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Sharing My World 19-10-2020

October 25, 2020 22 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

How many people in real life or on social media (including WordPress, which has become a rather social media site) do you consider good enough friends to help you ‘hide the dead body?
I’m perfectly capable of hiding my own dead bodies, thanks. Ask someone else and you’ll forever be waiting for them to break and tell someone else. Best plan – get someone else to help with the digging, then pop them across the back of the head with the shovel and bung them in the same hole.

Are You Ready To Order? What Are You Having (craving) right now?
Nothing right now but it’s early morning. Sometimes sweet, sometimes savoury, it depends on how I’m feeling.

How’s the weather in YOUR neck of the woods?
Pretty unsettled. A heavy rain shower just finished and it’s currently 9 degrees. Through the day it’s generally reaching 12 or 13 degrees.

There has always been something.” “Before there was something, there was only nothing.” Which do you think is more likely?
Maybe there were these alien kids in another dimension who created a little universe as a school science project. After only winning third prize – after all, new universes are ten a penny – they forgot about it and it expanded. Now we live there!

Categories: About draliman Tags:

FF – Yes and No

October 21, 2020 65 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. She also provided this week’s photo.

“That little holder for the condiments. I remember when we got that.”

“Yes.”

“We bought it in that little gift shop. On our honeymoon.”

“Yes.”

“What a time we had!”

“Yes.”

“Our kids had some fun out in the garden.”

“Yes.”

“Off at university now, the pair of them.”

“Yes.”

“Studying hard. And partying hard too, I expect!”

“Yes.”

“Aaaah… we had some good times. Great times. Wouldn’t you say?”

“Yes.”

“So… what say we give it another try? The two of us? A fresh start.”

“…”

“…?”

“No.”

Sharing My World 12-10-2020

October 18, 2020 25 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Are we “here” or do we just think we are? (A metaphysical question today folks.) Can you prove your point of view?
Are we here? Am I here? Are you here? Do you exist? Are you artefacts of my subconscious, or am I product of yours? Am I leading a life shaped by another’s fevered dreams? Am I experiencing reality in the same way as you?

These and other questions will not be answered or even considered, because that’s how you go raving mad and spend the rest of your life weaving baskets.

OR DO YOU?

From an identity stand-point, which would be the worst for you personally to lose? Your face, your body or your voice? Which do YOU identify with most strongly for your own sense of self?
Well, the only one I could function without is my voice. I’d be a right state without my face or body.

Yeah, I know that’s not what the question was actually asking 🙂

Do you have a ‘song’? If you’re part of a couple, you could use “your couple’s song” OR a song that’s just always resonated with you.
Nope. ’nuff said.

Are ghosts real or has someone been smoking something and just imagines them?
No, ghosts aren’t real. Apart from Casper, obviously. He’s real. And friendly.

Categories: About draliman Tags:

FF – Sergeant Jimminy’s Final Mission

October 14, 2020 57 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by C.E. Ayr. Well, I say story… just a bit of fun!

Copyright C.E. Ayr

“That’s really pink. A real girlie boat! Does it have lace curtains?”

“You sexist pig! I’m calling the Political Correctness Police.”

Wee-wah-wee-wah screech

“Allo allo allo. I’m Sergeant Jimminy. What’s goin’ on ‘ere then?”

“He called my boat ‘girlie’ because it’s pink.”

“Whaaaaat? You scum! Scum! Get ‘im, lads.”

Aaargh! Thump! Whap!

“In the water with ‘im, lads!”

Splash! Gurgle! Drown!

“That’s that, then, love. You can always rely on me, good ol’ Sergeant Jimminy (wink wink). You get your cute little self onto your dinky pink boat and… uh-oh…”

“Sexist scum! Get ‘im, lads!”

Aaargh! Thump! Whap! Gurgle! Drown! etc

Sharing My World 05-10-2020

October 11, 2020 37 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

When was the last time you tried something new? How did that go for you?
I was going to say “I don’t know, I don’t like ‘the new'” but then I realised – the Block Editor! I know everyone seems to hate it, but I can actually put a post together faster. All the functions I need are right there in the little menus.

So, quite well!

What’s the most sensible thing you’ve ever heard someone say?
I’m not sensible enough to remember sensible things that sensible people say.

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
7,402.

Have you ever seen a ‘fresh’ corpse (aka dead body)?
I’ve never seen a corpse, fresh or otherwise. I know there’s a religion where the recently deceased can be viewed at the funeral, but there’s no way I’d want to see that, or for my empty shell to be seen once dead.

Categories: About draliman Tags:

Ramblings From The Pub 4 – Kraken!

October 7, 2020 44 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle, brought to you in Glorious Blockeditor-o-vision! This week’s photo was contributed by Sandra Crook.

Copyright Sandra Crook

“Look, some bloke’s makin’ a TV doc’ment’ry.”

“Yup.”

… seaweed strewn around. And why, we ask ourselves? Has there been a flood? The work of kids, perhaps? Or maybe… just maybe… some kind of hideous sea creature? Ha ha! In fact, there is a legend hereabouts of ‘Krakenkin’, a monster similar to the famous ‘Kraken’. Why the similarity in names? Lack of imagination on the part of the local yokels, perhaps? Ha ha! No, it is this reporter’s view that kids were responsible for…

Roooooar! Aaaargh! Eeeek! Chomp! Splatter!

