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Sharing My World 2018 Week 21

May 27, 2018 1 comment

Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World.

share-your-world2

What household chore do you absolutely enjoy doing? (can be indoor or outdoor)
Chore? Enjoy? Do? Does not compute. Does not compute.

I don’t enjoy doing any chores, let alone “absolutely enjoy”.

The second dictionary definition of “chore” is “a tedious but necessary task”. I usually find a way to make chores less “necessary”.

Create a sentence with the words “neon green” and train”.
I like to keep fit, and always train in neon green spandex.

There’s an image your imagination can never unsee bwahahaha.

Other than your mobile phone what can you always be found with?
My wallet. With a phone and money you can usually get out of any unforeseen emergency situation.

Categories: About draliman

FF – Out of Ideas

May 23, 2018 54 comments

Here is my “not really a story” for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Rochelle.

I was a bit stumped this week and didn’t have a lot of time.

 

“Okay then, here goes…

“The mists rolled ominously across the moors. Bethwick drew a deep breath, cocked his rifle and strode out into the gloom. Suddenly…”

“Hang on, what’s this?”

“My photo prompt story.”

“You’re supposed to be writing about a weed in an ash tray.”

“Shh, keep it down. That’s probably her prize crystal serving dish.”

“It’s definitely a weed, though.”

“Yeah, I’ll give you that. Okay, ditch the tale of intrigue and murder out on the misty moors. Take two!”

“There once was a weed which lived in an ash… I’m not feeling it. Pub?”

“Yeah.”

 

Sharing My World 2018 Week 20

May 20, 2018 18 comments

Here’s my post for Cee’s Share Your World.

share-your-world2

Complete this sentence: This sandwich could really use some…
… hot sauce.

What is your least favourite candy?
Liquorice. ‘Tis indeed the devil’s food.

What sign are you? Do you believe in astrology?
Libra. And no. I once had a read of the traits of a Libran, and I was amazed! A lot of it was me! Then I read the traits of the other signs. And I was amazed! A lot of it was me too!

This stuff, and horoscopes, are like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Once you’ve read it you find a way to make it true, or see it in yourself.

Categories: About draliman Tags:

FF – Wrath of the Gods

May 16, 2018 84 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was submitted by Courtney Wright from an anonymous source.

Heh. I started smiling the instant I saw this and within 5 minutes my story was all typed in. So you can probably guess it’s not one of those “cerebral” ones. You know, like the ones I never write.

Copyright anonymous, submitted by Courtney Wright

 

“Wow. Sure they’re Chaeron’s boots?”

“Verily. They were still smoking when I arrived.”

“You think Zeus finally zapped him for his blasphemy?”

“Maybe. Wait though, who’s this? Hey, it’s Chaeron!”

“It worked! My teleporter! It worked! It zapped me clear over the other side of the village! Left my boots behind. Needs a little adjustment.”

“Yeah, Chaeron. Sure it did. C’mon, Callinus, let’s go.”

“No, wait, it did work! I am all powerful! More powerful than even feeble Zeus! The gods will tremble…”

Zap! Bang! Fizz!

“What was that flash of light?”

“Dunno. Can you smell barbecue? I smell barbecue.”

 

Pegman – A Wales by Any Other Name

May 14, 2018 26 comments

Here is my post for What Pegman Saw. This week Pegman is in Gwynedd, Wales. It’s been a few weeks since I’ve contributed 😦

The photo I chose is of the Cross Foxes Inn where I stayed a few years ago on a little holiday. My story is more inspired by Wales than in Wales, and I’ve popped a couple of photos at the end which I took while I was there.

Copyright Google

 

“At last week’s product meeting we tasked Barry to give us all his view on the market in Wales. Barry?”

“Thank you Alyssa. Ahem. Whales. Monsters of the sea. Grand, majestic…”

“Uh, Barry…”

“… blubber for oil, bone for corsets…”

“Barry, stop! Not only are you horribly out of date but we need your product evaluation for Wales, not whales. Next week?”

“Okay, sorry.”

Next week…

“Okay folks, sorry about last week. Barry, if you will?”

“Thank you. Ahem. Wails. Screams. Screeches. The banshee’s call of dooooom. A weapon of awesome power, to monetise as we see fit…”

“BARRY! Wales. The country.”

“Oh, shit. Sorry everyone. Next week, I promise. A fully comprehensive breakdown of product opportunities in Wales. The country.”

Next week…

“Wales. Damn pretty. Hills, rivers, forests. Nothing we can sell them. They have it all. Luvvvvly.”

“Barry? You’re right. And you’re fired.”

 

Waterfall in Wales

A waterfall in Coed y Brenin forest park, Wales

Coed y Brenin

Copyright me

Sharing My World 2018 Week 19

May 13, 2018 27 comments

Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World.

share-your-world2

If you were given $22 million tax free dollars (any currency), what is the first thing you would do? (This is just a dream question, remember anything can happen in SYW.)
Wow, $22 million dollars! But which country’s dollars? Knowing my luck it’s Zimbabwe dollars. So that’s just under GB£45,000. A “dream question”? Mine’s turned into a nightmare, I got lumbered with dodgy currency. That’s just bloody typical.

I’ll use it to pay off some of my mortgage. I can only hope it wasn’t the old pre-2009 Zimbabwe dollar. I just checked and you can buy 100 trillion of those for £1.50 on eBay 🙂

In what do you find the simplest of joys?
Nothing in this life seems to be particularly simple. I suppose something very uncomplicated, away from everyday life, like sitting by a babbling brook.

That’s more contentment than joy, though.

What would be your ideal birthday present, and why?
I don’t know, I don’t really care about birthday presents. Maybe I’ll have the $22m from the first question in a more worthwhile sort of dollar, like AUD or USD.

Categories: About draliman Tags:

FF – Letter to Mama

May 9, 2018 64 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Jill Wisoff.

After my last dark stories I was really in the mood for more gruesomeness this week but I don’t want people to start to worry about me 🙂 so I’ve ended up with this. As you can probably tell from the title “Letter to Mama” there will be no violence, unless it’s like “Dear Mama, I ritually disembowelled another heretic today. How is Papa?” or something.

I wrote a third person one and a letter one and went with the letter one in the end.

Copyright Jill Wisoff

 

Dear Mama,

I have arrived! So many strange sights. Though dressed in loincloth and carrying my spear, no-one seems to care. Many strange people are here!

Today I glanced up and saw a wonderful omen. Yellow eyes, red cheeks, spiked hat… yes, Mama. The god Meechakukuwhawha (photo enclosed)! These people also worship the god of the harvest, procreation and anteaters. How wonderful!

Later, I obtained a “chilli dog” from a street vendor. I do not know what dogs they have in Chile and hoped it would be Chihuahua within the bun, but I fear not.

Your loving son,

Natwahu