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Posts Tagged ‘Friday Fictioneers’

FF – Not So Modern Tech

March 25, 2020 67 comments

Here is my contribution for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Jeff Arnold.

Copyright Jeff Arnold

 

“Wow, amazing! Feel those keys! What is it?”

“Ahem. A typewriter, Sir.”

“I see, yes! It writes as you type. Ingenious! Magnificent! A work of art!”

“Would Sir wish to purchase?”

“Of course! How do you connect the WiFi?”

“WiFi, Sir? WIFI? It has no WiFi!”

“What, now? No WiFi? What a stinking pile of crap!”

“Your language, Sir, forces me to eject your presence. I shall take a Polaroid of your aspect for our ‘banned’ wall.”

Click! Bzzzz. Whirrr.

“Oh, wow! A photo came out, ready made! Magnificent! I want one! I assume it Bluetooths to my Instagram?”

“GET OUT!”

 

FF – Ramblings from the Pub Part 3 – No Big Thing

March 18, 2020 52 comments

Here is my contribution to Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by J Hardy Carroll.

Copyright J Hardy Carroll

 

“I say, what spiffing advertising! Look, darling! A car atop a plinth!”

“My, yes! Let’s go inside. I say, you, scruffy unkempt local person, where’s the door?”

“Up thar. In th’ car.”

“What ho, that’s pretty rum! Let’s fetch a ladder! What fun! Thanks, aged country bumpkin!”

 

“Jed, wha’re them city folks a-doin wi’ that thar ladder?”

“I tol’ ‘em the diner were up thar.”

“In th’ car?”

“Arr.”

“Dumb townies. Look, it’s-a startin’ ta fall unner the weight.”

Crump!

“Two less city folks, ah reckon.”

“Arr. No bad thing.”

“No bad thing.”

“Pint?

“Arr.”

 

FF – Cure

March 12, 2020 57 comments

Here is my contribution for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by CE Ayr.

I’m a bit late this week. A combination of too much work and lack of ideas. So I ended up with this one in the end. Don’t you just hate it when you have ideas for lots of stories, but can’t think of any actual endings…?

Copyright CE Ayr

 

He listened to the trickle of the fountain. The only sound.

Alone. All alone. Maybe the last human?

Virus had spread panic. They they came. Visitors.

From another world.

Promised a cure. Governments agreed.

They delivered the cure. People got better.

They had saved us! Cured the virus.

Their virus.

Then people stopped giving birth. Slowly. Surely. The population dwindled.

Hell of an invasion plan. Virus, to “cure”, to sterility, to… a nice empty planet, ripe for colonisation.

His breathing slowed, stopped. The last human?

If a fountain trickles and there’s no-one to hear it, does it make a sound?

 

FF – Salt of the Earth

March 4, 2020 54 comments

Here is my contribution to Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This weeks’ photo was contributed by Roger Bultot.

Copyright Roger Bultot

 

“Tamatahs, 50p the pahhhhhnd…”

“Um excuse me, sir, you don’t have any, um, tomatoes…”

“It’s wot I say, guv’nor. How abaht some nice apples?”

“Oh, yes, please!”

“Why not make it da full staircase?”

“…?”

“Apples ‘n pears. Stairs.”

“Oh, yes, of course! You salt of the Earth chaps with your Cockney rhyming slang!”

“Salt of da WHAT?”

SMACK!

“Umph…”

Hey, Harry, that means grass roots working geezer!

“Ah, shit. Sorry. Here’s some apples on da haaas, I’ll stick ‘em in dis bag wiv yer teef.”

“Umph…”

“’Av a good suck on dem ‘til yer mouf is fixed…”

“Umph…”

“Tamatahs, 50p the pahhhhhnd…”

 

FF – Dead but not Forgotten

February 26, 2020 74 comments

Here is my contribution to Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Dale Rogerson.

 

“I say, Carruthers, this is jolly good!”

“It is, Pinkerton! Who would have guessed that reanimated bodies could put on such a show? It’s a theatrical revolution, by Jove!”

“They found the reanimation artefact in an Egyptian tomb?”

“Indeed so, Pinkerton. Undead actors are just the start… look, the final dance number!”

“Oh, I say, that actor’s leg just fell off. Been dead too long?”

“What ho, you’re right! I SAY, POOR SHOW DOWN THERE, JOLLY POOR SHOW!”

Unseen eyes watched Carruthers from backstage. His heckling had crossed a line. And it did look like they’d need a new actor…

 

FF – Ramblings from the Pub Part 2

February 19, 2020 71 comments

Here is my contribution to Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Dawn Miller.

 

“Yeah, he had total tunnel vision.”

“Wow.”

“He couldn’t see anything unless it was right in front of his face.”

“Sounds nasty.”

“Yeah. The latest fad. Gym every night. Then no more gym. Night clubs every night. Then no more night clubs.”

“So what happened to him?”

“Hit by a bus. Never saw It coming. Very sad.”

“Very sad… sorry, I didn’t think you meant literal, medical tunnel vision.”

“What? No! Got obsessed with an online dating app. Head buried in his phone, didn’t like the look of someone, swiped left, BAM!”

“Karma.”

“Karma. Pint?”

“Yep.”

 

FF – Armageddon Averted

February 12, 2020 56 comments

Here is my contribution for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle, who also provided the photo this week.

I got to thinking what I would be doing if the weather looked that bad.

 

Ring ring!

“Hello?”

“Beelzubub? Gabriel here. What’s the hold up? We’re standing here, swords aflame, looking like a load of numpties.”

“Never fear! We’ve made it really cold and miserable to keep the mortals indoors.”

“And?”

“We’ve built a video game called ‘Armageddon’. Everyone will play it ‘cos they can’t go out and when they click ‘Armageddon – Start Now’, we’re off! Angels vs demons smackdown! Yeah!”

“Starting a game called ‘Armageddon’ does NOT start Armageddon. Idiot.”

“Don’t you talk to me like that!”

“Go to hell.”

“Already there!”

Good job demons are so stupid or the Earth would be in a right mess…

Um…