Drali Two Point Oh
Daily Prompt: Clone Wars – If you could clone yourself, how would you split up your responsibilities?
Faster. Stronger. Better.
Day minus 1: The lab is prepared. The growth solutions are ready. My DNA has been extracted, sequenced and enhanced. Tomorrow we begin the cloning process. Our goal? To produce Draliman 2.0. Faster. Stronger. Better.
Day 1: My DNA has been added to the solution. The solution has been solutificated and the electrodes have been electroned. Let life be created. Ha ha, ha ha ha, ha HA HA HA!
Day 5: My creation is maturing nicely. Although still only partially formed, I look forward to the day when he emerges. He will have the intelligence to complete my daily workload and the stamina to see it through. His enhanced memory will replace my calendar and my sat-nav. He will have the confidence and self-assurance to go where no Draliman has gone before!
Day 9: My excitement grows. My clone has almost reached full maturity! I will soon be able to enjoy the better things in life, while Draliman 2.0 goes about the more mundane tasks.
Day 10: My clone is ready. May my new life begin! I release him from the solution and wrap him in a towel. Wait – he is about to speak! His first words…
“Wha… wha… what’s on the telly? X-Factor! Awesome!”
Disappointment fills my bones. Another failure. But I shall not be downhearted. I shall place him with the others and start again!
“Home of the failed clones” by DraliDoodles(TM)
(5 days pass)
Day minus 1: The lab is prepared. The growth solutions are ready…
Begone Foul Song
Daily Prompt: Earworm – What song is stuck in your head (or on permanent rotation in your CD or MP3 player) these days? Why does it speak to you?
I speak here of a song so foul, so insidious, that all who hear it are lost forever!
With that rather melodramatic start, I actually don’t have time to speak for long as I only get 45 minutes for lunch, but I couldn’t let this one pass me by.
I am, of course, referring to that “song” in the film Gremlins. It goes a little like this:
“na na na NA na na, na na na NA na na, na na na naaa na na na na na naaaa”.
Okay, it doesn’t go a lot like that. There aren’t any words so it’s hard to write down. I’d upload a video except I don’t have video-uploading capabilities, and there’s probably all sorts of copyright issues anyway. For those of you who have seen Gremlins, I think it forms part of the starting/closing titles, and is also “sung” by the Gremlins themselves during the film. The film was on over Christmas (as it often is) – I recorded it and watched it some time in January.
This song is so insidious, it has latched into my brain and won’t let go. This song ain’t for shifting. In fact, I believe it has actually burned new neural pathways into my grey matter – only an F-MRI scan will tell us for sure (maybe – neurologists please correct me on this – can we pull music directly from a person’s brain or is that still under development?).
I hear it in the shower, I hear it in bed, I hear it in the car. I have to turn up my stereo to drown in out.
“And next up on X Factor auditions, it’s draliman with his rendition of ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’!”
“Thanks.” (Clears throat.) “na na na NA na na no wait, can I start again, thanks.” (Clears throat.) “Somewheeeere over the raiiiinbow, na na na NA na na oh bugger, forget it.”
I’d actually almost gotten rid of it, and then this Daily Prompt came along and it all came flooding back. Thanks for that, Daily Prompt 🙂
Small Change
Things change. People, places, things. That’s life. No change means stagnation.
Stagnation? Bring it on. I hate change. Change is for other people. I’ll happily stagnate, thank you very much.
Small Change. Lunch is on me!
Last week brought me change in abundance. Nothing major, just small changes, but lots all at once.
These are all things which wouldn’t even be an issue for 99.9% of the population. They’d look at me as if I were mad.
I was already in a bad head space. A website we’ve been working on for months was about to go live and I was in a right state.
In my mind, I make a small error in the code. Everything goes wrong. The world ends.
(Please note – I don’t program nuclear missile systems. Therefore the world is not actually in any danger.)
Here’s the “small change” part. Along with this going on:
- The road near my house is under repair. Bits keep getting closed. I need this road to get to work, otherwise I’d need to change my route.
- The supermarket where I do my weekly shop has been refitted. The parking system has changed and everything inside has moved around.
