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Happy Messages

Last week was a strange week. The week before last I realised I had a load of holiday backed up, and very little time in which to take it! So I booked Monday to Thursday off last week. Usually I have weeks to work myself up to a holiday, but this came upon me rather suddenly.

On Monday, I was ill! This was most disagreeable. This is the first time I’ve had anything worse than a cold since early 2003 (when I had pneumonia), so it came as a bit of a surprise. I’d forgotten how rubbish it feels to be unwell. Even the pneumonia was no big deal – no pain, no discomfort, just a bit breathless. A couple of days in hospital and that was that.

This time I actually threw up! The first time in over eleven years. Yuck 😦 . I can’t even remember when I was ill before that – either all the vodka masked the symptoms or it sent all the bugs and viruses running for the hills.

Nasty Vodka

Run, little diseases, run!

So, feeling a bit down and more than a little sorry for myself, imagine my excitement when I read the front of my ice cream tub and it promised me a “happiness message” inside!

I don’t usually do “happy”. My emotional range generally varies between “a bit down” and “reasonably content”. The only time I get annoyed (unless I’m driving – “driving draliman” is a completely different animal) is when I can’t get my computer at work to do what I want it to. Sometimes I get the urge to throw my mouse against a wall.

Mouse Throw Take 1

No, not that sort of mouse!

I’m so sorry, there’s been a communications mishap with the DraliDoodles(TM) team. Let’s try that again.

Mouse Throw Take 2

That’s better.

So I was more than ready for some happiness! Here’s what I found inside.

Ice Cream Tolstoy

“If you want to be happy, be” – Leo Tolstoy

What? What’s this then? What does that even mean? I was expecting something reasonably trite, like “To be happy, love yourself!” but instead I get a metaphysical message from a dead Russian. I’m sure it’s very deep and all, but I wasn’t in the mood for deep. Fortunately I had another tub (I like my ice cream, me). So I cracked it open, my excitement mounting. What would I find? What gem of happiness wisdom would I find?

Ice Cream Cheetah

“Which big cat should you never play cards with? A cheetah.”

Kill me now.

Note – no mousies were hurt during the writing of this post.

  1. December 15, 2013 at 10:19 am

    Firstly, I’m sorry you were sick. I hope you’re feeling better now?

    Secondly– everything about this post was hilarious. The germ-fighting vodka, the splatting mouse (awful and hilarious), and the super strange happiness messages, haha! I loved it muchly!

    Like

    • December 15, 2013 at 10:37 am

      I’m glad you enjoyed it! I’m pretty much back to my old self now, thanks 🙂
      I should have been more specific when I asked the DraliDoodles team for “mouse hitting wall”.
      I shall be opening a new tub of ice cream fairly soon – fingers crossed for a joke which hasn’t come straight out of a cheap Christmas cracker!

      Like

  2. December 15, 2013 at 11:36 am

    Ah being sick sucks! 😦 On the upside, your doodles are awesome.

    Like

    • December 15, 2013 at 3:21 pm

      On the upside it’s probably the shortest bug (if it was a bug) I’ve ever had – about 6 hours (plus a couple of days when I wasn’t quite 100%). Nothing compared to some…
      I’m glad you are enjoying my doodles! Getting the graphics tablet a few months ago was great, as I don’t have a red pen so I couldn’t do blood 🙂

      Like

      • December 15, 2013 at 4:06 pm

        Blood makes everything better. 🙂

        Like

      • December 15, 2013 at 4:13 pm

        We are of one mind! When in doubt, when your flash fiction is somewhat lacking, blow someone’s arm off. And draw a picture of it 🙂
        I sound like a psycho now 😦

        Like

      • December 15, 2013 at 4:16 pm

        *Slowly backs away* 🙂

        Like

      • December 15, 2013 at 4:23 pm

        Bwahahaha 🙂

        Like

  3. December 15, 2013 at 5:52 pm

    You clearly need to eat more take-out Chinese food with a double order of fortune cookies.

    Like

    • December 15, 2013 at 6:39 pm

      That might be the best way to get “inspiring” messages. Fortune cookies have been around for ages, ice cream is new to the game and they haven’t quite got it down yet.

      Like

  4. December 15, 2013 at 8:24 pm

    Ahhhh hahahaha I’m so sorry but I think that second joke is hilarious. I’m so sorry you sought happiness from ice cream (I do the same thing, more than you could possibly imagine…) and were ultimately disappointed. I think you may be onto something with the vodka and germs though. At least… I am willing to test this theory for you for the rest of the winter months…

    Like

    • December 15, 2013 at 8:29 pm

      (Deadpan mode) Yeah, that second joke was a real side-splitter. (End deadpan mode)
      I guess the key to happiness is not ice cream after all. It’s just the key to an expanding waistline 🙂
      Good luck with the vodka experiment, but don’t carry it to the extremes I did 😦

      Like

  5. December 16, 2013 at 7:31 am

    Oh no! Throwing up is the worst type of sick ~ get well soon!!
    I’m also a ginormous fan of ice cream and I’d really love to receive wisdom at the end of the tub. It would make me feel like I was eating with more purpose and not just because I’m addicted to the delicious nature of ice cream!
    If you want to be happy, be heading back to the fridge for another tub – ASAP! 🙂
    ~Andrea<3

    Like

    • December 16, 2013 at 7:44 am

      Funnily enough, the “happy wisdom” is on the inside of the lid! I suppose they annoy you with the stupid message and then you comfort eat the ice cream to get over it 🙂

      Like

  6. December 16, 2013 at 10:30 pm

    That ice cream happy message would had ticked me off a wee bit. Great ice cream makes me very happy, keep the rhetoric to themselves.
    Ice cream is a basic food group in my house. I want good, no, great ice cream. My brain turns off and taste buds come life. My endorphins sing.
    I do not want a carton to tell me what to feel. Ruin my ice cream experience.
    That’s my humble opinion.
    Vodka was my hanging over the toilet, sleeping on the bathroom floor drink.
    Oh Lordy!
    Poor DrAli!! Being sick makes me appreciate everyday feeling good. Good your feeling better.
    Loved the doodles, my mouse went flying this morning and I’m not picking it up. Put it in time out.

    Like

    • December 17, 2013 at 5:25 am

      Wow, you do love your ice cream!
      As you say, when we buy buy ice cream we’re after the ice cream experience, not dodgy Christmas cracker jokes.
      After so many years, being sick was quite a shock!
      I hope it was only your computer mouse that went flying and not a real one 🙂

      Like

      • December 18, 2013 at 7:58 am

        I do enjoy my ice cream. It is the only food I don’t share.

        Like

      • December 18, 2013 at 8:06 am

        Quite right too. That smooth creamy goodness is just too good 🙂

        Like

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