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FF – First Date Mishap

October 20, 2021 45 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo appears to be a beautiful painting by Rochelle herself 🙂

“Goodness, a home-cooked meal!”

“I like to make an impression on a first date!”

“I’ll just add a bit of salt, pepper, some ketchup…”

What are you doing.

“Huh?”

You haven’t even tasted it yet.

“I, um…”

“Let me take a quick photo of you (snap) I just need to send a text, one sec…”

tappity tappity here is photo of target tappity tappity usual terms tappity tappity make it look like an accident tappity tap send

“… there we go. So, where were we? You were telling me about your job? It sounds fascinating!”

“Um.”

“Eat up!”

“Um.”

Sharing My World 11-10-2021

October 17, 2021 16 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What is the scariest game (board or on-line) you ever may have played?
That would be “The Last of Us”. One of the best games ever made, but I will never play it again! At one point I actually jumped up off the sofa, I got such a fright.

I’m still trying to work up the courage to play the sequel.

What’s just “over the rainbow” for you?
A pair of weighing scales. That’s what it says in the song, isn’t it? “Somewhere over the rainbow, weigh a pie…

Sorry, that’s a very old joke 😦

Do you have to watch something upbeat after watching a suspense or horror movie so you can go to sleep?
No, I always read some of my book before going to bed so that takes the edge off it. I’m not even sure what constitutes a proper “horror movie” these days anyway, to be honest.

Is there intent behind every action?
No. Sometimes people just act on instinct. Though I suppose that does mean some sort of un-premeditated intent. You sometimes end up with unintended consequences, though.

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FF – Carousel of Doom!

October 14, 2021 53 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Brenda Cox.

I decided to use the American word (carousel) for the merry-go-round/roundabout, though I went for “candyfloss” as I draw the line at “cotton candy”.

Copyright Brenda Cox

The carousel began to spin as the last child clambered aboard. Parents looked on proudly, camera phones at the ready.

Brashnorag looked on, smiling. This was exactly what he’d come up from Hell for.

He snapped his fingers.

The carousel span faster and faster, leaving its once-sedate pace far behind. Children screamed as one by one they flew off.

One landed in a vat of candyfloss. Another in the arms of their parent. Yet another in a sandpit.

An afternoon of “miraculous escapes”.

Brashnarog smiled again. He may be a demon from the pits of Hell, but he wasn’t a complete bastard.

Sharing My World 04-10-2021

October 10, 2021 29 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World. It’s also my birthday today. Happy birthday to me 🙂

How do you feel about sharing your computer or phone password with your partner?
Not a chance, even if I had a partner. Quite apart from the “browser history” issue 🙂 the moment you share anything like that with someone. if anything happens you’re not covered. Like giving someone else your bank card PIN or leaving an emergency house key under the doormat.

What is the greatest struggle you’ve overcome? (This isn’t meant to be invasive, just use general terms if you’d like. Or if not, feel free to pass on the question. That’s allowed too).
There was that one time I had trouble getting my jeans buttoned up after a particularly large meal. (Yes, that means I’m not answering this question!)

If heaven is real and you died tomorrow, do you think you would get in? Why or why not? (this is purely speculation, no bias if you don’t believe)
Yeah, for sure heh heh! But it sounds a bit boring. All clouds and harps and whatnot. I’d rather go to Valhalla or Sto’Vo’Kor. Dead Klingons really know how to party!

What makes you feel like you really need to be alone?
Other people 😮

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FF – Shops of Death

October 7, 2021 44 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Roger Bultot.

Copyright Roger Bultot

“Look at this!”

“Boy, huge glasses. What’s that all about?”

“And all this, what would you call it?”

“Bric-a-brac.”

“Yep, bric-a-brac.”

“Trash.”

“What do they think they’re doing?”

“No idea. In fact, this whole high street is rubbish.”

“It’s a shit street.”

“Every shop a disaster.”

“Let’s go back to the car.”

Bric-a-brac shop calling all shops. We have been dissed. DESTROY THEM!

“Yes, Officer sob sob the shop sign just fell on him sob sob sliced his head clean off sob sob freak accident sob sob

Sharing My World 26-09-2021

October 3, 2021 13 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What’s your favourite way to exercise?
Cycling along on my Wattbike through a landscape on Zwift. Preferably somewhere fairly flat. There’s a lovely island off Japan which sometimes shows up but it’s all hills.

