draliman on life

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What’s the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery or came into a huge fortune?
I’d buy myself a nice island as a retreat, for the pursuit of self-awareness and introspection. It would just be me, my mansion, my private security army and my lethal response security system. We can’t have local yokels turning up in their crappy little boats and walking on my private beach, now, can we?

Which decade do you think had the best sense of style?
None of them. They’ve all been rubbish. In no decade has it been acceptable to walk around in your pyjamas. Except possibly in 70s discos.

Would you rather be half your height or double your weight?
Neither would be much fun. I suppose half my height, as double my weight would lead to imminent death. Although… weight can be lost but you can’t add height. So on the other hand, double my weight would be temporary.

If you wanted to get away from everyone totally, where would you hide?
My aforementioned private island, as any interlopers would be quickly dispatched by the aforementioned private security army or aforementioned lethal response security system.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

When you’re 90 years old, what do you suppose will matter most to you?
Watching “Homes Under the Hammer” at the retirement village while keeping my bodily functions under control. I hope there’s raspberry jelly for pudding today! I can’t handle anything that requires chewing.

What’s the best way to spend a rainy afternoon?
Napping, reading, watching TV and playing PS4. It doesn’t have to be rainy!

What is one thing you don’t understand about yourself?
I understand myself perfectly. I know myself like the back of my hand… aargh, what the hell’s that on the back of my hand? How long’s that been there?

When was the last time you tried something to look ‘cool’ (hip), but it ended in utter embarrassment? Details?
I don’t have to try to look cool, it’s just something that comes naturally 🙂

There was this one time when I was walking along the top of a wall and decided to jump dynamically off the end. I leaned too far forward during the jump and went head over heels. I did, however, manage to twist in the air so I didn’t land on any of my expensive electronics. I landed on my face instead so that was a lucky escape.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World. Which logo to use today? Ah, the agony of choice…

If you had to sum up the whole human species in 3 words, what would those words be?
Here are some choices, from worst to best.

All screwed up.

Getting there slowly.

Flawed but precious.

Where is the strangest place you’ve relieved yourself? Obviously in an emergency situation.
This is a bit gross. But I was a student so that makes it not gross. Though I was a PhD student so I was a bit older.

At home… in a beer glass. Apparently the girls in the house had a “female situation” and had been in the bathroom for over an hour. And the boys were drinking and filling their bladders. Of course, I had to drink all the beer in the glass first so it was only delaying the problem…

What is the worst smelling place you’ve ever been?
Hey, it’s a university story again! And it’s a bit gross again. I blame the questions.

This would be the toilets in the Students’ Union during a big event. We’re talking vomit everywhere. And a lot of it was black. Before it was banned, a lot of people (including me) were drinking “snakebite and black” – half lager, half cider and blackcurrent juice (to make it a bit drinkable).

How drunk is drunk enough?
As I don’t drink, anything at all for me. For other people, mellow but not aggressive.