draliman on life

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Would you rather be a super nice person and be depressed all your life, or be happy and a total asshole?
Aw man, can’t I be both? Another really tricky choice. I demand the right to be depressed and a total asshole.

Have you ever made someone cry?
I don’t know. Possibly. That kid didn’t look too happy the other day when I stole his lollipop, but I legged it so I’m not sure of the aftermath.

Are you a dreamer or a go-getter?
I’m a dreamer. Like, I’m always dreaming of this fantastic meal I’m going to cook for tea, but come teatime I can’t be bothered and make a cheese sandwich instead.

If you were in a band, what instrument would you play?
I’d play the drums. It would be a useful outlet for my constant desire to hit stuff.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share You World.

Which would you rather throw away: Love or Money?
Well, love costs money, which I wouldn’t have since I’ve apparently thrown my money away to gain love.

Do you believe you should do one thing a day that scares you?
No! What would I try to scare myself on a daily basis? The calm, quiet life for me, thank you so very much indeedy.

What’s the last thing you do at night?
I always read my book before going to sleep, no matter what time it is.

If you could own a mythical creature (unicorn, phoenix, etc.), which one would you pick?
I’d quite like a dryad. She could look after the garden and make it all lovely. I wouldn’t “own” her though as she’s a sentient being. We’d probably end up getting married, I expect 🙂

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What was the last TV show you binge-watched? If you don’t watch TV (congratulations by the way) what’s the last thing you binged ON?
I don’t generally binge-watch anything. The definition is “the practice of watching multiple episodes of a television programme in rapid succession”. I never watch more than two episodes at a time and then rarely.

The closest I’ve come recently is “A Discovery of Witches”. I discovered the second series was only available for a week longer so I had to watch it at speed 😮

What’s your most prized possession and why?
Ha, that’s easy, it’s my… ahem. No, I can’t put that.

I don’t have a “prized possession” and never have. Most useful, most fun etc, but not most “prized”. That implies something very special/personal.

If you had the time and inclination, what would you volunteer for?
Never volunteer for anything, that’s my motto. Wait until you’re manipulated into it, then you can be all passive-aggressive and act like a martyr.

Do you think that humans will ever be able to live together in harmony?
Yes, for sure. We just need to be invaded by aliens. Then we’ll all come together as one species against them.

“Harmony through shared hatred”. Write that one down, people. It’s how the world works.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What would be the worst “buy one get one free” sale of all time?
Tell you what, I’m going to be lazy. Here’s what I wrote on the subject in 2019…

How can getting something for free ever be a bad thing? I’m all for free stuff. In fact, even if you don’t want one of something, if it’s BOGOF buy it anyway. Fill your house with useless and unwanted tat.

True then, true now!

Have you ever gotten a really bad haircut? Do share!
Not really. Unless you count the exciting side-parting cuts I had to have as a kid. Or the ones I did myself over the past year…

Isn’t Disney Land and Disney World (and all the variants) just a people trap operated by a mouse?
Definitely, according to South Park.

Lots of people enjoy going to these place, but they look too busy for me.

What if Batman got bitten by a vampire? What would happen?
He’d be able to turn into an actual bat. Very cool. Then he would be Manbat. Or Batman Bat. I’m sure “The Big Bang Theory” has covered this…

What do you want your final words to be if you could choose?
“Bugger”.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Do you think psychic abilities exist?
Do I think psychic abilities exist? I know what you think about it. How?

Because I know what you’re thinking… 😮

How would you describe peanut butter to someone who didn’t know what it was?
Some sort of brown muck. I’ve never risked it so I can’t really comment on the taste. Except to say that I don’t like peanuts so potentially I wouldn’t like it.

Why does an octopus squirt ink?
Who knows why octopuses do anything. They’re a right old mystery and no mistake. Best just to let them get on with it.

Who are two of today’s greatest entertainers in your opinion? (can be actors, musicians, singers etc)
Ooh, those funny people. The double act. You know the ones. With that joke they do. About that thing. You know. That funny thing.

Those two.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What is knowledge?
Stuff you know. I would say.

