Home > Fiction > Ashes to Ashes

Ashes to Ashes

It’s Friday today and that means it’s Friday Fictioneers time! As I write this there are already nearly 100 stories of roughly 100 words each up on the link page, can you believe? I was going to post my story yesterday, but I just got a PlayStation 4 so I’ve been a bit distracted πŸ™‚

This week’s photo has been contributed by Friday Fictioneerer Jennifer PendergastΒ and the whole challenge is ably hosted as always by Rochelle. To read the other stories for this week, click on Bracken (the little blue froggy).


jennifer-pendergast4

Copyright Jennifer Pendergast

Randolph raced through the shade towards the welcoming light beyond the archway. Three months he’d been a captive. Abused, mistreated. His neck hurt; he rubbed the wounds as he ran.

And the hunger! They’d given him a sickly red liquid to drink, but always the hunger returned.

What had they done to him?

He burst into the sunlight, his shout of triumph becoming a scream as his skin blistered. His pursuers stopped short of the archway, staying in the shade. Flames consumedΒ his body and his viewΒ of freedom disappeared as his eyeballs liquefied.

His ashes blew across the field on the summer breeze, free at last.

  1. NotAPunkRocker
    May 30, 2014 at 7:08 pm

    Poor Randolph 😦 Great story, but poor fella.

    (Playstation 4…FIFA?)

    Like

    • May 30, 2014 at 8:57 pm

      Possibly a mercy for him – certainly for his prospective future victims πŸ™‚

      FIFA is available on PS4, but I’m more into games where you get to shoot things in the head. Go figure.

      Like

      • NotAPunkRocker
        May 30, 2014 at 9:23 pm

        Wow, two assumptions ruined in one post: that all vampires written about today sparkle, and all PS4s in Europe can only play FIFA. πŸ˜‰

        Like

      • May 31, 2014 at 3:34 am

        Damn modern sparkly vampires. Damn them I say.

        Like

  2. May 30, 2014 at 7:28 pm

    Truly horrifying! That sickly red liquid wasn’t red wine by any chance, was it? 😦

    Like

    • May 30, 2014 at 8:57 pm

      I’m sure it was red wine (shakes head) πŸ™‚

      Like

  3. May 30, 2014 at 7:32 pm

    Awww, Randolph, honey! Baby vampire now ashes 😦

    Now I need to watch Near Dark – best vampire bursting-into-ashes-in-daylight 80’s movie ever!

    Like

    • May 30, 2014 at 9:00 pm

      He never stood a chance. “Don’t go into the light”!

      I haven’t actually seen that – just checked it out on Amazon, it’s cheap and looks good – one for the list. My faves are “From Dusk Till Dawn” for hilarious gratuitous violence and “John Carpenter’s Vampires” for true vampire horror.

      Like

      • May 30, 2014 at 9:11 pm

        Near Dark is one of the best out there for its genre – even better than so many that came before and after it. You’ll even see at least 3 alumni in here who ended up in Aliens!

        Like

      • May 30, 2014 at 9:18 pm

        That’s settled then. I’m putting in an Amazon order soon, I’ll give it a whirl. And I just noticed it’s directed by Kathryn Bigelow!

        I just realised I left “Lost Boys” off my vampire list πŸ™‚

        Like

      • May 30, 2014 at 9:23 pm

        Yes! She did an awesome job here. Just remember that it’s a bonafide 80’s movie – but for that decade, it’s still a great vampire tale – P.S. no glittering vamps found here! πŸ™‚

        Like

  4. May 30, 2014 at 7:33 pm

    I don’t think Randolph is human? Is he?

    DJ

    Like

    • May 30, 2014 at 9:01 pm

      Nope. Not since he was taken captive. Now he’s not a vampire either, just a sad little pile of ashes 😦

      Like

  5. May 30, 2014 at 7:36 pm

    Poor baby vampire. Such a short trip into eternity!

    Like

    • May 30, 2014 at 9:02 pm

      He didn’t last very long, did he? Maybe someone should have mentioned his transformation to him.

      Like

  6. May 30, 2014 at 7:41 pm

    YUK! I hope the wind doesn’t blow this way, Draliman. Pawkisses for the weekend πŸ™‚

    Like

    • May 30, 2014 at 9:02 pm

      It’s okay, it’s blowing out to sea πŸ™‚ Have a lovely weekend yourself!