- The petrol station where I fill up my car every fortnight has closed for a refit for up to 28 weeks. I will need to get my petrol elsewhere.
- And the icing on the cake – the barber I have been visiting since I was but a little lad is closing! Nooooooo.
Too much change in such a short time. So what happened?
- The website’s fine.
- The road works have yet to deny me access to work.
- I found everything in the supermarket without any trouble.
- I bought petrol at the garage around the corner.
- My hairdresser is moving 5 doors down and has given me her card so I can book my next appointment.
So, no need to panic, then. I knew there never really was, but my stupid brain keeps going off on one. It’s not under my control in these situations. It won’t listen to reason.
Does anyone have the number of a really good psychiatrist?
The Time of Reconciliation
Dr Franklin was walking through the town’s plaza with his official Guide, enjoying the warmth of Tranek Major’s twin suns when the bells rang.
“What’s that all about?” he asked.
“It is the Time of Reconciliation. For exactly one hour in every month, the Rule of Law is suspended for those who have filed an official Tak’reh, or grievance, against another. Some talk things through, though violence is not uncommon. Some deaths are inevitable.”
“By the Mercies, that’s madness!” exclaimed Franklin. Looking around he saw some people arguing. In the distance a couple were hitting each other.
The Guide shook his head sadly. “And still you continue to insult our ways. Did you not read the Rules of Entry upon your arrival at the spaceport?”
“I assumed it was the usual stuff,” replied Franklin. “No hats to be worn on the day of rest, don’t walk on the grass, that sort of thing, common to a dozen different worlds.”
“Indeed, one would not wish to walk on the grass. Incurring a Tak’reh from the Department of Parks is inadvisable. One finds that they have long memories, short tempers and all manner of sharpened gardening implements.”
“Mercies above!” Franklin exclaimed.
“And when I took you into my home and you complained about the room I gave you, did I not once again exhort you to read the Rules of Entry?”
Franklin’s face went ashen.”You, uh, didn’t file one of these Tak’reh things against me for that, did you?”
“Of course not! You are a visitor to our world after all, and I am above such minor indiscretions.”
Franklin’s look of relief changed to wide-eyed shock as he looked down at the knife protruding from his chest.
“However,” continued the Guide, “you insulted my wife’s cooking. I’m afraid that won’t do, Dr. Franklin. No, that won’t do at all.”
A Poem Poem
Having read this over I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. But I’m going to hit “Publish” anyway!
Just a bit of fun 🙂
There’s one thing I can’t do
And that thing’s a poem
There’s them say I’m rubbish
So I thought “I’ll show ’em”!
There’s long poems, short poems
All different sorts
Some of them quite profound
Others mean nought.
There’s some lines that rhyme
And there’s others that don’t
Some lines are couplets
And sometimes they float.
A haiku’s a poem
That comes from Japan.
It’s carefully structured
I’m quite a big fan!
Ideas in words
Structured in punctuation
Mind blowing colour.
So come on you writers
And give it a go!
You might be quite good
You just never know.
Rain On Me
Daily Prompt: Turn, Turn, Turn – For many of us, winter is blooming into spring, or fall hardening into winter. Which season do you most look forward to?
Well, this is a tricky one. Once upon a long ago, when I was but a wee lad, we had seasons. We had a fresh spring, a hot summer (in Cornwall that’s anything above 23 degrees), a blustery autumn and a cold crisp winter.
We now have a mish-mash of seasons throughout the year. Sure, it’s generally warmest around July/August and coldest around December/January, but if there’s one thing we can count on, it’s the rain. Okay, so the last couple of weeks have been quite pleasant with lots of sun, but two degrees in April isn’t my idea of “spring”, sun or no sun. And now it’s raining again so we’re back to “the new normal”.
What happened? Why did the seasons all roll into one? I don’t know. Something to do with jet streams or El Nino or whatnot I expect.
So here’s a breakdown of seasons, along with some badly written poetry!
Spring – cool to warm, raining
Ah, spring, when all the little buds appear on the trees, grass is green, new life appears and it’s raining. I’m not a huge fan of spring. It’s neither one thing nor the other.
New life awakens
The last frost dies
Gentle promise
Of new possibilities
The world glitters
With fresh morning dew
A new beginning.
