draliman on life

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Do guns protect people or kill people? Or both?
A gun is just a tool, it’s the person pulling the trigger that kills. Technically, there’s very little reason for anyone outside of law enforcement and armed forces to own a gun (aside from pest control). Unfortunately in some countries ownership of guns has propagated so widely that people now buy guns because all the criminals have guns. It’s hard to get back from that.

Is it more important to be respected or liked?
I think I’d rather be liked. And respected. Respected. Liked. Why can’t I have both?

Like and respect me, dammit.

Is having a big ego a negative or positive trait?
I guess it’s a big positive if you’re a powerful business leader, as it’s a cut-throat environment. Unfortunately it doesn’t transfer well from big business to running a country. It just makes you look like a complete prat. Mentioning no names. Ahem.

Depending on your point of view, is death a new beginning?
Well, that’s the question, isn’t it. We’re all agreed that it’s an ending. Whether something else starts, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see!

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

In your opinion what animal is the most majestic?
Ah, that would be the majestic meerkat. Gaze in wonder as he scurries majestically around the desert, or wherever it is meerkats live. Feel that catch in your throat as he stands majestically on his hind legs, gazing with majestic solemness across the desert landscape, or the landscape of wherever meerkats live.

Truly the king of beasts.

What seemingly innocent question makes you think “It’s a trap!”?
“Does my bum look big in this? If you love me, you’ll be honest…”

What weird potato chip flavour that doesn’t exist would you like to try?
Surely every possible flavour of crisp has been already produced by now? There’s some weird stuff out there. I found a site listing some weird flavours, including squid, cucumber and cinnamon and sugar (erk!). However, it’s an American site as it also listed, as being really “out-there” from across the pond (ie. here), prawn cocktail crisps. I grew up on prawn cocktail crisps!

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make them?
Because that mistake may be our last (dum dum DUM).

How do we know that pleasure is good and pain is bad?
Because when I eat ice cream I feel good, but when I smash my toe into a large immovable object I feel bad.

What problem or situation did TV / movies make you think would be common, but when you grew up you found out it wasn’t?
Whenever I see an American film or TV and there’s a pedestrian in the road, the oncoming bus or lorry honks its horn and then just crashes right over them.

In real life, instead of wasting time honking their horn I have discovered that the oncoming traffic uses their brakes instead.

If you drive, do you speed when no one is watching? Have you ever run a red light late at night on purpose, particularly if it doesn’t seem to change very quickly? If you don’t drive, what minor law may you have broken?
Someone is always watching…

Is this hypothetical? When the roads were really really quiet as the lockdown came into force I had to hypothetically go to work one more day to collect stuff I needed to work from home. I definitely never hypothetically quickly nipped over 100mph just to try it once and see what it was like.

Hypothetically, it turns out that when your Fiesta’s top speed is over 140mph, 100mph feels the same as 70mph (the actual speed limit).

Hypothetically.

[draliman’s legal team has this to say: This never happened. This blog is fiction and no laws were broken heretofore notwithstanding hereafter and in perpetuity veni vidi vici QED. And if the onboard computer says different, it’s a lying bastard.]

What positive things are you finding to do to occupy your time right now?
Well, working 10 hours a day as usual, only from home. I’m going for a daily walk in my lunch break.

I made more pizza dough.

And I’ll be eating this Easter egg later, which unexpectedly arrived by courier from the management team at work.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Pancakes, waffles or French Toast as your breakfast favourite? 
None of those is really eaten for breakfast over here as far as I know. How about a full English breakfast instead?

And no, this is not my usual breakfast. I’d be dead by now.

Do you think a person’s name influences the person they become?
No. If my surname was “Butcher” would I have become a butcher (or a serial killer)? No! For many names it was originally the other way round, I imagine. Jed the village carpenter became Jed Carpenter for short.

Would things get better or worse if humans focused on what was going well rather than what’s going wrong?
Yes.

By which I mean, it’s good to look on the bright side, but if you ignore all the negatives, you’ll go bankrupt. Or potentially catch something nasty and die, especially at the moment.

Is maths something that humans created or something we discovered? Is looking at reality mathematically an accurate representation of how things work?
We invented maths to formalise and understand the world.

Take “zero”. That’s a recent “invention” (around the turn of BCE to CE, then developed in the early centuries of CE). Though the concept of “nothing” was always understood of course, we INVENTED zero in order to express it.

As for the second question, yes, of course. That’s how computers create such realistic images, how they recognise images and so on.

GRATITUDE – What are you grateful for right now?
My cheese arrived! Often at the moment the shops only have processed squares unless you hit it lucky and I’m not eating that shit so I ordered some online. It arrived on Thursday, here it is!

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

On A Scale Of 1-10, How Strict Were Your Parents?
I’ll assume the average is “5”, and go for “5”. I was punished when I was naughty so I learned right from wrong, but not when it was a complete accident. Like the time I was swinging a golf club in the front garden, let go and it smashed through the neighbour’s bedroom window.

I’d probably have got a reward if I’d managed to hit the neighbour too. Nasty person.

What Wastes The Most Time In Your Day To Day Life?
Hmm. One man’s waste of time is another’s hobby. Some would say playing PS4 was a waste of time. I wouldn’t.

Do They Bury People With Their Braces On? (“braces” as in the teeth ones, not the ones to keep your trousers up).
I expect they pull them out and rework them for the next person on the dentist list. Waste not, want not!

Why Does A Round Pizza Come In A Square Box?
Have you ever tried to stack and store hundreds of round boxes? Actually, have you ever seen a round box (outside of hats)? That’s why, then. There aren’t any round boxes.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World. I’m not actually sharing my world this week as there’s a big bunch of questions on St Patrick. That’s the Irish one.

