FF – What Could it Be?

April 21, 2021 44 comments

Here is my story (not really a story) for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by David Stewart.

Copyright David Stewart

What could it be?
An alien landscape, strewn about with energy pods, throbbing with power.

What could it be?
Alien eggs, ready to hatch, stereotypically blue for males and pink for females.

What could it be?
A triumph of modern art, the culmination of a life’s work made real in stark neon colours.

What could it be?
Futuristic travel pods, each containing a single life form.

What could it be?
Stomp stomp stomp KICK!
One of the ovoids sails though the air, flying straight through the centre of the distant circle. Cheers abound.

What could it be?
One-nil, apparently.

Sharing My World 12-04-2021

April 18, 2021 16 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What would be the worst “buy one get one free” sale of all time?
Tell you what, I’m going to be lazy. Here’s what I wrote on the subject in 2019…

How can getting something for free ever be a bad thing? I’m all for free stuff. In fact, even if you don’t want one of something, if it’s BOGOF buy it anyway. Fill your house with useless and unwanted tat.

True then, true now!

Have you ever gotten a really bad haircut? Do share!
Not really. Unless you count the exciting side-parting cuts I had to have as a kid. Or the ones I did myself over the past year…

Isn’t Disney Land and Disney World (and all the variants) just a people trap operated by a mouse?
Definitely, according to South Park.

Lots of people enjoy going to these place, but they look too busy for me.

What if Batman got bitten by a vampire? What would happen?
He’d be able to turn into an actual bat. Very cool. Then he would be Manbat. Or Batman Bat. I’m sure “The Big Bang Theory” has covered this…

What do you want your final words to be if you could choose?
“Bugger”.

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FF – Resources

April 14, 2021 61 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Anne Higa.

Copyright Anne Higa

Maddens shone his multi-phasic light across the alleyway. There – tripolycarbo-urethic fuel, leaking from an overflow. Someone had been careless.

Nasty stuff, usually invisible, cuts straight through flesh.

He turned to the proprietor.

“You! Thank the System your negligence dismembered/killed 17 passers-by or we would never have found this! You are arrested, tried and convicted of resource waste (Resources Act 2057). The sentence is death.”

Bang!

As always post-execution, a queue was forming. He turned to the first.

“Yes, madam?”

“A nice bit of thigh and a kidney, please.”

Police Officer Butcher-Judge Mike Maddens grabbed his cleaver.

Waste not, want not.

Sharing My World 05-04-2021

April 11, 2021 27 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Do you think psychic abilities exist?
Do I think psychic abilities exist? I know what you think about it. How?

Because I know what you’re thinking… 😮

How would you describe peanut butter to someone who didn’t know what it was?
Some sort of brown muck. I’ve never risked it so I can’t really comment on the taste. Except to say that I don’t like peanuts so potentially I wouldn’t like it.

Why does an octopus squirt ink?
Who knows why octopuses do anything. They’re a right old mystery and no mistake. Best just to let them get on with it.

Who are two of today’s greatest entertainers in your opinion? (can be actors, musicians, singers etc)
Ooh, those funny people. The double act. You know the ones. With that joke they do. About that thing. You know. That funny thing.

Those two.

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FF – Rated PG

April 7, 2021 61 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Brenda Cox.

Copyright Brenda Cox

Whoooooooshhh!

“We’re here!”

“Why do portals always seem to spit people out in anonymous deserted alleys with foreign writing?”

“It is the way of things. Look, there they are! Take cover!”

Rat-a-tat-a-tat! Bang! Whizz! Pee-ow! Bang! Bang! Rat-a-tat! Hail of bullets! Ka-blam! Rat-a-tat!

“They’re not very good shots, are they?”

“No. They’ve destroyed everything except us. Seems unlikely. Wait a minute…”

“What?”

“Just checking. Ah. I suspected as much.”

“What?”

“We’re rated ‘PG’.”

“’PG’? Oh, man.”

“Yeah. If I can’t grin evilly while snapping someone’s neck I’m not interested.”

“Me neither. I want blood and gore. Let’s portal home.”

“Yep.”

Whoooooooshhh!

