Posts Tagged ‘Fantasy’

The Epic Tale of Eric Thane Part 1

October 30, 2011 Leave a comment

About the author: This poem is the work of the semi-great poet Dralimanakos (ca. 470BC). Although famous for his bad rhyme and lack of grandeur, Dralimanakos was known throughout the land as “someone who really tried quite hard”. This poem, his greatest work, has been faithfully translated from the original Greek by a dedicated team of bored historians.

Come hither, one and all, and hear a tale of heroes and adventure. Hear ye, dear listeners, the tale of unlikely hero of old, Eric Thane!

Part 1, in which Eric listens to a bard and leaves home in search of a great prize.

We meet our hero
Meet our hero, learn his name
Gunther’s brother, Eric Thane
Gunther, he was proud and strong
But Eric? Everything was wrong
Short of stature, rumpled hair
Some would say, “It isn’t fair!”
But nothing ever got him down
Always smiling, ne’er a frown
He never shirked, he did his bit
He worked the fields, he shovelled shit.

Eric makes a decision
Then one day while watching sheep
(It was a fairly boring week)
A famous bard he came to stay
By telling stories, paid his way
He sang of kings and armies vast
He told of famous battles past.
One such tale had all ears open
Of a diamond, long since stolen
Eric heard with widened eyes
The story of this fabled prize
No man knew where now it was
Just that it lay to the north
Eric heard the jewel held magic
To hear it’s lost is surely tragic!
So Eric made a plan that day
That come the morn’, he’s on his way
Towards the north, that jewel to seek
Even if it took all week!

Eric’s first fight
And so next day he sallied forth
Heading up towards the north
Light of step and glad of heart
Armour, sword, he looked the part.
He wandered far across the land
Grass and forest, hills and sand
Some weeks on he reached Great Wood
The tales about it weren’t good
But Eric’s heart was brave and stout
No such tales would keep  him out!
Some way in he found a hive
Honey sweet would help him thrive!
He took his sword and cut it down
But then his smile turned to a frown
The bees they swarmed all o’er the place
Stinging him on hands and face.
While braving fending off a bee
Missed his step, did stumble he
Arm outstretched to save him harm
Fell on his sword and cut his arm.
Finally he left the wood
It hadn’t really gone so good
Throbbing arm, no food, no honey
He realised he’d need some money
So from the wood he headed down
Towards a quiet little town.

In Part 2, we’ll join Eric as he continues his adventures and meets the dreaded Siren of the Marsh!

Categories: Poems Tags: , , ,