How do you define consciousness (self awareness)?
I define it as really dangerous. ‘Cos, like, when Skynet became self-aware it, like, created Terminators and destroyed the world. So it’s like, a really bad thing, innit.

Is it possible to prove that other people besides yourself have consciousness?
Other people? Are there other people? Or just figments of my imagination? Is this all just a dream? Am I in an alien zoo surrounded by human-like automatons?

Dum dum DUMMMMM.

Would you be able to tell if time had been altered in some way?
Yeah, a whole hour disappeared last week. It was freaky. But we have lighter evenings now.

How could I tell? Every clock in the house automatically told the same time, except the one on the cooker which was an hour behind.

Do you like potato chips (they’re called ‘crisps’ in Europe I believe)?
Crisps certainly have their place. I often munch some along with my lunchtime cheese roll. A packet lasts three lunchtimes. I don’t like to eat too many. Sometimes I treat myself to some quality crisps, though.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

If not now, then when?
Monday morning, about 11:07. Or possibly the week after. I haven’t decided.

Can you describe your life in a six-word sentence?
No. Um. More words. Hatstand. Banana.

Do you remember that thing people used to say, about how you swallow eight spiders a year while you sleep? It’s not true, but do you think you’ve ever swallowed any? What bug do you think you’ve eaten the most of by accident?
Urk. Gross. There are many things where I feel I’m better off not knowing, and in fact not even thinking about. And this is one of them.

What’s the best approach to resolving conflict?
First, get right up in their face and yell at them, big time. If that doesn’t work, shiv them in the kidneys.

No, wait, that can’t be the correct answer for a public forum.

You attempt to defuse the situation by calmly talking to both sides, attempting to make them see each other’s point of view. If that doesn’t work, then and only then, shiv them in the kidneys.

Gratitude
I had my first COVID jab on Monday. Yay!

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

How well do you know your next-door neighbours? Do you like them?
We exchange pleasantries now and then but I don’t really know them.

Do you have a full length mirror?
Yes, it’s attached to the wardrobe. Everybody needs a good mirror to admire themselves in 😉

Do you shave every day or do you like the ‘stubble’ look, or a beard?
I shave every day. I don’t want to end up like a hippy. Or ZZ Top 🙂

How many items of clothing are in your bedroom (or closet) and not hung up?
Loads and loads. There’s some coats and trousers on the chair. Then there’s any number of jeans and jumpers on shelves in the wardrobe. Yes, the wardrobe with the mirror on it. It’s very popular today!

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

If you could throw any kind of party, what would it be for? (Covid considerations are suspended for this question)
There are one or two political parties I wouldn’t mind throwing far, far away from time to time.

Is a picture worth a thousand words? Elaborate.
Wow, this sounds like an exam question, with that word “elaborate” at the end.

That depends on the picture and the words. A picture allows us to make up our own words, rather than read someone else’s…

Where IS Waldo?
He’s supposed to be in the picture but I can never find him. I suspect he has retired and no longer appears in person. While everyone is getting more and more frustrated trying to find him, he’s on a beach somewhere sipping piña coladas with a cartoon character half his age.

What’s the best part of waking up?
Do we wake up? Or are our dreams the reality? Are our waking hours someone else’s dream?

Dum Dum DUMMMMMMM…

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Is every piece of truth worth telling?
It’s probably best to keep some things to yourself. Randomly volunteering information such as “by the way, darling, your bum looks big in that” isn’t likely to go down too well.

Whom do you miss more Freddy Mercury or Prince?
I don’t really “miss” either of them. It’s not like we chatted every second Sunday or went out for the occasional coffee or anything. I was never a fan of Prince though, while Queen rocked.

If you could only email or text people for the rest of your life (no other form of communication), which would you choose?
Email, I guess. Much more flexible in what you can send. Text is just that – text. Even “texting” a photo uses MMS rather than SMS.

Would you prefer to work the midnight shift at a really creepy out of the way motel OR work alone for eternity?
I’d do the midnight shift. Nothing bad ever happens at creepy, out of the way motels…

What’s one secret you’re still keeping from your immediate family?
Like I’m going to answer that… 😮