Archive
FF – Dumping Your Missus
Here is my post for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Roger Bultot.
How to Dump Your Missus Chapter 1 – Property Disappointment
“We’re here, love of my life, open your eyes!”
“Waaaa! What a shit hole! You bought this without telling me?”
“Come on up, my love. The lift is sadly broken.”
“Urgh. Is that guy dead?”
“Just ignore him, my sweet. He looks perfectly happy there with his syringe.”
“…”
“Hello, little boy, do you live here, and my, what a big knife you have!”
“Eeek!”
“Here we are my sugar-topped cupcake, floor 97 and our new flat!”
“Forget it! The wedding’s off! Goodbye forever, loser!”
Yes, result! Thanks, ‘How to Dump Your Missus’! Now I just have to offload this appalling property…
Contest of Whatever 2021
Every year, Evil Squirrel hosts a contest, and this year, the theme is the letter “X”. So here goes…
Okay, that was a bit weak. For the avoidance of doubt, that’s a dog in the picture above. Marvel at my art skills!
Let’s have a story full of magic and horrible accidents! Accidents? Or something else…
“Wozzup?”
“I have cursed my nemesis, PG, with an X!”
“Don’t you mean a ‘hex’?”
“‘Hex’? Don’t be ridiculous! It’s X! Terrible things will befall him!”
“Well, it’s ‘hex’ so they won’t.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“It’s ‘hex’, I tell you, PG will be perfectly safe.”
“Who’s the witch around here? I know what I’m talking about, dammit!”
“You know nothing. PG and I will laugh about this later down the pub.”
“There will be no ‘later down the pub’, I tell you. PG is X’ed and will not survive the afternoon!”
“Moron. I’m off. To meet PG.”
“We shall see, oh yes, we shall see bwahahahahaha!”
FF – Teen Love Story
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Dale Rogerson.

Teen Love Story
Jimmy stopped and looked at the snow-covered flowers.
Beautiful?
Bedraggled.
Life had lost all colour.
He kicked them, sending snow sparkles flying amongst the trees. He was alone, all alone, and always would be. He knew that now. She had blanked him, his life was over, a pathetic mess…
Bzzz beep!
A text! A text from her!
hey jimmy soz battery died would love to go school winter prom with you pick me up 7 30 ❤
Life was beautiful! Jimmy felt like singing! Joy to the world!
Heart bursting with happiness, he headed to the pharmacy to buy some condoms. Game on!
FF – Lawyers Tales – Death in the Company
Here is my little story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Ted Strutz.

“Mail call!”
“Great. Let’s see… contracts for the BlimCo merger, transcripts from the Murphy hearing, cremated remains, documents for signing…”
“Wait, what?”
“Murphy hearing.”
“No, the other thing.”
“Cremated remains?”
“Yep.”
“That’ll be Barry. Remember? He refused to move an inch on the Scarlioni property deal so they shot him.”
“Oh yeah.”
“Comes at a good time, actually.”
“How so?”
“It’s started snowing outside. We need something to grit the path.”
“You can’t do that!”
“It’ll be the most useful he’s been since joining the company.”
“True. Go on, then.”
Scatter scatter clink
“Huh. They left the bullet in.”
“Cool.”
FF – Unfinished
Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Alicia Jamtaas.

“Dude.”
“Dooooode.”
“Hee hee!”
“This is some fine weed, man. Fiiiine.”
“Reeeeeal mellow.”
Puff puff
“I think… I think… I can see time!”
“What does it look like, man?”
“Like, like, swirly whirly colours. Real pretty.”
Puff puuuuuffffff
“I can taste my soul!”
“Far out.”
“I keep thinking we’ve forgotten something.”
“Like what?”
“Like, something we started but didn’t finish.”
“Don’t sweat it, man. Chill.”
Puff. Puff. Puuuufffff.
“Like, if we haven’t finished something, it’s probably okay, right?”
“Yeah, like, what’s the worst that could possibly happen?”
Puff puff puff
KA-BOOM! CRASH! WHOOMP!
“Dude.”
“Dude.”
Puff