What’s more important to you – family or friends?
Both, of course. Both completely equally. There’s no telling who’s reading this 😮

Have you ever voted for someone (in whatever venue – politics, contests, school elections) based solely on how they looked?
No. All the even vaguely cute politicians stand in constituencies further up country. So I have to fall back on less important things like policies and “what they stand for”. Yaaaawn.

How could carousels be spiced up so they are more exciting?
I guess you could use real horsies. When it starts going round they’ll jump off and run amok, knocking over coconut shies and whatnot. The kids would love it! I expect Health and Safety would knock that one on the head, though.

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FF – The Little Things

September 29, 2021 55 comments

Here is my post for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Dale Rogerson.

I nearly did quite a sombre thoughtful story, but luckily I caught myself just in time!

Copyright Dale Rogerson

“So the cult’s taken over this church?”

“Yes, Sarge.”

“Let’s take a look. See that flash of light in the steeple? Sniper.”

“Good spot, Sarge!”

“And that bump on the roof? Observation post.”

“Nice, Sarge!”

“And the way that tree’s branches aren’t moving with the wind? Hunter’s trap.”

“Wow!”

“Okay, I’m going in!”

Whuuuump! Aaaaargh!

“Ouch. Poor Sarge.”

“What happened, Constable?”

“Sir! It’s weird how the Sarge noticed the little things but not the big picture. Like that huge sign that says ‘Keep out – DANGER – minefield’.”

“Sounds like my wife.”

“Um. ‘Little things’ or ‘danger’, Sir?”

“Both, Constable. Both.”

Sharing My Squirrely World

September 26, 2021 18 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World, with a special bonus question midweek. This week, the questions were posed by various members of the Nest, a place where many wondrous and hideous things can happen!

Chip (a chipmunk)
If you were to be cast as part of a comedy double act, which part would you play…. the straight man or the funny one, and why?

I reckon I’d be good as the straight man. I’m very good at staring straight ahead with an expression on my face which clearly says “who is this fool?”

Buster (the serial death possum)
If you were to be reincarnated on Earth as any non-living/inanimate object of your choosing, what would you come back as and why?

I’d be an internet router. Think of all the secret and damning information I would be privy to that I could use to blackmail people with!

If I wasn’t just an internet router…

Fleabag (the yappy doggie)
We all know how dogs mark their territory. How do you mark your territory?

I piss on everything too.

Shadow (the mysterious other-dimensional being)
If you were on a trivia show and had to correctly answer ten questions in one subject to win a million dollars (or whatever currency is used in your locale), what would you hope the category would be?

From the point of view of winning the money, the life and times of me! Is that allowed? On the other hand, maybe it’s better not to have TV researchers going through the life and times of me with a fine tooth comb…

Uncle Sam (the corrupt politician) (is the word “corrupt” redundant here?)
In democratic societies, do you believe that the right to vote is merely a privilege or a duty for all citizens?

It’s a privilege (and not “merely”). Not voting is still a choice. What’s the point in letting people have a choice in the future if they don’t even have the choice in choosing? Besides, if voter numbers are down, that’s useful information too.

Troll (the dogsbody)
Would you rather have a huge head of hair or be completely bald? No middle ground!

Having seen Troll, I’ll go bald, thanks.

FF – A World of Wonder

September 22, 2021 63 comments

Here is my post for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Liz Young.

Copyright Liz Young

Lights flickering, reflections, so beautiful, so mesmerising. Enticing me from everyday life into another world, a world of light, a world of fascination and wonderment. A world of endless possibilities, a world where I can be who I want to be.

I am removed from this mundane world! Away from crass consumerism! I am a child of light! I am…

… ooh ooh ooh, Trickles Department Store has a two for one on cosmetics! Gotta let everyone know! Twitter, Facebook, Instagram…

Tappity tappity tap…

Now, where was I? Oh yes. A child of light, floating in dreams…

Sharing My World 13-09-2021

September 19, 2021 16 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
I think bazillions of thoughts. I say a fair amount and I do practically nothing.

What does the world need less of?
I’m sure that if we could ask the world itself, the answer would be “people”. For me, it would be caramel and chocolate laced with sea salt. What’s that all about? Disgusting stuff. How dare chocolatiers ruin a nice bit of chocolate like that.

It’s not right.

Do you feel older or younger than your age?
Younger. I don’t really feel any different to when I was much younger. It comes as a shock when I remember how old I really am!

What is a cause you’ll always passionately support?
The Campaign for the Betterment and Enrichment of Me. Yes, it’s a bit self-centred, but hey. So here’s another campaign I’m thinking of getting behind:

The Campaign for the Eradication and Outlawing of Salted Caramel.

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