Sharing My World 29-03-2021

April 4, 2021 18 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What is knowledge?
Stuff you know. I would say.

How do you define consciousness (self awareness)?
I define it as really dangerous. ‘Cos, like, when Skynet became self-aware it, like, created Terminators and destroyed the world. So it’s like, a really bad thing, innit.

Is it possible to prove that other people besides yourself have consciousness?
Other people? Are there other people? Or just figments of my imagination? Is this all just a dream? Am I in an alien zoo surrounded by human-like automatons?

Dum dum DUMMMMM.

Would you be able to tell if time had been altered in some way?
Yeah, a whole hour disappeared last week. It was freaky. But we have lighter evenings now.

How could I tell? Every clock in the house automatically told the same time, except the one on the cooker which was an hour behind.

Do you like potato chips (they’re called ‘crisps’ in Europe I believe)?
Crisps certainly have their place. I often munch some along with my lunchtime cheese roll. A packet lasts three lunchtimes. I don’t like to eat too many. Sometimes I treat myself to some quality crisps, though.

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FF – Tales from the Tray

March 31, 2021 62 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Jennifer Pendergast.

Bit cooler out here.

Woof.

Miaow.

Look at you with your baubles. How crass.

You’re one to talk with that huge green scarf.

Woof.

Why am I upside down?

Miaow.

Do I look a bit burned around the edges?

You look fine, dear.

LOOK YE ALL! A HAND COMETH!

Aaaahhhh, a haaaand

JEFF IS CHOSEN!

Aaaahhhh, he is the Chosen One

(munch munch yum munch)

JEFF HAS GONE ABOVE. HE HAS ASCENDED. HE IS WITH THE GODS.

With the Godssssss

(munch munch buuurp aaaahhh, great cookies, dear!)

I hope I’m next to be blessed.

Me too.

Woof.

Miaow.

Sharing My World 22-03-2021

March 28, 2021 22 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

If not now, then when?
Monday morning, about 11:07. Or possibly the week after. I haven’t decided.

Can you describe your life in a six-word sentence?
No. Um. More words. Hatstand. Banana.

Do you remember that thing people used to say, about how you swallow eight spiders a year while you sleep? It’s not true, but do you think you’ve ever swallowed any? What bug do you think you’ve eaten the most of by accident?
Urk. Gross. There are many things where I feel I’m better off not knowing, and in fact not even thinking about. And this is one of them.

What’s the best approach to resolving conflict?
First, get right up in their face and yell at them, big time. If that doesn’t work, shiv them in the kidneys.

No, wait, that can’t be the correct answer for a public forum.

You attempt to defuse the situation by calmly talking to both sides, attempting to make them see each other’s point of view. If that doesn’t work, then and only then, shiv them in the kidneys.

Gratitude
I had my first COVID jab on Monday. Yay!

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FF – The Beacon

March 24, 2021 62 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Dale Rogerson.

Copyright Dale Rogerson

The Beacon pulsed, on… off… on… off… it was almost hypnotic.

Almost.

For some it was. Completely. Irresistibly.

As he watched, another unfortunate stumbled towards the Beacon, touching it, exploding into bright white ash. The area around the Beacon was knee deep.

Ash. Dead people.

One day it would be his turn.

Population control, they called it. One day you’d hear the call. Then you’d be gone. Boom. Ash.

He was all for population control. Too many people. Too few resources.

A policy of “free condoms for all” seemed less extreme than blasting people to atoms.

But what did he know?

Sharing My World 15-03-2021

March 21, 2021 15 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

How well do you know your next-door neighbours? Do you like them?
We exchange pleasantries now and then but I don’t really know them.

Do you have a full length mirror?
Yes, it’s attached to the wardrobe. Everybody needs a good mirror to admire themselves in 😉

Do you shave every day or do you like the ‘stubble’ look, or a beard?
I shave every day. I don’t want to end up like a hippy. Or ZZ Top 🙂

How many items of clothing are in your bedroom (or closet) and not hung up?
Loads and loads. There’s some coats and trousers on the chair. Then there’s any number of jeans and jumpers on shelves in the wardrobe. Yes, the wardrobe with the mirror on it. It’s very popular today!

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