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FF – The Dangers of Philosophy

August 8, 2018 84 comments

Here is my story (it’s not really a story) for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Ronda Del Boccio. I’m still too tired to think of anything funny so I wrote this instead 😦

 

Everything’s a matter of perspective. A point of view. Is that building small or just far away? Is that man mugging that little old lady or trying to stop her falling?

Who can know?

Is this life real? Are we in someone else’s dream? When we touch something, is it really there or is our brain trying to fool us into thinking we really exist?

All these things Brandon pondered until, finally, he winked out of existence, wiped from history.

Such is the danger of philosophy. Don’t overthink. Lest you cease to be.

If you really be at all.

 

Correct Me Not

August 5, 2018 20 comments

There’s no official Share Your World this week as Cee is taking a little holiday, so I thought I’d publish a little story that I wrote last week. I was thinking about all the words and phrases we say which aren’t technically correct (but usually sound better), and how some (most!) people really don’t like to be corrected 🙂

 

“Goodness, David, did you see that falling star? Quite a phenomena!”

Phenomenon, darling.”

“What? Fine. Anyway, it seems we see less phenomenons like that every year.”

“Oh, good god. Fewer phenomena.”

“Gahhhh!”

A few days later…

“…as we gather to say goodbye to our dear friend and parishioner David who somehow tragically stabbed himself in the back while clipping his toenails…”

After the service…

“A beautiful service, Vicar, thank you. Oh, will you just look over there. A paparazzi. Disgusting. Don’t they have anything better to do than hang around at funerals?”

Paparazzo, madam. There is only one, therefore the singular form.”

“Gahhhh!”

A few days later…

“… as we gather to say goodbye to our dear friend and vicar who somehow tragically drowned himself in the sink while washing the dishes…”

 

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FF – All That’s Gold Doesn’t Glitter

August 1, 2018 80 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Sandra Crook.

Boy, this week I had to cut out 47 words. And it shows 😦 But I’ve been horribly busy all day and I’m too tired to think. I hope I haven’t insulted Sandra’s gardening supplies.

 

Baz entered his grandfather’s yard. The old coot was dead. Britain’s Most Wanted, he’d called himself. True, the coppers had never found his last heist. So… where to look?

What had grandfather always said? “Tat… or treasure?” And nothing said “tat” quite like old pallets full of weeds and flowerpots. Baz reached in, pulled out a small bag and emptied its contents –  misshapen brown stones – into his hand.

He screamed. “Whaaaat! Old rocks?” Angrily he flung them away. As his car roared off it began to snow, the flakes covering the fortune in uncut diamonds he’d so carelessly discarded.

 

FF – Perfect Town

July 25, 2018 66 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Ted Strutz.

I may be a little late reading stories this week as I’m very busy with work stuff so bear with me. I’m currently typing this on my personal laptop while running something on my work laptop while watching Luke Cage on Netflix. Multitasking is my thing 🙂

Copyright Ted Strutz

 

Frankie smiled as he cast his eyes over the neighbourhood. Gardens, clean and tidy, The road, perfectly maintained, The pavements, pristine, clear of any litter. A small group of people stepping onto the pavement, going… where? To a restaurant, perhaps, or maybe to the marina? Frankie gazed down on his world and it was…

A shadow, falling! Crash! Crunch! Smash!

“Oh, shit. Sorry, kid.”

“Daaaaaad, that was my class project! The perfect town!”

“Don’t worry, son. Grab some papier mache and baking soda, I’ll show you how to make a cool volcano!”

“Aw, hell.”

 

FF – A Hell of a Day

July 18, 2018 58 comments

Here is my little story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Dale Rogerson.

I had to cut 39 words out this week so it’s not quite the epic I initially imagined 😦

Copyright Dale Rogerson

 

Jimbo watched the sun, or what passed for the sun, rising. Everything, as usual, looked a bit grainy. It must be all the sulphur and damnation, he supposed.

Tuesday today. A bit of light torture, lunch, then to finish, something truly horrific.

He’d had a postcard from his mate yesterday. He’d gone “up there”. He was having a marvellous afterlife sitting on a cloud, strumming a harp.

Jimbo hadn’t been a bad man in life. But apparently there was a limit to the number of paper clips you could steal from your place of work and keep your soul intact.

