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Sharing My World 19-08-2019

August 25, 2019 17 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What would be your solution to the over-population of the earth? Earth has finite resources and humanity seems to be breeding themselves to extinction. Some countries have tried restricting the number of children a couple or a person can have, with little success. So what other viable options are there for reducing the number of people?
So many possibilities!

  • It’s self-limiting. Once we run out of resources/room, people will die off naturally until the maximum sustainable limit is reached.
  • Don’t worry, soon we’ll be living on the moon/Mars/in space stations/under-sea cities (delete as applicable).
  • Pop all the worst criminals in a huge compound “Escape From New York” style and let them wipe each other out.
  • Some world leader or other’s going to chuck their toys out of the pram when they discover a country isn’t willing to sell a large part of itself to them on demand and so starts nuclear Armageddon.
  • Some world leader or other’s going to get confused, push the wrong button and accidentally start nuclear Armageddon.
  • Some world leader or other’s going to Tweet the wrong thing to the wrong country and accidentally start nuclear Armageddon.
  • Brexit will be the end of us all.

What’s invisible but you wish people could see?
My personal awesomeness aura.

What’s the most ridiculous fact you know?
I can’t think of any ridiculous facts right now.

What are the unwritten rules of where you work? If you don’t work (retired or unemployed) what are the unwritten rules you live your life by?
Be excellent to each other!

BillAndTed

How do you feel about putting pineapple on pizza?
Just don’t.

Toilet paper, over or under?
Over, obviously. Fortunately I still have the image of the original patent.

Picture via cnet.com, but since it’s a patent I’m assuming it’s public domain

What’s the best type of cheese?
All the types!

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FF – Out of Date

August 21, 2019 61 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Dale Rogerson.

I’m in a weird mood today so here’s a weird story. Click on the froggy to read all the other contributions.

Copyright Dale Rogerson

 

It appears to be a restaurant like any other…

“Superb meal, what-ho?”

“Top hole, don’t’cha know!”

“Ye-dishk’na ga… ulp, I meant, lovely…”

A diner stands and eviscerates the unfortunate. Yellow blood spurts…

… for this “restaurant” lies on a distant planet, a training ground for the infiltration of Earth. A century in preparation. Mistakes will not be tolerated!

They rise, adjust their cravats, top hats and monocles… they appear to be a century out of date! After all that preparation…

When they get to Earth they’ll look like a right load of dozy pillocks.

What a complete bollocks-up.

Invasion… cancelled.

 

Sharing My World 12-08-2019

August 18, 2019 23 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World, featuring a new logo!

What makes you laugh?
Funny stuff. Everything from stuff most people find funny through to stuff many people wouldn’t find funny. Like I was playing the zombie DLC to Far Cry 5 the other day, laughing in joy as I mowed zombies down in a tractor with a thresher on the front. Hilarious. And messy 🙂

What’s the world coming to?
Eeh, bah gum, what’s the world comin’ to, it’s a pretty picture an’ noo mistake, eh, when ah were a lad we respected our elders, there were nay trouble etc etc yadda yadda mumble mumble…

In one sentence sum up the Internet
Big and huge and full of everything and not entirely trustworthy.

If over time you replace parts on a car, at what point does it stop being the same car you bought? How many parts do you need to replace to make it a new car?
The rear view mirror. That’s the thing. Once you’ve replaced that it’s the beginning of the end. Because you’ll never get a new one to stick to the windscreen. There’s your new car right there.

Gratitude is an attitude. Yea or nay? Explain your viewpoint please!
It’s all like a state of mind init, like, attitude of gratitude, you gotta feel it, you gotta know it, you gotta do it, init, it’s all in da mind, you get me?

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A Bungled Camp-Out

August 14, 2019 55 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Jan Wayne Fields.

I don’t know if you remember my completely fictional characters Rocheel and Dail and their Disappointing Day Out? Well, they’re back and joined by the equally fictional “Jon”! This week they’ve decided to go camping in the back garden…

To read the other stories, click on the froggy.

