Home > Just Silly > Hello Spammers!

Hello Spammers!

I’ve been feeling a bit guilty lately. I get all these comments which fall into my spam box and I haven’t replied to any of them!

After all, these “people” have taken all the trouble to write/buy/steal a spamming engine. The least I can do is reply to them. At the end of the day, they did manage to cleverly bypass the Akismet spam filter, and judging on the number which get caught and removed, that couldn’t have been easy.

So, inspired by fellow blogger Goldfish’s amazingly funny “Dear Goldfish” series, here’s my replies to my spammers.

Fuck off.

Hang on, that’s not it. I was going to replyย personally. Here goes.

“Hey there! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any trouble with hackers?”
Yes. You. Bugger off.

“Thanks for any other excellent article. The place else could anybody get that type of info in such a perfect method of writing? Iโ€™ve a presentation next week, and I am at the search for such info.”
“Any other excellent article”? What’s wrong with this article? Good luck with your presentation, by the way. I do hope it doesn’t have to be given in English.

“Hello! Would you mind if I share your blog with my myspace group?”
Yes. Yes, I would mind.

“It contrary to popular belief was obviously a amusement site it. Look advanced to far added acceptable in your favor! In addition, how could we speak?”
I’m very much afraid that if we did speak, I wouldn’t understand a word you were saying, as your words seem to spray out in a fairly random order.

“You definitely have amazing article content. Thanks a lot for revealing your webpage.”
This was in response to my Daily Prompt post “Ode to an Xbox“. This was not an “article”, nor did it contain any “amazing content”. I wrote it for a laugh in less than 15 minutes while simultaneously watching Eastenders on the telly. But thanks for your kind words anyway.

I think that’s all for now. I look forward to reading and replying to more of your automated drivel in the future!

Categories: Just Silly Tags:
  1. March 3, 2013 at 8:25 am

    Response-to-spam posts are amongst my favorite types of blog posts, and this one delivered as well, haha! The “obviously a amusement site it” one make me choke on my soda! ๐Ÿ™‚ Fish’s series is also hilarious, and if you enjoyed hers, you should check out MissFourEyes, http://missfoureyes.wordpress.com/2012/11/19/theyre-selling-me-viagra-again/ .. also hilarious! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

    • March 3, 2013 at 8:49 am

      Thanks! And thanks for the link – I just headed over to MissFourEyes. The reply to “Japanese Parts” was hilarious, I’ll check out more of her blog I think!

      Like

  2. March 3, 2013 at 8:39 am

    What is even more amazing is that people fall for it ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

    • March 3, 2013 at 8:42 am

      Unfortunately true. They all contain links to websites or YouTube videos. I had to be careful copying and pasting them (via Notepad to ensure all nastiness was removed) in case I accidentally clicked on anything!

      Like

  3. March 3, 2013 at 5:13 pm

    Lol! Nicely done, Drali!

    Like

    • March 3, 2013 at 5:35 pm

      Thanks! As mentioned in the post, inspired by a certain gold-coloured fish ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Like

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