Sharing My World 17-02-2020

February 23, 2020 12 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

How can someone win a gold star (i.e. win your approval and/or admiration) with you?
They could give me loads of money. Money is good. I like money. I’m shallow like that. And it wouldn’t be a gold star from me, that sounds expensive. I would cut a star out of an old newspaper. Which someone else bought. Newspapers are expensive.

If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?
I would spend the time trying to get people to give me money. Money is good. I like money. I would also be cutting stars out of old newspaper to give to the people who give me money.

Do you have a favourite type of exercise?
I don’t have any type of exercise. Another SYW participant had a great idea – a private pool would be great. I don’t feel confident enough to go to a public pool but I’d love to do a few laps in my own pool in the morning.

Do you sleep with a top sheet? Why or why not?
No. I’m sure it would keep slipping off the duvet. And my duvet is a high enough tog rating that it wouldn’t make any difference anyway.

Categories: About draliman Tags:

The Seventh Annual Content of Whatever

February 22, 2020 16 comments

Yes, folks, it’s that time of year again. Time for Evil Squirrel’s Annual Contest of Whatever!

This year the talented folks at DraliDoodlesTM have got a little pen to draw on their Surface Pro, and unfortunately they’re not afraid to use it. So they’ve used it exclusively.

No complicated rules like “it has to include two possums, a priest, a dinosaur and the Titanic” this year. The theme is simply “Murphy’s Law” (anything that can go wrong, will go wrong).






FF – Ramblings from the Pub Part 2

February 19, 2020 67 comments

Here is my contribution to Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Dawn Miller.

 

“Yeah, he had total tunnel vision.”

“Wow.”

“He couldn’t see anything unless it was right in front of his face.”

“Sounds nasty.”

“Yeah. The latest fad. Gym every night. Then no more gym. Night clubs every night. Then no more night clubs.”

“So what happened to him?”

“Hit by a bus. Never saw It coming. Very sad.”

“Very sad… sorry, I didn’t think you meant literal, medical tunnel vision.”

“What? No! Got obsessed with an online dating app. Head buried in his phone, didn’t like the look of someone, swiped left, BAM!”

“Karma.”

“Karma. Pint?”

“Yep.”

 

Sharing My World 16-02-2020

February 16, 2020 18 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Do you snore? How do you know it, if you do?
I don’t know. I had a girlfriend once who said I did. But I don’t have any proof.

What do you find funny?
The usual stuff. Just thinking of some of the films I’ve seen… fictional people getting gorily killed in a funny way. Fictional people’s heads exploding in a funny way. Zombie hordes getting shredded by helicopter blades. All in good fun 🙂

What was the last furry thing you touched?
The removable inner lining of my North Face coat yesterday. I went to the village market in the storm, safe in the knowledge that it would keep me dry. So I ended up warm and dry from the waist up and soaked through from the waist down. Didn’t really think that through.

How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
I suppose you could cuff his arm to his leg. Though that might be considered “cruel and unusual”.

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FF – Armageddon Averted

February 12, 2020 56 comments

Here is my contribution for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle, who also provided the photo this week.

I got to thinking what I would be doing if the weather looked that bad.

 

Ring ring!

“Hello?”

“Beelzubub? Gabriel here. What’s the hold up? We’re standing here, swords aflame, looking like a load of numpties.”

“Never fear! We’ve made it really cold and miserable to keep the mortals indoors.”

“And?”

“We’ve built a video game called ‘Armageddon’. Everyone will play it ‘cos they can’t go out and when they click ‘Armageddon – Start Now’, we’re off! Angels vs demons smackdown! Yeah!”

“Starting a game called ‘Armageddon’ does NOT start Armageddon. Idiot.”

“Don’t you talk to me like that!”

“Go to hell.”

“Already there!”

Good job demons are so stupid or the Earth would be in a right mess…

Um…

 

Sharing My World 03-02-2020

February 9, 2020 28 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

When was the last time you tried something new?
Though it’s a bit of a reach as it’s not entirely new. I tried slow cooking for the first time in October. Generally I prefer to avoid new things.

If you were forced to eliminate every physical possession from your life with the exception of what could fit into a single backpack, what would you put in it?
Oh boy. Is this going to be long term? First of all I’d make sure the backpack was super huge. Then I’d make sure it had stuff like phone, money, laptop and Kindle in it. Actually, it doesn’t need to be that big, does it? Once those things are in you don’t really need much else nowadays.

What simple fact do you wish more people understood?
I wish people understood that their lives are not their own. They’re being lived for the greater glory of the Grand Regis of Nexis Four, capital planet of the Glorg Imperium. The Glorgians took over hundreds of years ago, but every time I try to tell people I get locked up “for my own safety”.

Wise up, people. (All praise Emperor Gliffn, the Wise and Mighty.)

What food item do you go through fastest in your house?
Cheese goes pretty fast. So does Tabasco sauce. And chocolate, when I have any in. I tend not to buy any as I immediately scoff it down. It’s like it has some sort of power over me. Much like the Glorgians (All praise Emperor Gliffn, the Wise and Mighty).

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FF – Cutbacks

February 5, 2020 58 comments

Here is my contribution to Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Ted Strutz.

Copyright Ted Strutz

 

“So. Judgement Day.”

“Yeah. So this is death. I was expecting a bright light rather than an escalator.”

“Cutbacks, I guess.”

“I haven’t always been the best person. There was that speeding ticket. I swore at that little old lady…”

“I’m sure that won’t count against you.”

“…and then there’s all those people I murdered in the 70’s.”

“Whaaa… you’ll be on the way back down, mate. Here we are. Ooh, a questionnaire. No judgement by angels?”

“More cutbacks? A-ha! ‘Question 7: Did you murder anyone in the 70’s?’ I’ll tick ‘no’. And I’m in! Gotta love the cutbacks!”