Copyright Jan Wayne Fields

 

“Aargh! Dail! Help!”

“What are you doing, Rocheel? Is that you under the tent?”

“It fell on me.”

“The instructions clearly say ‘insert section iii of pole B into flange A of tent flap 3, while gently tugging guide rope 7c’.”

“CLEARLY?”

“Fair enough. So, the barbecue…. hmm, nothing’s happening, maybe a bit more lighter fluid…”

WHOOMP!

“Aargh, my eyebrows, my eyebrows are gone, gone forever!”

“Well, Dail, who are we gong to blame for this debacle?”

As one, they turned to look toward the house…

“Good idea. Jon, oh Jon, could you come out here a moment please…?”

 

 

Sharing My World 05-08-2019

August 11, 2019 18 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World. Boy, this is a cheerful set of questions this week!

Does life have a reason (meaning)?
It does to me! So that’s good. In the wider sense, who knows? This question is above my pay grade!

Will the world come to an end by human hands (man’s actions)?
Man’s presence on the world, maybe. I imagine that the world itself will recover from whatever we manage to do to it, in time.

The world itself will end when the sun runs out of fuel. Or when the M’Gak’Nar turn up from Tau Cygnus Alpha IV with their planet-killing missile and blow it to bits.

Will stricter laws make a better world? Would less strict law make it better?
Until people learn right from wrong, stricter laws unfortunately. Too many people ignore their conscience in favour of what they want.

If death is inevitable, why bother doing anything?
Because doing nothing would be really boring.

Are thoughts and prayers useful or a sop for people who wish to pay respect but interact through a virtual venue? Yea or nay – please explain your viewpoint (without rancour) if you would.
Prayers are useful if they help the person praying.

I find thoughts useful. Otherwise I’d just be sitting around in a mindless daze until I died of dehydration and malnutrition.

Categories: About draliman Tags:

FF – False Assumption

August 7, 2019 68 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Randy Mazie.

This is a photo from December 2013 and I actually remembered it! I was going to just repost that story, but I wrote a new one so here’s a link to the old one instead. As a sort of drali-bonus. You’re welcome.

For all the stories, click on the froggy.

trespass_randy_mazie-1

Copyright Randy Mazie

 

“No, we shouldn’t go in there!” Jeff was adamant.

“Ha, come on. ‘NO TRESSRASSING’? What does that even mean?!”

“It’s obvious. Come on, let’s go.”

“Chicken!” laughed Mike, already working at the boards on one of the windows. It creaked and splintered. “Last one in’s a rotten egg!”

Jeff peered through the window as Mike cavorted around the abandoned building.

“NO TRESPASSING!” boomed a voice. An axe swung. At first Jeff thought it had missed, then, almost in slow-motion, Mike’s head rolled from his body.

Jeff ran.

Just because you can’t spell, doesn’t mean you’re not a psychotic axe-wielding maniac.

 

Sharing My World 29-07-2019

August 4, 2019 31 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Is it wrong to sell store-bought pastries at a bake sale?
Yes! Surely the whole point is that you bake something and then sell it? I know the proceeds usually go to charity, or the village hall or whatever, but if you’re going to buy a cake for £3 and sell it for £4, why not just cut out the middle man and donate the £1?

There’s a different name for places which sell mass-produced shop cakes. They’re called “shops”.

Have you ever interacted with the police?
Yes.

What will you remember most about this past year?
I can’t think of anything that really stands out. There was the awful couple of days of snow and the drive home.

Is it better to have fungus on your toes, your tongue, or your pizza?
The only place fungus belongs out of those choices in on a pizza, though I don’t generally have mushrooms on pizza myself.

What is one slang word that makes your skin crawl?
Not “skin crawl” as such, but I can’t get on with the word “sick”. It used to mean something pretty nasty but it’s now used for something amazingly good as well. So sometimes it’s hard to tell whether someone really loves or hates something.

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