Summer – warm, occasionally approaching “hot”, raining
I had a rubbish summer holiday last year. I didn’t go anywhere. I left my flat three times in two weeks. I’ve never seen rain like it. It rained so hard my car filled with water. I’m talking an actual puddle. I had to bail it out. Rubbish.
Burning sun assaults the road
Burning off the winter’s cold
Children laughing in the street
Tarmac melts beneath their feet
People smiling everywhere
No-one seems to have a care
Then it starts raining again and it all turns to shit.
Rubbish.
Autumn – getting cooler, windy, raining
This is the “Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness” according to Mr Keats. I have to say, this is the one season which reminds me of my childhood. Collecting leaves to bring into school to stick into my exercise book. Conker fights. The Harvest Festival. Could this be my favourite season? I don’t think so, just a season which reminds me of good times long since gone.
Trees a sea of red and gold
Gentle breeze caresses
Life slipping
Towards sleep.
Winter – cold, occasional snow, frost, raining (which subsequently freezes before raining again)
Winter’s not so bad, really. The only reason I don’t like snow is because I have to drive to work. I love the dark evenings where I can go home to a lovely warm home, close the curtains and snuggle up. And of course, winter has Christmas in it!
Flakes of perfect symmetry
Drifting, swirling
Nature’s dance.
Blanketed in white
The world sleeps
Awaiting a new day.
And there you have it. It rains a lot.
Which season do I most look forward to? I really don’t know. They all have something beautiful about them.
Now it’s time to enjoy the season of spring! Take walks, enjoy the daffodils and watch the trees burst to life. And maybe take some poetry lessons.
Everything in Moderation
Prompts for the Promptless by Rarasaur: True Cost is a term for the often-overlooked, comprehensive expense of something, including the time-related and emotional costs.
Worst case scenario…
So drink responsibly!
Drink Aware
Alcoholics Anonymous
Picture credits (Creative Commons licence):
“Vodka Sobieski” – Kamil Porembinski
“Drunk Havaneise” – “Barry from London”
“South Western Ambulance” – Graham Richardson
“Berlin Cemetery” – Maximilian Schönherr
My Childhood Friend
Daily Prompt: Prized Possession – Describe an item you were incredibly attached to as a child. What became of it?
As a child I had a wonderful friend. He was small, only a couple of inches high, made of wood and covered with soft brown hair. He would sit on my bedside table and I would stroke him before I went to sleep.
I called him, in my childlike way, “Cuddly Bear”.
He was an aged bear. He was my Mum’s childhood friend too. In time his fur began to grow thin and then one day a small chunk of his head fell off.
Hey, don’t laugh ;-).
I was so mad at him. I renamed him “Rough Cuddly Bear” and wouldn’t talk to him for ages. Eventually of course I forgave him.
After all, it wasn’t his fault he was falling to bits. I hope I look as good at his age. I guess if part of my head falls off it’ll be fairly fatal.
Right now he’s in a wardrobe somewhere at my parents’ house, I think. I’m all grown up now and I don’t need furry little friends, and to prove it here’s a photo I just took of my bookcase.
Draliman’s bookcase. I’m hard as nails, me.
Oh. Er. Um. Who put those soft toys there? They’re not mine. Is that an Ally McBeal box set? Surely there’s been some mistake.
Um.
Update 28/04/2013 – I found him! There is a picture of him here.
Questions Answered
Wow. I’m so behind in my post reading. I just read Awardification written last week by one of my favourite bloggers, Goldfish. There was some talk of awards and whatnot but I saw my name in there somewhere and a list of questions to answer, posed by Goldfish herself.
There may be more award-related stuff to do but it’s all very confusing so I’m just going to answer the questions, and take the consequences! ‘Cos I’m a rebel.
Goldfish asks:
“The Foxglove Massive” by DraliDoodles(TM)
Do you remember what it was like to be short? I don’t mean adult short, but kid short, like 2 feet tall. (I don’t. That’s why I’m asking.)
I have one vivid memory of being little. We had foxgloves in our front garden and I remember that they towered above me. Years later, when I’d grown up, I saw more foxgloves and was surprised that they were shorter than I remembered. Very disappointing.
