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FFftPP – Motherlode

Here is my story for Roger’s writing challenge Flash Fiction for the Purposeful Practitioner. The supplied introductory sentence is in bold in my story.

I had a go at some “1950’s detective” this week. It didn’t quite work but it was a bit of fun :-).

Image public domain

Image public domain

 

We were within a mile-and-a-half of the service roads when we found it. Right where she said it’d be.

She came ta the office yesterday. Bull Duggan Investigations. I’m Bull Duggan.  Pleased ta meet ya. She had legs up ta her ears so I had a listen. Said she knew where it was, tried to charge me for the location. I tried ta stall but she was tough, tough as my wife’s meatloaf. I caved. Paid the broad.

So here I am, slogging through Nowheresville USA like some schmuck on a hiking vacation. ‘Cept this hike’s about to hit the motherlode. I yell at the boy to get his legs moving. Lazy good fer nothin’ but he’s my cousin’s kid. Wanted me ta show ‘im the ropes. You know how that goes.

So we find the guy. He’s long gone. Deader’n a dodo spit roasted over an open fire. The kid chucks. He ain’t got the stomach fer this kinda work. I shoo off the vultures. Some don’t like ‘em, but they’re just surviving, live and let live. I pick through the body. I hit pay dirt.

There it is. Shiny like a brand new nickel. The Maltese Budgie. Pay day. Now to track down that broad…

 

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  1. January 18, 2016 at 7:31 pm

    The Maltese Budgie … the next box office smash hit! I love it.

    Like

    • January 18, 2016 at 8:43 pm

      The Falcon’s lesser known (though still highly sought-after) cousin…

      Like

  2. January 19, 2016 at 12:11 am

    LMAO! Excellent! The tough guy vernacular worked well. Great take on the prompt. (Now the secret to a nice meatloaf is to…)

    Like

    • January 19, 2016 at 8:06 am

      Someone did a film noir type thing a while ago (it might have been you, actually) and it was so excellent I wanted to give it a try. I’m glad you liked it!
      I’ll pass your meatloaf tips on to Bull’s missus 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. January 19, 2016 at 12:56 am

    So funny! HaHaHa! Maltese Budgie! 😀

    Like

    • January 19, 2016 at 8:07 am

      Everyone’s after the Falcon. The Budgie’s the real prize 🙂

      Like

  4. January 19, 2016 at 6:21 am

    Hilarious, Ali. I didn’t know you were a fan of film noir. I love the “Maltese Budgie”. Good imitation of American slang. My son’s in his late 30’s but loved old movies with Humphrey Bogart. He (my son) used to wear a trench coat and felt hat like Bogie’s to high school in the early 90’s. One of his teachers at the time told him he was too young to be familiar with those movies. Great fun. 😀 — Suzanne

    Like

    • January 19, 2016 at 8:09 am

      Sounds like your son was really into it!
      I’m glad you liked my attempt at “American”. I used the word “vacation” for the first time in my life and everything 🙂

      Like

  5. January 19, 2016 at 4:10 pm

    Hahaha! I love it! The voice in it is wonderful!

    Like

    • January 19, 2016 at 7:52 pm

      I’m glad you liked my little attempt at 1950’s detective style 🙂

      Like

  6. January 19, 2016 at 10:44 pm

    Exciting hunt for a treasure. I like the voice of your speaker and how he talks. Hope it was worth it for him to find the object for the woman. I don’t know if I’d trust her. Great write.

    Like

    • January 20, 2016 at 8:08 am

      I don’t know if I’d trust her either, women in these types of thing are rarely all they seem! I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. January 20, 2016 at 4:10 am

    Very well done! Great voice, the humor was great! Now that he’s found it he returns to find the broad dead and he’s the suspect. 🙂 Got to keep the story moving! Loved it!

    http://yolandarenee.blogspot.com/2016/01/doppelganger.html

    Like

    • January 20, 2016 at 8:09 am

      Yeah, that would be great and entirely in keeping with the genre! I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Like

  8. January 26, 2016 at 11:14 pm

    I love the ‘tough guy’ voice of your narrator. The Maltese Budgie, eh? You have a sick sense of humor, and it always makes me smile.

    Like

    • January 27, 2016 at 11:01 am

      It’s not as famous as the “Falcon” but still highly sought-after 🙂
      I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. January 27, 2016 at 1:45 pm

    Loved the dialect and the meatloaf!!! Enjoyed! I agree with a blogger above me… I think he is going to find the broad dead??? Hope to see you next week.

    Like

    • January 27, 2016 at 2:04 pm

      Finding the broad dead (in his office) would be just the sort of twist stories like these include. I’m glad you liked it!

      Liked by 1 person

      • January 27, 2016 at 3:19 pm

        Superb! Love the old Private Eye Shows.

        Like

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