Home > My Life Musings > When I grow up

When I grow up

Me in 1992.

Grad Ball 1992 - young and full of hope

“When I grow up, I want to be a train driver.”

That was my number one choice when I was little. Every year we went to Scotland on holiday to stay with my gran, and we went by train. The MotorRail to be exact. That’s the one where they put the car on a trailer at the back of the train. And I really wanted to drive that train.

Then, for a brief period, I wanted to be a football (soccer) player. Well, which little boy didn’t? Unfortunately, I had no talent. I sat on the sidelines, watched the game and helped with the half-time oranges.

“School days are the best days of your life”, they say. Who are “they”? People who never went to school, evidently. Because it’s bullshit. I hated school. University’s where it’s at. Now that was fun. Sometimes I wish I could go back and do it all over again. Meeting friends in the Students’ Union for a couple of pints, rushing around to friends in the middle of the night to get help on an assignment…

Well, now those days are gone – time to grow up.

When I as at school we did one of those tests which is supposed to tell you the kind of job you might be suited to. That was one of the most hilarious balls-ups of all time. I decided that it was more important to get on well with co-workers than the work environment, and working outside might be good. The result?

“Youth club leader” or “Pig farmer”.

Picture courtesy of Stephen McKay

Excuse me? Pig farmer? What in the names of the Gods of Olympus were they thinking? I mean, I’m all for pigs but after their conversion to bacon, thank you very much indeed.

There’s nothing wrong with pig farming, it’s just not for me. I’m more of the academic type. So these tests should be taken with a pinch of salt.

So I spent some time as a laser physicist and now I’m a website programmer. A job which didn’t even exist when I was at school. There was no web until well into my university life.

So, thank you for inventing the web, Sir Tim Berners-Lee. Without you, I’d be coming home every night smelling of pig poopies.

  1. goldfish
    October 2, 2011 at 4:46 pm

    Pig farming is a very honorable profession. Without it, we wouldn’t have bacon and a world without bacon is not a world at all. The same goes for the fine people who grow coffee. Those people rock.

    When I did that test, they said I should be a teacher, which is funny since I mostly abhor children.


  2. October 2, 2011 at 5:07 pm

    At least pig farming (and similar) is a nice outdoorsy kind of thing, Unfortunately I’m the sort of person who loves bacon and such but prefers not to think about anything leading to the deaths of the animals.
    Maybe forest ranger? That sounds good. Until it gets cold and wet. Then I’ll be a computer programmer again.


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