“Serves ‘im right. Hoity-toity big city toff.”

“Yup.”

“’Nother pint?”

“Yup.”

Sharing My World 28-09-2020

October 4, 2020 31 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Well, hell. I’ve been “upgraded” to the block editor. I’ve been using the classic editor since July 2011 and I’m not one with change 😦

Fortunately it’s trivial to use, very intuitive. But I still don’t like change, dammit. I had to change my green font colour to blue, because the preset green is awful and I can’t be bothered to faff with custom.

And worse – in the block editor, the image showed centralised but in the preview it was left-justified. Poor show, WordPress. I had to click three button before I found the justify controls.

Where do you feel most at home? Please be more specific than “at home, doh” please. It could be a room in your home, a person, a location…
At home, doh.

Oh no, sorry. I can’t put that. In my living room, then. It has the TV and the best Echo and the PS4 and whatnot. It’s also my home office!

Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car?
A car. I’ve never ridden a horsey. I’d be too scared of falling off, and they’re living creatures with their own personalities, so who know what they might do…

And they say you never forget how to ride a bike. Lies!

What song would you sing on “Karaoke Night” (if you were forced to do so)?
“All By Myself”. I can’t sing in tune, but with that song you can turn it into a comedy, really over-dramaticising the entire thing, falling to your knees, fist in the air etc. Off-key singing would only make it funnier 🙂

University or life experience, which do you feel best prepares you for life?
Surely “life” is “life experience?

University is good preparation. It’s like a “trial” – you get many of life’s challenges, but with the safety net of various university offices behind you to help out with advice when things go awry. And go awry they will!

Categories: About draliman Tags:

FF – CASH!

September 30, 2020 46 comments

Here is my 100 word max story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Rowena Curtin.

Copyright Rowena Curtin

 

“Look what the sun’s done to that! It’s all warped and melted!”

“Wow, yes. The sunlight is hot! Just standing in it is so warming!”

“Don’t stand in it, dude!”

“Why not? It’s perfecfnjg smff. Wsds goong oon?”

“Aargh! Your face! It’s hideous! It’s melted off!” bleurgh… bleurgggghhhhh!

 

Disappearing zone layer. Global warming. It’s here. It’s now!

Do you want your face to melt off? You can help!

Send a donation to us, the Campaign Against Sun Heating, or CASH for short.

Yes, send us a donation, cheque payable to CASH!

You can make a difference!

 

Sharing My World 21-09-2020

September 27, 2020 29 comments

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World, with extra questions from Roger Shipp.

Have you ever driven the wrong way on a one-way street? How did this come about?
Streets go both ways, surely 🙂 No, I don’t remember ever going the wrong way.

As a kid, did you ever decide to run away? Did you have a plan? Take a pet? Sandwiches?
I may have, when I was very little. Or maybe it was my little brother. I (or he) only got a hundred yards away or so, though.

You suddenly found you have a hidden talent for playing a musical instrument. What musical instrument do you hope that accompanies your talent? Any particular song?
I reckon a violin. I could play jaunty jigs and annoy the neighbours.

Do you accessorize with jewellery? There was an opal necklace (cursed) and Slytherin’s locket (also cursed) in the Potter story. Have you had any heirloom jewellery passed down through the generations? Is it more ‘keepsake’ or do you wear it on occasion? (Hopefully, yours was not cursed?)
I’m not a jewellery person. I’m not married so no wedding ring, and I’m not a pimp or Mr T.

I pity da fool who wears this much bling

What ingredients go into YOUR favourite salad?
Ooh, I’ve heard of “salads”. I sometimes have a “salad” but the main ingredients are cheese and meat. So not so salad-y, really.

If you care to, share something that really irritates you.
That’s the subject for a whole new “War and Peace-sized” post.

What are your favourite ‘lounging around the house’ items of clothing? Now that a lot of people ‘lounge around the house’ waiting for the all clear in respect to Covid being shown the door, have those lounging items changed?
The same as my “going out” clothes but older versions, no longer deemed as suitable for outside wear. The jumper is a bit older, the jeans a bit tattier, but still fine for answering the door.

Categories: About draliman Tags:

FF – Vampires!

September 23, 2020 70 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Dale Rogerson.

Sorry, but if you post a photo of garlic, how can I not think “vampire”?

 

Crash!

“Argh! How did you get in? Uninvited? Past the garlic? In the middle of the day?”

“Umm…”

“You blood-drinking nightcrawlers, you should be bursting into flames!”

“Ah, I see what’s happening here. Eh, lads?”

Yeah! Ha! Happens all the time!

“We’re not vampires, dude!”

“You’re… not?”

“No! Wow, this is embarrassing! So sorry, mate!”

“I just thought… with all the bodies recently… drained of blood…”

“No! Jeez. You thought… no! No, we’re a homicidal blood cult.”

“Oh, phew… wait… what, now?”

Slice! Swish! Spurt!

“I can’t believe he thought… aw, never mind. Everyone remember to bring their ritual mugs?”

Slurp