How tall are you?
I’m around 5 foot 8 inches tall. That’s right. Feet and inches. The UK is a confusing mixture of Imperial and metric measurements. Officially I’m 1.7 metres tall. We used to be all Imperial and then along came Europe with their directives and now we’re metric. Sort of. A pint of beer is still a pint. If asked my weight, I’d tell you 9 stone. Which is a massive lie, but I’d give it in stones and pounds rather than kilogrammes. Everything is officially metric apart from road-related stuff, which is miles and miles per hour, though all car speedometers also have km/hr on them in case we go driving in Europe. Damn you, Europe, and your modern ways.
What is your favorite genre of movies?
Tricky – that depends on my mood. Sci-fi, fantasy, action, comedy. Something like that.
Do you drive to work or take public transportation? How long does it take you?
I drive to work. It takes me around 8 minutes (5.4 miles). A little too far to walk. Cornwall is not great for public transport. Last time I checked, to get to work I would have to take a train into Truro and then find a bus. It would take around an hour to an hour and a half. And I’d either be really really early or slightly late.
What is your favorite moment of an average work day? For example, mine is getting home to see my dog.
I don’t play favourites. It starts. It ends. I guess maybe the end.
What was your favorite candy as a kid? Is it different now that you’re an adult?
Yorkie bars. Big chunky chocolate. I don’t eat those any more because I get addicted to chocolate and then I have to buy bigger trousers.
If you could pick one food item to eat as much as you want without any health consequences for the rest of your life, what would you pick?
Easy – pizza! Mmmmmm, Pizza.
“Talkin’ to Drali” by DraliDoodles(TM)
What actor or actress would play you in the story of your life?
I have absolutely no idea. Who could possibly be more qualified to play me than me? Okay, maybe Robert De Niro. He wouldn’t be right playing me, but he could keep saying “You talkin’ to me?” all the way through. That would be cool.
How far do you live from where you were born?
About 7 miles. I’ve lived and worked in Surrey (near London), Stuttgart (South Germany) and Cork (South coast of Ireland) but for various reasons I’ve returned to my roots!
I’m going to write a check to your favorite charity. To whom should I make it out?
Wow, that’s really generous of you, thanks! Please make your cheque payable to me and I’ll, um, make sure the money reaches its destination. No? Okay, Macmillan Cancer Support then.
Do you like your first name or do you wonder what the H your parents were thinking?
Hmm, “Alistair”. Tricky to spell is the problem here. Alistair, Alister, Alasdair, the list goes on. “Fred” would have been easier. However, “Ali” does lend itself to “Dr” on the front and “man” on the back – draliman! Yay, thanks parents!
Thanks for the the questions!
Too much time
I’ve been shamed. I’ve been guiltified. One of my fellow bloggers has asked why there are so few posts waiting in her reader. Where has everyone gone?
I’m one of the non-posting culprits. Okay, I’m notorious for having a post-spurt and then going ominously quiet, which is what has just happened. So this is basically a post to tell you all where I’ve been the last couple of weeks.
Nowhere! That’s where I’ve been. In fact I’ve haven’t even been at work since Tuesday, and therein lies the problem (well, part of it anyway). Too much time on my hands.
Strangely, the more time I have, the less I seem to do. I decide not to do anything “right now” because I’ve got so much time, I can easily do it later. And then I don’t.
I’m great if I’ve hardly got any time at all. I can bang stuff out just like that. It’s not just writing posts either. If, say, the bathroom floor needs a clean and I have twenty minutes free, I’ll rush right in there and do it. If, however, I have a couple of hours free I’ll do it “later”.
Of course, when it comes to posting, there’s the whole “inspiration” thing as well. Sometimes I’ll get all inspired by the Daily Prompt, sometimes I just think that I have nothing to say on the subject. I probably could if I tried but I don’t take the time to think. I’m either working, or watching TV or reading. I rarely sit down and just think. I’ve found a couple of old photos and I’m hoping to get some poetry inspiration from them, though poetry’s not really my thing. Let’s see how that goes.
How about you? Do you see loads of free time and get loads done, or are you better when time is short?
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