Interview With The draliman
Interviewer: We’re here today with draliman, to see if we can find out what makes him tick.
draliman: I’m not clockwork. I’m a real boy, with real feelings.
Interviewer: Just a turn of phrase.
draliman: Oh. Continue.
Interviewer: Thank you. So, half full or half empty?
draliman: Excuse me?
Interviewer: Do you see the glass as being half full or half empty?
draliman: Oh, I see. Work your way up to the heavy stuff, why don’t you. Half empty.
Interviewer: So you would describe yourself as a pessimist?
draliman: I see it as “disappointment management”.
Interviewer: Right. Cornetto or Magnum?
draliman: Ice cream or a hand gun?
Interviewer: Magnum the ice cream.
draliman: Oh. That depends on my mood. If I go for Magnum, I like to eat the chocolate off and then suck the yummy ice cream off the stick. Cornetto’s good for biting into.
Interviewer: Town or Country?
draliman: Country. All open and quiet. Lovely. I’m not a fan of being squashed in with too many people.
Interviewer: Cats or dogs?
draliman: Definitely cats. They pretty much look after themselves, and I’m lazy. I had a bad experience with a dog when I was tiny. I was on the beach and a dog ran off with my underpants. Stop laughing.
Interviewer: Sorry. It must have been very traumatic.
draliman: It was.
Interviewer: Well, I think we have enough for now.
draliman: What? That’s it? I drove miles to get here. Aren’t you even going to take my picture?
Interviewer: Um… no. I don’t think that would be a very good idea.
draliman: Huh? Hey, come back! What about my petrol money? Hello? Hello?
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“disappointment management” – I like that! On my pessimistic nature, I usually say, “Always surprised, never disappointed.”
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Yeh, I like that!
I prefer to start with low expectations. Although that has led to the nickname “Ali of doom” on occasion.
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Goodness, how did I miss this before – I now have a distressing image of a Golden Retriever running into the sea at Penzance, depositing some little Y Fronts that later wash up on a deserted beach in New England 🙂 identified only by an indistinct label inside that reads Calvin K…. The young girl who descovers them has a lifelong ambition to contact Calvin her destined life partner as she believes in fate, 35 years later she still waits…. sorry, got carried away there 🙂
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Ha ha! A bit of Back to the Future there I think :-). It’s actually quite an old post and I suddenly realised it should probably be linked to via my rather small and uninformative About page to flesh it out a bit.
I don’t remember the breed of dog, but it could easily have happened at Penzance, since it’s only 20 miles sway!
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I must say you’re extraordinarily positive & creative for a pessimist. Great piece, it really had me laughing 🙂
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I have my “happy” moments 🙂
Glad you enjoyed it!
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I love this so much. Can I steal the idea??? It turns out (just checked), I’d be happy to interview myself. I wasn’t totally surprised, didn’t seriously think I’d be turned down, but one never knows (I mean, you think you now someone…) — anyway, I guess you gave me the final push I needed. I’m a pessimist too, but usually cheery. Funny, not a criticism of the above comment, but I come across that whenever it comes up, the optimist vs. pessimist question. I feel like pessimism has GOT TO BE one of the leading causes of silliness, sense of humor, cheerfulness (not that you could tell from my blog). Of course it (pessimism) figures into some not-so-cheery stuff too.
I’ll let you know when my interview is posted, assuming … 😉
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Glad you liked it! I’m looking forward to seeing your interview of yourself, assuming you can persuade yourself to be interviewed by yourself, of course 🙂
I get a lot of mileage out of cheerful pessimism.
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But they won’t get far before you skewer them with your scorpion tail and drag them back 🙂
I can kind of relate as well.
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what type of management? is there any training program to develop better service? This is indeed a wonderful idea!
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I think the art of disappointment management has to be learnt as you go along, no training programmes available I’m afraid!
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