Author Archive

FF – Document of Doom

November 13, 2019 46 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Roger Bultot.

I’m guessing most people will have heard of the subject of my story, hopefully.

Copyright Roger Bultot


An unassuming building on a nondescript street. Yet to those who know, who recognise the symbolism of the window, so much more.

A treasure lurks beyond that door, containing secrets both wonderful and terrible. Paid for in blood, sweat, and tears… oh! so many tears.

For centuries it has lain undisturbed. Until now.

The door screeches open. Figures enter, shadows banished by glaring lamps. They approach, reverently, and behold the mystical document. They read the sacred, terrifying words on its cover…

Oct 2029 Brexit Plan Revision 9323

They gasp and, trembling, peruse the awful pages.

“Hey, Deevor, what’s an ‘Irish Backstop’…?”


Sharing My World 04-11-2019

November 10, 2019 25 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What is the meaning of true love?
That’s a tricky question, so I’m going to repeat what a good friend of mine has to say about it. So I’ll hand you over to Ga’M’Chek, who hails from a small planet in what we call Orion’s Belt:

CHa meG’na gA m’reep, nee ganCa n’shi-do.

I think that says it all, don’t you?

Do acts of kindness have a motive?
Usually, I would say. Even if it’s just to feel better about oneself.

If we live in a civilised world why do we see so many distinctions between rich and poor?
“Civilised” is just a set of rules on how to behave, I reckon, nothing to do with making sure everyone has enough money. Besides, if there were no poor people there’d be no rich people either, and the rich people probably wouldn’t like that.

Do we love ourselves more in the virtual world than in the real world?
Some people do, I’m sure. Some people only seem to exist in the virtual world.

Categories: About draliman Tags:

FF – Bloated

November 6, 2019 73 comments

Here is my post for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Ronda Del Boccio.

Click on the frog for all the stories!

Copyright Ronda Del Boccio


“I’ve made a fresh batch of peach jam, dear!”

“Dammit, woman, you know peach jam gives me gas!”

“Yes, dear. I do know.” Sheila’s voice sounded smug.

Barry lost it. He’d endured a lot of straws, but this was definitely the last. Multiple scenarios flashed through his fevered mind, everything he’d ever seen on every cop show imaginable.

He decided. He grabbed a knife.

He levered every lid off every jar of peach jam and ate the lot. He bloated. Massively.

The results, later in the bedroom, were explosive.

And not in a good way.

They’re currently divorcing, citing “incompatible digestions”.


Sharing My World 28-10-2019

November 3, 2019 30 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Where’s the line between respectful disagreement and being downright mean (bullying) to someone?
They’re completely different things. The first is when two people simply disagree on something, the second is a targeted and sustained attack, usually for no particular reason.

Would you prefer to live in a world where alcohol was free or where politicians were honest?
Free alcohol sounds like chaos to me. A bit of honesty in politicians would be nice, as long as they can lie when required… “no, that wasn’t our nuclear submarine that just snuck past your main harbour…”

What’s one habit you have that your family or friends think is rather childish?
You’d have to ask them. Playing computer games, maybe?

Would you rather go to a big party and rub shoulders with the rich and famous or go to an amazing quiet garden that hardly anyone has ever visited?
Rub shoulders with the rich and famous? I can’t think of anything worse. I’ll take the garden, please!

Bodnant Garden

What do you think of the idea of “trick or treat or money for a charity” as a way of making Halloween more useful?
I pretty much forgot about Halloween this year, to be honest. I did get one visitor and fortunately had some sweets in. There’s no way we could police the charity thing. And getting all the tiny tots a charity collection licence would be a real pain…

Categories: About draliman Tags:

FF – Three in One

October 30, 2019 46 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Fatima Fakier Deria.

I’ve written three potential stories this week. In 100 words! Because I was out of ideas.


Sammy placed a sandwich in his lunchbox, grabbed his briefcase and left the house, smartly dressed as always. He reached the financial centre, sat on his usual bench and propped up his sign – “Hard worker, please hire me!”


Choose the ending!

  1. Sammy is spotted by a financier who, impressed by Sammy’s ingenuity, offers him a highly-paid job!
  2. Sammy is spotted by the manager of the local fast food joint and spends the next forty years flipping burgers!
  3. Sammy is spotted by no-one and dies three years later, unfortunate victim of a ”drug deal gone wrong”!

You decide!


Sharing My World 2019-10-21

October 27, 2019 22 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Had any good conversations with yourself lately? Did you listen to yourself? And how’d that work out for you?
I always have conversations with myself. And I always listen. If I’m not going to listen to myself (for better or worse), who am I going to listen to?

What is gravity and how does it work?
Gravity is a big sucking thing. At the centre of the Earth there’s a huge gravity wave generator, or “vacuum cleaner” to the layman, which constantly spins round and round sucking stuff down. We can only hope the bag never gets full or everyone will float off into space!

What is more real – Mind or Matter?
Is either real? Is this just a dream? Are you all figments of my imagination, or am I a figment of yours?

Dum dum dummmmm.

Should a vegetarian (or vegan) eat animal crackers?
I know this is a fun question, and just for fun I looked up the ingredients of “original” animal crackers. And I found this rather terrifying statement:

“Are animal crackers vegan? While Nabisco’s recipe is free of animal ingredients, Cole & Stewart’s sociological analysis would suggest that consuming animal crackers is ritualistically anti-vegan, as it socializes speciesist sentiments and human supremacy in children.”

Bloody hell. They’re only biscuits. I didn’t realise they were turning the world’s children into supremacist monsters.

What other popular foodstuffs are corrupting the minds of our children? Let me know in the comments!

Name (describe) something you wouldn’t want to run into in a dark and deserted wood or alley.
You’ve been avoiding him for months. Avoiding all the usual places. Then one day you forget. You get careless. You take a shortcut home. In a flash of lightning you see him. Darkness returns. Was he really there? Did you imagine him? Lightning flares again. He’s closer.

Much closer.

He opens his mouth, salivating in anticipation. He speaks.

“You thought you could avoid me? None can avoid me.”

He is the End. The Omega. The nightmare become real.

He is the Tax Collector.


Categories: About draliman Tags:

FF – Hobby

October 23, 2019 73 comments

Here’s my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Jean L. Hays.

Just a silly little one this week.

Copyright Jean L. Hays


“Ooh, what shall I sew?”

“Ugh. Another fad.”

“Hey, men can sew too!”

“Yep. But remember last time? You bought sixteen cookery books and never even managed beans on toast. Come on, I’ve arranged a hobby you’ll love!”

They entered a room. Huge TV, sound system, home cinema, games console, and who’s that on the sofa? Yes, yes it is…! Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Alba, beckoning, beckoning…

Hey, wait a minute.

This is a dream, isn’t it?

Disappointed, draliman woke up, determined that today he would conquer beans on toast. Possibly, if he were feeling adventurous, with cheese on top 😊