Saint Patrick’s actual colour was not green. Was it red, orange or blue?
He was only green when he was ill. Generally he was orange, as he loved the fake tan.

Was Saint Patrick born in Ireland, Britain or France? 
Britain, wasn’t it? Or France. Or maybe Ireland. One of those.

How old was Saint Patrick when he was taken as a slave? 10, 13, or 16?
A slave? Who knew. That’s horrible 😦

Why is Saint Patrick’s Day celebrated on the 17th? Was it the day he was born, the day he died, or the day he got the title “Saint”?
Well, not the last one. Everyone knows “The Saint” was Roger Moore.

I have to say, when I was little I never noticed the cartoon Saint’s pose…

Is Saint Patrick’s Day always, usually or never held on the same date?
Yes.

What did Saint Patrick use to symbolise something for Christianity? Was it a stick, a shamrock, or a bird?
None of those sound very “Christian symbol”. I reckon he used his “bird”, Mrs St Patrick.

What city turns a river green every year to celebrate? Is it Detroit, Chicago, or Green Bay, U.S.A.?
Why would anyone do that?

Which year was the first St. Patrick’s Day parade (in America) held?
The year America was invented. Which was, um, okay, I don’t even know what century that was. Sixteen hundred and something?

Which US president was of Irish descent and forgot it was Saint Patrick’s Day?
I can only name five or six US presidents, it being a foreign country and all. I’ll go for Ronald Reagan, he always seemed to be forgetting things.

Is corned beef and cabbage is a traditional Saint Patrick’s Day dish?
I don’t know, but it shouldn’t be. Sounds awful.

True or False: The shamrock is the national flower of Ireland.
Sounds like a trick question to me. False. Or it could be a double-bluff. True.
False.

Where was Saint Patrick buried after he died? Britain, Ireland, or France?
In the ground.

Two of the three colours on the Irish flag are green and white. What is the third one?
Rainbow.

True or False: Saint Patrick was not actually a Saint.
False. I already said, it was Roger Moore. Or Ian Ogilvy, if you want to include the remake (“Return of the Saint”).

What do leprechauns use their sticks, called “shillelagh” for? Accessing their rainbow, turning invisible, or making their magic pot of gold appear? 
“Accessing” their “rainbow”.

Which is not true?
-Lent restrictions are dropped on Saint Patrick’s Day.
-Irish soap was invented in Ireland.
-Saint Patrick’s real name was Maewyn Succat.
The last one. It sounds Welsh. The first name anyway.

What’s the traditional occupation of a leprechaun? Thief, shoemaker, or banker?
Thief. Little buggers.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Are you a sweet, sour, tangy or other type of person? Take that as you will!
That depends on my mood. I like to think that I’m generally sweet 🙂

Does the whole coronavirus phenomenon worry you? Or are you more a “meh – it’s just another severe flu scare” type of person?
Initially I thought it was going to be another swine flu/bird flu virtual non-event. Evidently it’s a bit more than that so it’s hard not to be a little worried. For me, it’s business as usual, with a few sensible precautions. I’m more worried about my parents who are in their 80s, so I’m watching myself for signs of infection so I know not to go round there if I might be infected.

When was the last time you were snooping, and found something you wish you hadn’t?
I don’t really snoop. I bet nobody who ever snooped ever discovered anything positive.

What’s the most pleasant sounding accent in your personal opinion? Everyone has a pleasing accent to someone!
I quite like soft Irish, Scottish, Welsh and Australian accents. Also soft North of England 🙂

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Can you bake a cake?
Pretty much anyone can bake a simple cake if they have a decent enough oven and a bowl. The one I make basically involves bunging equal amounts of everything in all at once and mixing them together. Very simple! Here’s a photo of one I baked last year.

What’s one thing that can instantly make your day better?
An unexpected and massive injection of cash suddenly turning up in my bank account. That’s never happened though, so I’ll have to settle for the laugh of a small child, the blooming of the flowers, the trilling of the birdies and so on and so forth.

When you were a kid, did you eat the crusts on your sandwich or not?
I can’t remember back that far 😦 I expect I would have been told to eat them whether I wanted to or not.

What’s something your family would be surprised to learn about you?
That I’m actually a highly sophisticated android, though I prefer the term “synthetic person”. My positronic brain is currently operating at 0.01% capacity – any higher and I might accidentally solve the mysteries of the universe thus giving myself away.

None of that is true. Just in case you were wondering.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Oh boy and lawks a-lordy. When I read a couple of other SYW posts earlier this week and saw the questions I knew I’d have to be on my game vis-a-vis avoidance tactics this week. There’s no way I’m answering a couple of these – far too personal for this bloggie 🙂

What do you think of best friends of the opposite sex? Or to put it another way “Can men and women ever be platonic friends? Doesn’t sex always get in the way?”
I’ve had several platonic female friends. How could they ever resist me, you ask? It’s a strange old world, and no mistake.

What is the greatest struggle you’ve overcome?
It was back in               and I was in the               and the               said               and it was pretty              . Lucky to have               that one, as you can imagine.

I hope the redaction didn’t spoil your understanding of my struggle 🙂

What is the darkest thought you’ve ever had? What about the darkest thing you’ve done that you’ve never told anybody about?
There was that terrifying time I was thinking about a coal mine. That was pretty dark.

What is your least favourite food?
I’m not a big fan of seafood. Shrimp, prawns and so on. I’m okay with fish, though. As long as it’s not one of those posh restaurants where they’ve left the head on 😦