draliman on life

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What news event do you vividly remember hearing about as a child, and where were you?
The thing about being a kid is that I wasn’t very interested in news. I was more interested in cartoons. However, one event I remember was the first ever shuttle launch. It was delayed a few times, but we were called into one of the classrooms each time (the one with the TV!) to watch until it took off. That was April 1981, so I was in my final year of junior school.

What is a Christmas song that makes you cringe?
I was struggling to think of one and then another blogger reminded me – “Last Christmas”, By Wham!. Why does it make me cringe? Because it’s an absolute pile of steaming shit, that’s why.

What is one place you shop(ped prior to Covid) that might have surprised people?
Absolutely nowhere, I would say. My shopping is limited to a very few fairly mainstream outlets, mostly online. Even more online currently.

What is your least favourite holiday side dish?
I’ll eat anything and everything, me. Bring it on 🙂

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Do you enjoy skiing or ice skating or if it’s warm where you are, hiking or enjoying outdoor sports?
I’ve never been skiing or ice skating. I’m sure I’d end up with a number of broken bones, and as a kid there was nowhere to do either without taking a holiday anyway. Nowadays, there’s a skating rink created over Christmas (not this year obviously), and I think there’s a dry ski slope within 100 miles or so.

It’s not too cold here – anywhere between 2 and 11 degrees. Walking rather than “hiking” is my thing, and there’s not much sports going on this year with The Covid.

Do you give to charities or homeless that you might encounter, during this time of year, more than you do otherwise?
I give via direct debit. I don’t go into town much (not at all since March) so I don’t encounter much by way of charities in the street. I don’t think that’s happening this year anyway.

What is the most enjoyable activity you engage in during December? Is it a tradition for you and your family?
There’s always my traditional Christmas Eve Die Hard and present wrapping marathon. And of course, Christmas Day with Mum and Dad, which will be different this year but still going ahead.

What changes will C-19 bring to your festive celebrations this year?
Slightly reduced I think. And I’ll likely be wearing a mask (except while eating) as I always do when visiting my parents, though my parents are getting their first vaccine jab this coming week so they’ll be somewhat protected.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What would you enjoy if you could do so without someone getting annoyed with you for enjoying it? It MUST be something you aren’t supposed to enjoy because it is “bad for you”.
Ha, there isn’t anyone to get annoyed with me for doing “bad for me” things so I do what I want heh heh 🙂

Is it okay for men to wear the colour pink?
Of course. I wore a (pale) pink shirt to a wedding a few years ago, and quite a few chaps there wore the same.

Can you curl your tongue?
I checked, and apparently I can! Hooray. I knew I had a superpower.

What, in your opinion, is the best room to put a fireplace?
Sorry to sound traditional, but the living room. It where most people spend most of their at home awake time.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What is worse than a dentist with bad breath?
A proctologist with a power drill.

Have you ever been rejected by someone that you liked, or been told that you were not good enough for somebody else?
Ha!

“Um… fancy going out for a drink after work?
“Yeah, sounds good!”
woohoo!
“Great, place round the corner at 6?”
“Yep. Who else is coming?”
Nooooooo!

Did you ever want to have toast for breakfast, only to find that all your bread was covered in green mould?
Result. Extra penicillin, set you up for the day.

Did you ever sneeze so hard that your whole body hurt?
Not my whole body but my head. Makes me worry I’ve burst a blood vessel 😦

Did you ever buy clothing on the internet that did not fit, but you wore them anyway, since you didn’t want to pay the £5 shipping charge to send them back?
No. I only buy clothes on the internet if they’re a known brand and I understand their sizing system. Most places these days have a handy size chart, as obviously one company’s “XL” is another company’s “M”.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World. We have a new COVID-themed image this week!

Is cereal soup? Why or why not?
What? No. Surely not! Milk makes me throw up anyway so all that leaves is the dry Rice Crispies. Not very soup-like.

I suppose if you wait for the cereal to get soggy and mash it all up you’d get a soup-like substance. Like gruel. Yum.

What are some interesting ways to answer everyday questions like “how’s it going” or “what do you do”?
“What’s ‘it’? You’re talking nonsense, man. You need to define your terms. Moron.”

“What do I do when? At night? During the day? When I’m out and about? Be more precise! Moron.”

(Taken from my upcoming book “How to lose friends and piss everyone off”.)

What was your favourite toy growing up?
I remember two. There was my bike. I’d cycle all around town visiting friends. The other was a cool castle my Dad made for me and my brother out of wood. Battlements, a drawbridge, it had everything!

