Archive

Archive for the ‘About draliman’ Category

Sharing My World 23-11-2020

November 29, 2020 9 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What is worse than a dentist with bad breath?
A proctologist with a power drill.

Have you ever been rejected by someone that you liked, or been told that you were not good enough for somebody else?
Ha!

“Um… fancy going out for a drink after work?
“Yeah, sounds good!”
woohoo!
“Great, place round the corner at 6?”
“Yep. Who else is coming?”
Nooooooo!

Did you ever want to have toast for breakfast, only to find that all your bread was covered in green mould?
Result. Extra penicillin, set you up for the day.

Did you ever sneeze so hard that your whole body hurt?
Not my whole body but my head. Makes me worry I’ve burst a blood vessel 😦

Did you ever buy clothing on the internet that did not fit, but you wore them anyway, since you didn’t want to pay the £5 shipping charge to send them back?
No. I only buy clothes on the internet if they’re a known brand and I understand their sizing system. Most places these days have a handy size chart, as obviously one company’s “XL” is another company’s “M”.

Categories: About draliman Tags:

Sharing My World 16-11-2020

November 22, 2020 20 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World. We have a new COVID-themed image this week!

Is cereal soup? Why or why not?
What? No. Surely not! Milk makes me throw up anyway so all that leaves is the dry Rice Crispies. Not very soup-like.

I suppose if you wait for the cereal to get soggy and mash it all up you’d get a soup-like substance. Like gruel. Yum.

What are some interesting ways to answer everyday questions like “how’s it going” or “what do you do”?
“What’s ‘it’? You’re talking nonsense, man. You need to define your terms. Moron.”

“What do I do when? At night? During the day? When I’m out and about? Be more precise! Moron.”

(Taken from my upcoming book “How to lose friends and piss everyone off”.)

What was your favourite toy growing up?
I remember two. There was my bike. I’d cycle all around town visiting friends. The other was a cool castle my Dad made for me and my brother out of wood. Battlements, a drawbridge, it had everything!

If you have a pet, and you could ask it three questions, what would you ask?
I don’t but I’ve had cats so let’s go with a cat.

“Why are you peeing on the carpet?”
“Are you taking the piss? If you are, please take it off the carpet and outside.”
“When you look at me are you thinking about how I’d make good eating?”

Categories: About draliman Tags:

Sharing My World 09-11-2020

November 15, 2020 19 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not?
I’m not a big fan of surprises. I like to know what’s coming so I can sort out my reaction in advance. I wouldn’t want to go into shock or burst into tears or whatever, that would never do 🙂

What’s your favourite zoo animal?
I’ve not been to a zoo for many years, and I’m not a big fan of animals being in zoos. They’re not as bad as they used to be of course with the tiny cages they used to have. I quite like the penguins.

What three things do you think of the most each day?
Hahaha oh goodness. Best not to say 😉

Let’s go for three other things. Work, what’s for tea, what shall I watch next.

When, if ever, is taking a human life justified?
To protect yourself or others.

Or when someone’s getting a bit annoying, obviously.

Categories: About draliman Tags:

Sharing My World 02-11-2020

November 8, 2020 20 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Which meal is your favourite: breakfast, lunch, or dinner?
Tea, which is “dinner”, if you like (I’m not posh enough to call it “dinner” unless it’s a meal out).

I like to choose something good to watch and relax and eat. I don’t eat breakfast at all. Even when I’m in a hotel and it’s “included” I rarely eat any. I just don’t feel hungry.

Who do you admire most in the world?
Me. I’m awesome.

No, wait, that sounds a bit arrogant and self-obsessive.

No one person. Traits and actions from lots of people.

Especially from me 😉

With the obvious restrictions in place, what do you regret not doing in the last year?
Nothing much, really. A couple of birthday family get-togethers were missed, and I haven’t been able to babysit my godson and his siblings, but apart from that, I was never really one for going out.

Categories: About draliman Tags:

Sharing My World 26-10-2020

November 1, 2020 28 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What’s the tallest building you’ve been to the top of?
I have no idea. It wouldn’t have been very high, though. Maybe a few storeys. A multi-storey car park or something.

What do you do to keep fit?
What is this “keeping fit” of which you speak?

What’s your jack-o-lantern carved to look like?
I’ve never carved one. I’ve never known anyone who carved one. Or bought a pumpkin. Halloween is getting bigger in the UK but has never been a big thing.

Fortunately it was largely cancelled this year, for obvious reasons. In fact, trick-and-treating was illegal in much if the UK due to various local lockdown restrictions.

Nothing says “super-spreader event” quite like going round loads of houses taking sweets from dozens of strangers!

Do you have hope or have you lost it?
I hope I have hope.

Hey, looks like I do have hope!

Categories: About draliman Tags:

Sharing My World 19-10-2020

October 25, 2020 22 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

How many people in real life or on social media (including WordPress, which has become a rather social media site) do you consider good enough friends to help you ‘hide the dead body?
I’m perfectly capable of hiding my own dead bodies, thanks. Ask someone else and you’ll forever be waiting for them to break and tell someone else. Best plan – get someone else to help with the digging, then pop them across the back of the head with the shovel and bung them in the same hole.

Are You Ready To Order? What Are You Having (craving) right now?
Nothing right now but it’s early morning. Sometimes sweet, sometimes savoury, it depends on how I’m feeling.

How’s the weather in YOUR neck of the woods?
Pretty unsettled. A heavy rain shower just finished and it’s currently 9 degrees. Through the day it’s generally reaching 12 or 13 degrees.

