Pegman – Mayhem in Russia

September 18, 2017 24 comments

Here is my post for What Pegman Saw, which this week takes us to St. Petersburg. The other stories for this week can be found by clicking on the blue froggy.

Some high octane excitement this week!

Copyright Google

 

The sound of sirens came closer. Around the corner sped a sports car, followed by a host of police cars. One of the pursuit overshot, smashing into a wall.

The sports car accelerated, spewing a thick, dark substance. The closest of the police cars skidded, flying into the river. The sports car spun to a halt, facing the remaining pursuit and accelerated in a deadly game of “chicken”. Two police cars smashed into a shop, another joined its friend in the river. The sports car vaulted the railing and shot across the water, executed twelve spins, bounced off a boat, flipped end over end and sped away.

Two old men watched the scene.

“That’ll be James Bond.”

“No, Alexei. Too flashy, yes? And not an Aston Martin. It’ll be that Jason Bourne.”

Alexei nodded. “Or Ethan Hunt, maybe. Just once I wish these foreign asshole spies trash their own city.”

 

Sharing my World Week 38

September 17, 2017 15 comments

Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World.

share-your-world2

Would you want $200,000 right now or $250,000 in a year? It’s safe to assume all money is tax free.
I’ll have the bigger amount next year, thanks. And I’ll take it in local currency, too. None of this dollar nonsense. The extra I’d pay on my mortgage this year is not nearly as much as the extra money I’ll get next year, at which point I’ll pay the mortgage off.

Is it more important to love or be loved?
I dunno. Can I have both?

List things that represent abundance to you.
Hmm. The definition of abundance is “a very large quantity of something”. Currently there is an abundance of cars on the road. There is also an abundance of rain falling from the sky.

What inspired you this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination. 
Nothing, dammit.

Categories: About draliman Tags:

FF – Miracle Face

September 13, 2017 79 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Kelvin M. Knight.

A sombre and thoughtful piece this week. Only joking! It’s craziness 🙂

I have included a short glossary so you can understand what Mr Nutman is saying.

  • Oi = I
  • sarnie = sandwich
  • Mouf = mouth
  • peepholes = eyes
  • monkey = £500
  • fought = thought

Copyright Kelvin M. Knight

 

“Miracle” face appears in slice of bread!

 

Chiswick resident Bingo Nutman, 67, discovered the staggering phenomenon after opening his lunchbox. Nutman explains:

“Oi came ‘cross this ‘ere mir’cle face in me sarnie. Mouf, peepholes, ev’ryfink. There’ll be a monkey in this fer me if oi sells it to the tabloids, oi fought.”

Unfortunately for Nutman, it later transpired that his wife Imelda, 71, had been cutting heart shapes in his lunchtime treats because she “thought it would be romantic”.

Nutman, denied his payout, is understood to be seeking divorce, citing “irreconcilable differences” and “theft of bread with intent to starve”.

 

Pegman – Under New Management

September 11, 2017 26 comments

Here is my story for What Pegman Saw. This week we’re in San Juan, Puerto Rico.

It took ages to find a reasonably old-fashioned-looking building. It’s all so new-looking! Also, sorry to be fixated on American oversees territories, but I needed to find a reasonable timeline with a starting point in Puerto Rico. I wanted to get in a dig at the British and their pie and mash and warm beer, but it was not to be 😦

I did a lot of Wiki research 🙂 and the timeline appears to be – Puerto Rico became American in 1898 (ex-Spanish), the Danish West Indies became American (American Virgin Islands) in 1917 and Guam became officially American in 1950. Apart from that, please ignore historical inaccurcies 🙂

Copyright Google

 

“Hey, Juan, yesterday we were Spanish, today we’re American! This world, eh? I’ll celebrate with a sangria!”

“Any excuse, Alejandro, you varmint.”

“Why are you suddenly talking like that? Urk, yeuch! What is this muck?”

“It’s called ‘Bud Light’. It’s what we serve here now.”

“Since when?”

“Since now.”

“Humph. Give me food to wash away the taste.”

“Today’s special. Enjoy. Ya varmint.”

“What? What is this? Where’s my paella? Stop saying ‘varmint’.”

“It’s called ‘hamburger’. It’s actually cow.”

“Amigo, this nationality conversion is playing havoc here at the taberna.”

Bar, this is a bar now.”

“I can’t keep up. I’m moving to the Danish West Indies.”

19 years later…

“Hey, Viggo, yesterday we were Danish, today we’re American! This world, eh? I’ll celebrate with a mead…”

 

After finally getting fed up with hamburgers and Bud Light, Alejandro moves to Guam in 1949…

 

Sharing My World 2017 Week 37

September 10, 2017 31 comments

Here is my post for Cee’s Share Your World.

share-your-world2

What colour do you feel most comfortable wearing?
Dark blue. And black. So I can sneak around without being noticed. Like a ninja. But without the sword-waving.

What is your favourite type of dog? (can be anything from a specific breed, a stuffed animal or character in a movie)

Andrex Puppies

The Lads.

List at least five favourite flowers or plants.
Five? I’m not sure I know the names of five. I like heather and lavender. These blue ones in my back garden are nice. I expect they’re bluebells because they’re blue and they look like bells. But they might not be.

These are nice too. There’s at least two different types of flowers here, so that makes five!

Favourite Flowers

Some of these might be my favourite flowers (taken at Bodnant Gardens, North Wales)

What inspired you this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.
Oh boy, this again. Am I the only person who just goes through life, day to day, without getting particularly inspired? I blame fifty hours at work and then being very tired after all that.

Categories: About draliman Tags:

FF – The Greatest Loss

September 6, 2017 93 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo comes courtesy of Danny Bowman.

To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.

Copyright Danny Bowman

 

Agony. Terror.

These are not words which immediately spring to mind when exposed to such an idyllic scene. Endless, rolling hills, sky tinged red with the sunset, the gentle chirruping of insects…

Mind-chilling horror. Guts aflame, like a burning knife thrust deep in your innards. Brain melting as all you knew is ripped away…

These are not phrases one would associate with such a tranquil setting. Yet for one young man, not yet fourteen, it is something he must now face.

“Dad, something’s wrong! My Facebook’s not loading.”

“There’s no phone coverage out here, son.”

“BY ALL THAT’S HOLY, NOOOooooooo!”

 

Pegman – A New Age

September 4, 2017 37 comments

Here is my post for What Pegman Saw, which this week takes us to The Poisson-Blanc area of Quebec.

I’m trying out a different writing style here. Partly because I’m really busy and this style of part-sentences took less than 10 minutes to type. Compose the general idea in your head and then just let the words tumble out, I say 🙂

Copyright Google

 

Thousands of miles across country, crammed into two small vans. Everywhere, signs of the Infection. Dead animals, dying plants. Rabid people. Food from tins only, all water boiled twice.

Not a nice way to live. Hardly living at all.

Onwards, always onwards, mile after mile, days into weeks into months.

At last, Canada. Rumours of safety. A sanctuary, hidden in the forests of Quebec. People there, real, live, uninfected people.

The Infection could only reach so far, couldn’t it? It had to stop eventually, didn’t it?

Arrival. At last, safety. Excited, over-excited, disembarking, shouting in joy! People coming to meet us!

Too excited… we fail to notice the shuffling gait, the too-pale skin. The smell. We fail to notice all these things and so we succumb. The Infection has us.

The last of the human race. Somebody had to be.

Goodbye Homo Sapiens. Welcome to the Age of Homo Infectus.