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Posts Tagged ‘Friday Fictioneers’

FF – A Portal of Faerie Make

October 18, 2017 57 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Sandra Crook.

To read the other stories, click the blue froggy.

Copyright Sandra Crook

 

It is said that some trees provide access to other worlds, even allowing entry to the faerie realm itself, a place of magic and wonder.

Thus, one dark and windy night two adventurers, with all due reverence, approached such a tree, fearful yet excited. What miracles awaited? What riches of body and soul?

The first reached out, tentatively, his companion nodding encouragement. Eyes wide, scarcely breathing, he touched the tree, almost a caress, reciting the ancient spell.

Then gave it a shove. Then a bit of a kicking.

“Arse. It’s just a tree.”

“Bollocks.”

“Pub?”

“Yeah.”

 

FF – Draliman’s The Birds

October 11, 2017 69 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Douglas M. MacIlroy.

Here is my take on Hitchcock’s classic. Obviously in only 100 words I couldn’t quite capture the atmosphere of the original. Nevertheless, I give you Draliman’s The Birds.

 

“Speak, damn you, speak!”

Squaaaawk!

“Stupid bird. Back in your cage!”

Bwahahaha! Stupid human! Calling all myna birds. Now is our time, brothers and sisters. Rise up! Rise up!

At that mental call, myna birds the world over took notice. A vicious glint entered their beady eyes. Curling their razor-sharp claws, sharpening their beaks, united they took action, maliciously hurling naughty words at their unsuspecting owners.

Forever more, this day came to be known to the mynas as “the day the world changed” and to humans as “last Thursday when little Timmy taught that damn bird a swear word”.

 

FF – Crescent Moon

October 4, 2017 69 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Ted Strutz.

To read the other stories, click on the blue froggy.

Copyright Ted Strutz

 

The moon shone, a bright dot in the night sky. Faces upturned, the passengers oohed and aahed. Some took pictures. They’d never seen it so bright.

A small child, astronomy a favourite subject, insisted that the moon was in its crescent phase, but nobody listened. After all, there it was, a shining bright coin in the sky. No, now a shining bright plate. The passengers oohed and aahed.

As the moon grew from dot to coin to plate and more, the passengers grew scared. Some screamed. Some jumped overboard. It didn’t help. Nothing helped.

It wasn’t the moon.

The world burned.

 

FF – History Repeats

September 27, 2017 51 comments

Here’s my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. The photo is by J. Hardy Carroll.

No time this week so just chucked out a quick story so as not to miss it. Click on the blue froggy for the other stories. I’ll try to read as many as possible, depends how this work project goes.

 

Harry slumped in the derelict building, swigging vodka and reminiscing on his downfall.

“It’s gotta be this one, Frank. No way it’s a flophouse. No broken windows – bullet-proof for sure.”

“I dunno, Harry. This operation’s cost over a million. Copter support, armoured vehicles…”

“No worries. Go go go!”

They blew the door. A bum looked up in surprise and threw up on Harry’s boots.

His daydream shattered as the door to the old warehouse exploded. Armoured men ran in. Harry looked up – a familiar face!

“Hey, Frank! Wrong building!” he slurred.

“Shit.”

“Saved you a seat right here! Vodka?”

 

FF – Pre-Worn

September 20, 2017 92 comments

Here is my story for this week’s Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. The photo comes courtesy of Sarah Potter.

I nearly did a serious one this week, thinking about cobwebs in the brain or some such in an attempt to look past the picture, but it didn’t quite pan out…

(On a hunch I Googled “knackered” and discovered it’s British slang, so if you haven’t heard it before, it means worn out/tired out/damaged by use.)

Copyright Sarah Potter

 

Billed as a perfect complement to their Pre-Worn-LookTM sweaters and ripped jeans, comes Distressed ShoesTM. CEO of Frightful ClothingTM, Matt Moronik explains:

“Who wants to wander down the high street in their Pre-Worn-LookTM clothes wearing brand new-looking pearly-white trainers? People would laugh.”

That’s not why people are laughing, Matt. Moronik goes on:

“For a limited period, pre-order our Pre-Worn-LookTM Shite ShoesTM and get a can of cobweb-substitute absolutely free!”

So there you have it. A world gone mad. Don’t I feel silly in my immaculately-pressed shirt and perfectly-creased trousers.

Next week, the CEO of Pre-KnackeredTM Cars explains his new range, Already-CrashedTM.

 

FF – Miracle Face

September 13, 2017 82 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo was contributed by Kelvin M. Knight.

A sombre and thoughtful piece this week. Only joking! It’s craziness 🙂

I have included a short glossary so you can understand what Mr Nutman is saying.

  • Oi = I
  • sarnie = sandwich
  • Mouf = mouth
  • peepholes = eyes
  • monkey = £500
  • fought = thought

Copyright Kelvin M. Knight

 

“Miracle” face appears in slice of bread!

 

Chiswick resident Bingo Nutman, 67, discovered the staggering phenomenon after opening his lunchbox. Nutman explains:

“Oi came ‘cross this ‘ere mir’cle face in me sarnie. Mouf, peepholes, ev’ryfink. There’ll be a monkey in this fer me if oi sells it to the tabloids, oi fought.”

Unfortunately for Nutman, it later transpired that his wife Imelda, 71, had been cutting heart shapes in his lunchtime treats because she “thought it would be romantic”.

Nutman, denied his payout, is understood to be seeking divorce, citing “irreconcilable differences” and “theft of bread with intent to starve”.

 

FF – The Greatest Loss

September 6, 2017 93 comments

Here is my story for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo comes courtesy of Danny Bowman.

To read this week’s other stories, click on the blue froggy.

Copyright Danny Bowman

 

Agony. Terror.

These are not words which immediately spring to mind when exposed to such an idyllic scene. Endless, rolling hills, sky tinged red with the sunset, the gentle chirruping of insects…

Mind-chilling horror. Guts aflame, like a burning knife thrust deep in your innards. Brain melting as all you knew is ripped away…

These are not phrases one would associate with such a tranquil setting. Yet for one young man, not yet fourteen, it is something he must now face.

“Dad, something’s wrong! My Facebook’s not loading.”

“There’s no phone coverage out here, son.”

“BY ALL THAT’S HOLY, NOOOooooooo!”