 

FF – Devourers

July 11, 2018 84 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Liz Young.

This story comes with special exclusive bonus content!

Copyright Liz Young

 

Locked in a cage. Swathed in bandages, covering… best not look. A body become toxic waste, ravaged by… see those silken threads?… arachnids of alien origin.

They devour; flesh, bones, organs, brain liquified, not quickly, oh no! slow, painful, excruciating. Is that a house spider above your bed or a devourer of flesh? How to tell?

Or is the scene a student prank? Ill-conceived perhaps, yet ultimately harmless. We choose to believe this so that we may sleep at night, yet wilful ignorance will not save us.

They are coming. They are here. Our end is assured.

 

Spider General

Click here to Fear The Spiders!

 

FF – The Music of Life

June 27, 2018 72 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Rochelle as well!

I popped a little musical glossary at the end in case you know as little about music as me 🙂

 

Bran dropped the duster and stared at the instruments, seeing his life written in music. The ebb and flow of the melody, at times allegro, others adagio. His early years, the rise and swell of a rousing march. The loss of his parents, a slow, melancholy dirge in a minor key.

His adoption by the Maestro? What music represented such misery?

“Bran! Stop dreaming! Clean! Clean, you worthless idiot!”

The belt cracked across his back. He choked back the tears and eyed the tuba, gauging its weight. Truly a blunt instrument.

The music was about to get messily, violently fortissimo.

 

 

allegro: played very quickly
adagio: a slow passage
fortissimo: played very loud

 

FF – Wife Unfazed

June 20, 2018 77 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Fatima Fakier Deria.

 

“Hey, get outta the way! Yes, you! Where’s that horn…”

Whaaaa wha wha whaaaa!

“What you lookin’ at? You wanna piece ‘a me? YOU WANNA PIECE ‘A ME? Thought not. Coming through! Oy, you with the vegetable boat. SHIFT IT! Full speed ahead…”

Smash crunch sink sink sink

“…screw you and your cabbages…”

Meanwhile, below-decks…

“Yes, Dorothy, on the canals… his stress levels? Not noticeably, no… it was supposed to be a de-stresser for top executives, yes… not working, no…”

“Aaaargh!” splash

“…think he’s fallen in… go back for him? No, I don’t think so… much more enjoyable now, yes…”

 

FF – SpyBird

June 13, 2018 72 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Jean L. Hays.

I’m not all that taken with my story this week, it just seems to amble along, but never mind 🙂

Copyright Jean L. Hays

 

Inside the truck, Agent Smith describes his new invention to his superiors…

“There’s SpyBird approaching the house, its cunningly situated head-mounted micro-camera transmitting everything it sees to our monitor. See how it sneaks covertly past the window.”

Inside the drug dealers’ house…

“Hey, there’s a bird flapping around outside the window with a great big camera strapped to its head. Kill it!”

And so Agent Smith’s SpyBird was consigned to the bin of espionage history alongside his equally ill-fated MurderPen, ExplosionSoap and ElectrocutionDoorbell. He later died of massive blood loss following an unfortunate incident during development of his ScissorBladeToiletSeat.

 

Pegman – The Forever Bunker

June 10, 2018 46 comments

Here is a story I wrote for What Pegman Saw, which takes us to Palo Duro State Park in Texas.

I seem to drop in and out of Pegman when the muse takes me and when I have time. Hope that’s okay.

Copyright Erik Rathgaber for Google Maps

 

Jeff checked the environmental seals, as he did every day. The same routine, every day of his life.

Ding dong!

The doorbell! This had never happened before! He ran to the hatch, donned his environmental suit and triggered the release. Outside stood a man… in normal clothes!

“How… how…?”

“Is this bunker 27? What are you all still doing down there? The Earth has been habitable for over 100 years!”

“But… I’ve looked out, every day. There’s nothing… devastation for miles, only scrub…”

“It’s the desert. It’s supposed to look like that.”

“The desert? Why was I not informed?”

“It’s all in the literature.”

“Well, maybe, but who has the time to read all that?”

“Time? Time? You’ve had nothing but time.”

“Hmm. 100 years, you say? I don’t suppose the others’ll be all that happy. Best not tell them. Good day to you.”

Slam.

100 years later…

Ding dong!