pm

    So many questions, so many possibilities. Do you need an agent? I’m very cheap!

    Like

  9. March 9, 2022 at 11:16 pm

    Goosebumpy. Your story is like being inside a kaleidescope. Which is real? Is either real? Is neither real? Are both real? Such dizzying beauty 😍👏🏻🥰

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Michael Humphris
    March 10, 2022 at 12:52 am

    A powerful piece of writing, one that makes me think… very well told

    Liked by 1 person

  11. March 10, 2022 at 3:27 am

    Oh, so creepy. I may have nightmares about this one. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 10, 2022 at 3:13 pm

      Ooh noo, no nightmares please!
      Thanks 🙂

      Like

  12. March 10, 2022 at 3:42 am

    This is such a superb write. I LOVE it. It’s a great story that could be longer.
    Nicely done …

    Liked by 1 person

  13. March 10, 2022 at 10:38 am

    Certainly one of your best. Terrific.

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 10, 2022 at 3:23 pm

      Thanks! I have interspersed some more serious ones among the wacky comedy recently.

      Like

  14. March 10, 2022 at 12:32 pm

    Dear Ali,

    I echo Sandra. This is one of you best…possibly the best I’ve read from you. Bravo!

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 10, 2022 at 3:26 pm

      Dear Rochelle,
      Thanks! This doesn’t mean I’m ditching the wacky comedy, though… 😉
      Although I have been quite overwhelmed by the lovely comments.
      Ali

      Liked by 1 person

  15. March 10, 2022 at 2:03 pm

    I agree with your commenters, I don’t even have a smartass comment this time. Great story!

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 10, 2022 at 3:28 pm

      Aw, man! You may lose the top spot as “smartass commenter” at this rate…
      I’m glad you liked it anyway!

      Like

  16. March 10, 2022 at 2:04 pm

    Mysterious views from both sides. this creates wonderful possibilities for stories ahead!

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 10, 2022 at 3:28 pm

      Yes – who knows what is really going on here…

      Liked by 1 person

      • March 10, 2022 at 3:50 pm

        yes, an young girl who seems to be prisoner. a boy yearning for adventure. You got a great tale waiting to be written here.

        Liked by 1 person

  17. March 10, 2022 at 4:48 pm

    Mind boggling.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. March 11, 2022 at 1:20 am

    i wonder how long it would take for the truth to come out. i’m waiting with bated breath.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. March 11, 2022 at 8:24 am

    Scary story Draliman, but well made up😸Pawkisses for a Happy Weekend🐾😽💞

    Liked by 1 person

  20. March 11, 2022 at 12:45 pm

    I recall such thoughts about so many buildings as a child. When I was teen, I went about discovering the answers. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 11, 2022 at 4:48 pm

      Ha! I bet you didn’t find anything sinister, though. Quite disappointing I expect 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  21. March 11, 2022 at 7:26 pm

    Fearsome thriller, and in many case close to the truth.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. March 11, 2022 at 10:11 pm

    What a chiller! Great construction, using mirror paragraphs – that was really appropriate and powerful for the story you were telling. As others have said, that’s probably your best FF story yet.
    I look forward to more i future.
    PS But don’t abandon wacky humour altogether…

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 13, 2022 at 6:23 am

      Thanks so much! Don’t worry, I’m sure the wacky humour will be back 🙂

      Like

  23. March 12, 2022 at 10:38 pm

    Very good. The voices, the tone, create an impression of upbeat lightness on the surface which belies what’s really going on in the shed. The repeated paragraphs with their subtle shifts in viewpoint set up a sinister echo. I feel for the little boy, with such a father.

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 13, 2022 at 6:24 am

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked it! I also fear for the little girl, under the thumb of the “Man” 😮

      Liked by 1 person

  24. March 13, 2022 at 5:20 pm

    Great story, the ‘symmetry ‘ of the boy and the girl , it works so well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 13, 2022 at 5:35 pm

      Thanks, I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Like

  25. Lyn
    March 14, 2022 at 3:11 am

    I’m hoping the little boy will do something about it when he’s not so little. I see a hero in the making. Great story, Ali 👍

    Liked by 1 person

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