If you have a pet, and you could ask it three questions, what would you ask?
I don’t but I’ve had cats so let’s go with a cat.

“Why are you peeing on the carpet?”
“Are you taking the piss? If you are, please take it off the carpet and outside.”
“When you look at me are you thinking about how I’d make good eating?”

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not?
I’m not a big fan of surprises. I like to know what’s coming so I can sort out my reaction in advance. I wouldn’t want to go into shock or burst into tears or whatever, that would never do 🙂

What’s your favourite zoo animal?
I’ve not been to a zoo for many years, and I’m not a big fan of animals being in zoos. They’re not as bad as they used to be of course with the tiny cages they used to have. I quite like the penguins.

What three things do you think of the most each day?
Hahaha oh goodness. Best not to say 😉

Let’s go for three other things. Work, what’s for tea, what shall I watch next.

When, if ever, is taking a human life justified?
To protect yourself or others.

Or when someone’s getting a bit annoying, obviously.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Which meal is your favourite: breakfast, lunch, or dinner?
Tea, which is “dinner”, if you like (I’m not posh enough to call it “dinner” unless it’s a meal out).

I like to choose something good to watch and relax and eat. I don’t eat breakfast at all. Even when I’m in a hotel and it’s “included” I rarely eat any. I just don’t feel hungry.

Who do you admire most in the world?
Me. I’m awesome.

No, wait, that sounds a bit arrogant and self-obsessive.

No one person. Traits and actions from lots of people.

Especially from me 😉

With the obvious restrictions in place, what do you regret not doing in the last year?
Nothing much, really. A couple of birthday family get-togethers were missed, and I haven’t been able to babysit my godson and his siblings, but apart from that, I was never really one for going out.

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

What’s the tallest building you’ve been to the top of?
I have no idea. It wouldn’t have been very high, though. Maybe a few storeys. A multi-storey car park or something.

What do you do to keep fit?
What is this “keeping fit” of which you speak?

What’s your jack-o-lantern carved to look like?
I’ve never carved one. I’ve never known anyone who carved one. Or bought a pumpkin. Halloween is getting bigger in the UK but has never been a big thing.

Fortunately it was largely cancelled this year, for obvious reasons. In fact, trick-and-treating was illegal in much if the UK due to various local lockdown restrictions.

Nothing says “super-spreader event” quite like going round loads of houses taking sweets from dozens of strangers!

Do you have hope or have you lost it?
I hope I have hope.

Hey, looks like I do have hope!

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

How many people in real life or on social media (including WordPress, which has become a rather social media site) do you consider good enough friends to help you ‘hide the dead body?
I’m perfectly capable of hiding my own dead bodies, thanks. Ask someone else and you’ll forever be waiting for them to break and tell someone else. Best plan – get someone else to help with the digging, then pop them across the back of the head with the shovel and bung them in the same hole.

Are You Ready To Order? What Are You Having (craving) right now?
Nothing right now but it’s early morning. Sometimes sweet, sometimes savoury, it depends on how I’m feeling.

How’s the weather in YOUR neck of the woods?
Pretty unsettled. A heavy rain shower just finished and it’s currently 9 degrees. Through the day it’s generally reaching 12 or 13 degrees.

“There has always been something.” “Before there was something, there was only nothing.” Which do you think is more likely?
Maybe there were these alien kids in another dimension who created a little universe as a school science project. After only winning third prize – after all, new universes are ten a penny – they forgot about it and it expanded. Now we live there!

Here is my post for Melanie’s Share Your World.

Are we “here” or do we just think we are? (A metaphysical question today folks.) Can you prove your point of view?
Are we here? Am I here? Are you here? Do you exist? Are you artefacts of my subconscious, or am I product of yours? Am I leading a life shaped by another’s fevered dreams? Am I experiencing reality in the same way as you?

These and other questions will not be answered or even considered, because that’s how you go raving mad and spend the rest of your life weaving baskets.

OR DO YOU?

From an identity stand-point, which would be the worst for you personally to lose? Your face, your body or your voice? Which do YOU identify with most strongly for your own sense of self?
Well, the only one I could function without is my voice. I’d be a right state without my face or body.

Yeah, I know that’s not what the question was actually asking 🙂

Do you have a ‘song’? If you’re part of a couple, you could use “your couple’s song” OR a song that’s just always resonated with you.
Nope. ’nuff said.

Are ghosts real or has someone been smoking something and just imagines them?
No, ghosts aren’t real. Apart from Casper, obviously. He’s real. And friendly.