There has always been something.” “Before there was something, there was only nothing.” Which do you think is more likely?
Maybe there were these alien kids in another dimension who created a little universe as a school science project. After only winning third prize – after all, new universes are ten a penny – they forgot about it and it expanded. Now we live there!

Categories: About draliman Tags:

Sharing My World 12-10-2020

October 18, 2020 25 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Are we “here” or do we just think we are? (A metaphysical question today folks.) Can you prove your point of view?
Are we here? Am I here? Are you here? Do you exist? Are you artefacts of my subconscious, or am I product of yours? Am I leading a life shaped by another’s fevered dreams? Am I experiencing reality in the same way as you?

These and other questions will not be answered or even considered, because that’s how you go raving mad and spend the rest of your life weaving baskets.

OR DO YOU?

From an identity stand-point, which would be the worst for you personally to lose? Your face, your body or your voice? Which do YOU identify with most strongly for your own sense of self?
Well, the only one I could function without is my voice. I’d be a right state without my face or body.

Yeah, I know that’s not what the question was actually asking 🙂

Do you have a ‘song’? If you’re part of a couple, you could use “your couple’s song” OR a song that’s just always resonated with you.
Nope. ’nuff said.

Are ghosts real or has someone been smoking something and just imagines them?
No, ghosts aren’t real. Apart from Casper, obviously. He’s real. And friendly.

Categories: About draliman Tags:

Sharing My World 05-10-2020

October 11, 2020 37 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

When was the last time you tried something new? How did that go for you?
I was going to say “I don’t know, I don’t like ‘the new'” but then I realised – the Block Editor! I know everyone seems to hate it, but I can actually put a post together faster. All the functions I need are right there in the little menus.

So, quite well!

What’s the most sensible thing you’ve ever heard someone say?
I’m not sensible enough to remember sensible things that sensible people say.

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
7,402.

Have you ever seen a ‘fresh’ corpse (aka dead body)?
I’ve never seen a corpse, fresh or otherwise. I know there’s a religion where the recently deceased can be viewed at the funeral, but there’s no way I’d want to see that, or for my empty shell to be seen once dead.

Categories: About draliman Tags:

Sharing My World 28-09-2020

October 4, 2020 31 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Well, hell. I’ve been “upgraded” to the block editor. I’ve been using the classic editor since July 2011 and I’m not one with change 😦

Fortunately it’s trivial to use, very intuitive. But I still don’t like change, dammit. I had to change my green font colour to blue, because the preset green is awful and I can’t be bothered to faff with custom.

And worse – in the block editor, the image showed centralised but in the preview it was left-justified. Poor show, WordPress. I had to click three button before I found the justify controls.

Where do you feel most at home? Please be more specific than “at home, doh” please. It could be a room in your home, a person, a location…
At home, doh.

Oh no, sorry. I can’t put that. In my living room, then. It has the TV and the best Echo and the PS4 and whatnot. It’s also my home office!

Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car?
A car. I’ve never ridden a horsey. I’d be too scared of falling off, and they’re living creatures with their own personalities, so who know what they might do…

And they say you never forget how to ride a bike. Lies!

What song would you sing on “Karaoke Night” (if you were forced to do so)?
“All By Myself”. I can’t sing in tune, but with that song you can turn it into a comedy, really over-dramaticising the entire thing, falling to your knees, fist in the air etc. Off-key singing would only make it funnier 🙂

University or life experience, which do you feel best prepares you for life?
Surely “life” is “life experience?

University is good preparation. It’s like a “trial” – you get many of life’s challenges, but with the safety net of various university offices behind you to help out with advice when things go awry. And go awry they will!

Categories: About draliman Tags:

Sharing My World 21-09-2020

September 27, 2020 29 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World, with extra questions from Roger Shipp.

Have you ever driven the wrong way on a one-way street? How did this come about?
Streets go both ways, surely 🙂 No, I don’t remember ever going the wrong way.

As a kid, did you ever decide to run away? Did you have a plan? Take a pet? Sandwiches?
I may have, when I was very little. Or maybe it was my little brother. I (or he) only got a hundred yards away or so, though.

You suddenly found you have a hidden talent for playing a musical instrument. What musical instrument do you hope that accompanies your talent? Any particular song?
I reckon a violin. I could play jaunty jigs and annoy the neighbours.

Do you accessorize with jewellery? There was an opal necklace (cursed) and Slytherin’s locket (also cursed) in the Potter story. Have you had any heirloom jewellery passed down through the generations? Is it more ‘keepsake’ or do you wear it on occasion? (Hopefully, yours was not cursed?)
I’m not a jewellery person. I’m not married so no wedding ring, and I’m not a pimp or Mr T.

I pity da fool who wears this much bling

What ingredients go into YOUR favourite salad?
Ooh, I’ve heard of “salads”. I sometimes have a “salad” but the main ingredients are cheese and meat. So not so salad-y, really.

If you care to, share something that really irritates you.
That’s the subject for a whole new “War and Peace-sized” post.

What are your favourite ‘lounging around the house’ items of clothing? Now that a lot of people ‘lounge around the house’ waiting for the all clear in respect to Covid being shown the door, have those lounging items changed?
The same as my “going out” clothes but older versions, no longer deemed as suitable for outside wear. The jumper is a bit older, the jeans a bit tattier, but still fine for answering the door.

Categories: About draliman Tags: