Home > Fiction > Melted


It’s time for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle! My more-or-less 100 words this week have been inspired by a photo contributed by Renee Heath.

It’s a fantastic photo, full of demonic promise. However, I have resisted the temptation to ooze living wax down some poor sod’s throat and have had a shoddy stab at The Romance. I haven’t tried The Romance before and it feels a bit flat, possibly due to a lack of blood and other-wordly creatures. However, it’s good to push one’s boundaries every once in a while.

I’ll see if I can kill off twice as many characters next week to make up for it.

To read other stories for this week, click on the little blue froggy!

[Edit: I would like to thank Judah First and Sustainabilitea for helping me out in the second sentence of the “winter” passage – I just couldn’t find the right word!]


Copyright Renee Heath

As the wind whistled through the trees and shook tiles from the roofs he gave her his best line. She blew past him and was gone.

Snow lay thick on the ground when he invited her to share mulled wine. Her frosty mien belied the interest in her eyes.

When the first flowers appeared and the apple trees blossomed he enticed her to coffee. Hope grew within him.

In the warmth of a summer evening they shared a meal. He opened his heart to her and in the flickering light of the candles she melted.

  1. May 1, 2014 at 6:54 pm

    oh I see you have a romantic hidden deep within, Alistair… very nice job!


    • May 1, 2014 at 7:01 pm

      Very deep within, I fear. I had to really dig for this one but nothing ventured, nothing gained 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed it!


  2. May 1, 2014 at 7:04 pm

    Clever and still you managed to be creepy 🙂


    • May 1, 2014 at 7:09 pm

      It’s hard to break the habit of a lifetime (the creepy, not the clever) 🙂


  3. May 1, 2014 at 7:29 pm

    Oh my! This is quite mysterious – is it a woman? Fire? A Fiery Woman? A mysterious woman who stole your heart? Ugh, I can’t stand the suspense! I need a 100 more words! 😀


    • May 1, 2014 at 8:05 pm

      I’m sure it’s the woman of his dreams! It’s as romantic as I could manage 🙂


  4. May 1, 2014 at 8:09 pm

    Oh — that was romantic.. never give up in a case like this.. a perfect dark-eyed gentleman I guess… (actually so far there have been a total lack of creepy…and lots of romance… )


    • May 1, 2014 at 8:11 pm

      Thanks, I guess candles bring out the romantic in us.


  5. NotAPunkRocker
    May 1, 2014 at 8:30 pm

    Nice how you showed the change over time in so few words. Makes up for the lack of death and/or demons 😉

    (seriously, well done, I’m just not much of a romantic anymore LOL)


    • May 1, 2014 at 8:33 pm

      Thanks! I thought linking it to the seasons would add, I don’t know, something.
      I’m not sure I was ever a romantic (outside of my own head) 🙂


  6. May 1, 2014 at 8:48 pm

    I love the progression of his wooing! Nice job!

    This sentence didn’t work for me, though:

    Her frosty look belied the interest in her eyes.

    I don’t know how her eyes can look frosty and interested at the same time? Maybe Her frosty reply belied the interest in her eyes? Some way of communicating different than the look? I don’t know, just didn’t make sense to me. But I’m often senseless, so I wouldn’t worry about it! lol


    • May 1, 2014 at 9:11 pm

      You’re dead right about that sentence – I worried at that myself. I reworded it over and over and never did get it right. What I should have done is left it alone and gone back to it tomorrow, but I’m impatient at the best of times! In the end I decided to convince myself that the “look” implied her general facial expression 🙂
      In fact I might change “look” to “scowl” – thanks!


  7. gentlestitches
    May 1, 2014 at 9:42 pm

    Awww!!! An exciting, romantic read in only 100 words. Mulled wine, candlelight and lots of melting. What fun!


  8. May 1, 2014 at 10:06 pm

    Ahh, nicely done big guy!


    • May 2, 2014 at 6:39 pm

      Thanks! One of the hardest I’ve ever written.


  9. May 2, 2014 at 3:13 am

    he doesn’t want to give up, eh? persistence pays. she better be worth it. 🙂


  10. May 2, 2014 at 4:49 am

    Whew! The woman melted in the end! I would have been disappointed had nobody been offed this week! 😉


    • May 2, 2014 at 6:41 pm

      Figuratively, ES. She figuratively melted. Sorry, maybe next week 🙂


  11. May 2, 2014 at 6:35 am

    Al, Well done! 🙂 For a first try at romance you did a good job. I’m really glad there was a happy ending where he got the girl. 🙂



    • May 2, 2014 at 6:42 pm

      Thanks! I figured I should try to squeeze at least one happy ending into my usual seemingly never-ending stream of woe 🙂


  12. merbear74
    May 2, 2014 at 11:26 am

    Aw, how sweet DM!


    • May 2, 2014 at 6:43 pm

      That’s the way I roll. Occasionally 🙂
      Thank you!


      • merbear74
        May 2, 2014 at 10:50 pm

        Very welcome! 🙂


  13. May 2, 2014 at 2:00 pm

    Amazing. You got through 4 seasons & a love story in just a 100 words or so. It’s so romantic & not a drop of blood anywhere lol. Great story 🙂


    • May 2, 2014 at 6:45 pm

      Thanks! Sometimes it takes time to catch the girl of your dreams.
      (It was tough keeping the blood and whatnot out of it but I figured I should try for at least one week.)


  14. May 2, 2014 at 5:48 pm

    Wow, I loved, loved, loved this. It was like an entire novel in 100 words 😉


    • May 2, 2014 at 6:46 pm

      I’m glad you enjoyed it! Probably the hardest story I’ve written for FF, way outside my comfort zone but I figured I’d give it a try.


  15. May 2, 2014 at 8:27 pm

    Excellent attempt at romance. Good for you for pushing yourself into a new area. Here’s a suggestion for that difficult passage. How about “her frosty mien”? I think that might be closer to what you want to say than “scowl” is. What do you think?



    • May 3, 2014 at 4:06 am

      Yes, “mien” is exactly the word which would fit there. The original “look” was entirely wrong as Judah First pointed out. “Scowl” was only slightly better. “Mien” for the win 🙂 I’ll pop that in I think.


  16. May 3, 2014 at 9:15 am

    that was very nice,Ali! glad you decided to try The Romance. 🙂


    • May 3, 2014 at 7:19 pm

      I’m glad you liked it. I like to try something a bit different now again amidst my usual tales of woe 🙂


  17. May 3, 2014 at 9:50 am

    Persistence pays! I loved the pursuit through the seasons here – brilliant 🙂


    • May 3, 2014 at 7:20 pm

      He’s certainly the patient sort. I thought using seasons was the easiest way to show the passing of time in so few words.
      I’m glad you liked it!


  18. May 3, 2014 at 10:19 am

    Wow ! it takes a autumn’s wind, winter’s snow, spring’s blossoms and the warmth of a summer to finally melt a woman 🙂 The best 100 word romance I have ever read !!
    I am missing out on your micro fiction. Promise to be more regular 🙂


    • May 3, 2014 at 7:22 pm

      It took all that to melt that particular woman anyway! I’m glad you liked it.
      Just pop back whenever you have a minute, but be aware that my flash fictions are usually a whole lot darker. This may be the only romance I ever write but I had to do at least one 🙂


      • May 4, 2014 at 3:40 pm

        I did have a taste of the dark flashes of your imagination 🙂 It is something I lack heeee heeee 😉


        • May 4, 2014 at 4:21 pm

          That dark undercurrent seems to permeate everything!


  19. May 3, 2014 at 2:04 pm

    You did very well in the romance department. No blood, guts or dripping wax down someone’s throat. This really is very good.


    • May 3, 2014 at 7:23 pm

      Thanks! I can’t help thinking I missed a great horror opportunity but it was nice to do something a bit different for a change.


  20. May 3, 2014 at 5:34 pm

    I love this romantic side of you, Alistair! I’m going to go melt now.


    • May 3, 2014 at 7:24 pm

      That’s nice of you to say, I’m really glad you enjoyed my little foray into The Romance 🙂


      • May 3, 2014 at 7:29 pm

        And my story is the aftermath of yours! Oh no! Say it isn’t so. Ha ha.


        • May 4, 2014 at 5:50 am

          It isn’t so! It isn’t so! My couple lived happily ever after 🙂


  21. May 3, 2014 at 9:10 pm

    Dear Ali,

    It’s always good to stretch your perceived limitations as a writer. I think you were successful with the romance. I enjoyed the seasonal progression and her melting. Nice one.




    • May 4, 2014 at 5:53 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      I’m glad you enjoyed my foray into romance. I thought it would be nice to try it at least once.


  22. May 4, 2014 at 2:13 pm

    Good thing that I read the comments to learn that the melting was figurative which is still a nice play on words from the prompt’s candle. I had a different view though : I thought he had seduced a snow(wo)man???
    So you got the Like for my twisted understanding, LOL, run with it !


    • May 4, 2014 at 4:17 pm

      A few others thought that as well – it’s the sort of thing I would usually write. Maybe that was lurking in my subconscious!


  23. Sun
    May 5, 2014 at 2:27 am

    yes, i definitely love your character’s persistence through the seasonal changes. wonderful story, Alistair.


    • May 5, 2014 at 5:13 am

      And it paid off in the end! I’m glad you enjoyed it.


  1. January 11, 2015 at 9:45 am
  2. February 22, 2015 at 4:49 pm

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