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Collect collect collect!

Collectibles. Things sold in sets.

I must admit to a bit of a weakness to such things. Once upon a long ago I collected a full set of plates with cat pictures on them. “Why?” I hear you ask. Because they were there. I think they’re currently in my parents’ attic.

The local supermarket is currently doing a promotion on knives. You get vouchers when you spend a certain amount of money, and then 5 vouchers saves you around 70% per knife. I don’t collect by mail order any more – you can get trapped into those things and never get out. But picking stuff up in a supermarket and handing over vouchers, that’s nice and safe and under my control.

Well, vaguely under my control.

Now, it’s pretty much impossible for me to walk around with a wallet full of money-saving vouchers in my pocket and not use them. It doesn’t really matter whether or not I particularly need the items. Don’t get me wrong, I no longer buy stuff I’ll never use, but take these knives. It’s pretty much a case of “Well they’re sure to come in handy one day”.

I don’t really cook, you see. I’m thinking that maybe now’s the time to start, now that I can get hold of some really cool knives. Up until now I’ve only needed two sharp knives – a little one to cut the cheese to put on top of my pizza and a bigger one to cut the pizza. Now I’ve got knives capable of cutting all sorts of food!

All six knives present and correct, officer!

I now own a total of six, yes SIX steak knives! I haven’t had steak at home for years. So why six steak knives? Obviously I had to get two (they come in sets of two) as they’re part of the collection. There’s also one of those wooden blocks for putting the knives in. And it holds six. So six I had to have. Not only would gaps in the block annoy the hell out of me every time I looked at it, but I’ve seen a bunch of crime shows. If there’s a stabbing and I’ve got a knife missing I’d be well in the frame. Are the police really going to believe that I ran out of vouchers?

I’m currently thinking of buying a massive cabbage, just so I can take my recently acquired cleaver-style knife and hack the living hell out of it.

I guess if nothing else, they’ll look good on the kitchen worktop.

  1. June 10, 2012 at 11:36 am

    …..the quiet ones are the ones to watch!! This is HILARIOUS!! xx


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