Denied
Here is my entry for this week’s Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle! This week the photo was taken by Dawn M. Miller.
Copyright Dawn M. Miller
With barely a sound the skylight slid open and a dark figure slipped down on a harness to hover just above the display cases. A bead of sweat escaped from underneath his balaclava to drop with a splash on the toughened glass covering the priceless jewellery.
The rope jerked, making the figure look up to see his associates gesticulating – “Hurry up”! He reached down tentatively, carefully, when suddenly…
… the scene changed to a cartoon rabbit.
“Hey, I was watching that!”
“You’ve seen it before, love.”
“No, this is Jewellery Heist Seven – One Last Job!”
“WATCH THE CARTOON!”
“Yes dear.”
You can check out other entries for this week’s Friday Fictioneers here.
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Friday Fictioneers
draliman on life 
Funny, he was obedient to her, watching what she ordered! Wonder why the cartoon though?
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I guess he obeyed because, hey, anything for a quiet life! I also reckon that after having to watch the first six “Jewellery Heist” films a cartoon is a welcome change.
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haha ^^ i enjoyed this. you got me there
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I’m glad you enjoyed it! 🙂
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LOL that’s exactly what happens in my house whenever hubby watches another B movie for the nth time 🙂
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Ha yes, you show him who’s boss 🙂
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I think many can relate to that one. 🙂
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I think you’re probably right! 🙂
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cute story 🙂 A sign of a good marriage LOL
Small critique: you use a couple words twice in one sentence. It would make the piece stronger if you switch it up. Specifically ‘slid’ in sentence one and ‘drop’ in sentence two
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Thanks!
And thanks for the critique – darn, I missed those. You should have seen the duplicates I removed from the first draft :-). I can’t believe I missed the two “slids” especially. Isn’t it funny how you can start to miss things after a while – I’m thinking that maybe it would be a good idea to write and edit it, then leave it alone and go back to it a couple of hours later with a fresh eye.
Edit: I have made the two little edits – thank you again for spotting that 🙂
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I have this vision of the guy engrossed in the heist film and suddenly being wrenched from it watch a cartoon?? What sort of woman would do such a thing?
Must be a good story to generate a comment like that, so well done to incite me so.
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Thank you 🙂
I think it’s the sort of woman who’s finally had enough of the endless heist films, all of which, to her eyes, are identical!
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Dear Draliman,
And this is why my husband and I have more than one TV. 😉 When we had only one I was subjected to an entire day of COPS. I’m still traumatized. Nice one.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Sounds like a very wise move 🙂
I just looked up COPS on IMDB to see what it was and apparently it’s into its 25th season. Surely that’s too much real-life law enforcement for anyone!
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I have reread your story over the past few days and enjoyed the twist. You do those do well.
Words are powerful when written so simply. I realized I wanted to be the woman who could change a channel and have that action respected or at least honored.
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Thanks! The beauty of 100 word fiction is that every word must count so it has to be written simply and succinctly.
It is good for your partner to at least give you some control over what to watch!
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Argh! I hate when that happens. If it is a good enough show or movie you can watch it repeatedly. It’s not like there is an abundance of good shows.
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Very true – I’ve watched some of my favourite programmes and films many times over and I still enjoy them immensely, more than a lot of the new often sub-standard stuff.
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