      Like

  7. May 30, 2014 at 7:57 pm

    Al, How could you. Letting poor Randolph run into the sun like that when you knew he was a vampire. It looks like he wasn’t one of the sparkly kind. Well written. Go back now and enjoy your PlayStation 4. πŸ™‚ —Susan

    Like

    • May 30, 2014 at 9:06 pm

      I knew, unfortunately he didn’t πŸ™‚ I wouldn’t mind seeing a few of those sparkly vampires bursting into flames.
      Just spent an hour and a half playing Killzone. Shot some baddies. Will read others’ stories tomorrow, it’s bedtime!

      Like

  8. May 30, 2014 at 8:40 pm

    I know now who you remind me of. Anthony Horowitz! Seriously Drali.. waiting for that book! πŸ™‚

    Like

    • May 30, 2014 at 9:09 pm

      Thanks!
      There’s a huge difference between flash fiction and a novel 😦 Maybe one day…

      Like

  9. May 30, 2014 at 9:01 pm

    Eeek. Captivating, yet disturbing. A well written piece.

    Like

    • June 3, 2014 at 3:40 pm

      Sorry for the late reply – your comment fell into my spam folder 😦
      Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it. “Captivating yet disturbing” sounds exactly what I was going for πŸ™‚

      Like

  10. May 30, 2014 at 9:49 pm

    Totally adorable vampire tale. Turned it on its head. Can’t help but feel sorry for the poor chap. I guess his makers should have explained things a bit more…

    Like

    • May 31, 2014 at 3:35 am

      A quick induction course would have been good. Heath and Safety saves lives!

      Like

  11. May 31, 2014 at 3:26 am

    Yikes! The price of freedom is steep.

    Like

  12. May 31, 2014 at 8:49 am

    A gory tale very well narrated.

    Like

    • May 31, 2014 at 10:03 am

      Thanks! Less blood, more ash this week.

      Like

  13. May 31, 2014 at 9:20 am

    Short, sharp and excessively nasty. So well written.

    Like

    • May 31, 2014 at 10:05 am

      Thank you! “Excessively nasty” is my thing πŸ™‚

      Like

  14. May 31, 2014 at 11:09 am

    Dear Ali,

    Ak. The idea of his eyes liquefying is more than a little disturbing. Your descriptions are vivid. I rather enjoyed this (dare I say that?) I can’t help wondering if it’s XBOX inspired. πŸ˜‰

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • June 1, 2014 at 6:17 am

      Dear Rochelle,
      I had to do major editing but I was determined to get the eyeballs in πŸ™‚
      My inspirations are many and varied but include the Xbox!
      Ali

      Like

  15. May 31, 2014 at 4:19 pm

    Aaaa. Gruesome. But at least he was finally free the drift with the wind and never be harmed again. Good job.

    Like

    • June 1, 2014 at 6:18 am

      That’s what I was thinking – freedom rather than death, or “second death” or however it works with vampires.

      Like

  16. May 31, 2014 at 6:05 pm

    Great story Draliman, and yes it’s gruesome too. Melting eyeballs? Yuck, Well – Ta-Ta until next week – sweet dreams! Nan πŸ™‚

    Like

    • June 1, 2014 at 6:22 am

      I always have sweet dreams, melting eyeballs notwithstanding πŸ™‚
      Glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

  17. May 31, 2014 at 6:21 pm

    well at least he didn’t sparkle!
    great description.. specially with the eyeballs liquefying. great classic vampire tale.

    Like

    • June 1, 2014 at 6:23 am

      I won’t be having with any of these new-age sparkly vampires. I’m a traditionalist πŸ™‚

      Like

  18. May 31, 2014 at 6:35 pm

    Great descriptions – particularly enjoyed liquifying eyeballs.

    Like

    • June 1, 2014 at 6:24 am

      Thanks – I was determined to get the eyeballs in no matter what else I had to edit out.

      Like

  19. May 31, 2014 at 6:40 pm

    Ha.. yes that’s what happens to the undead… it’s hard to learn to drink blood….

    Like

    • June 1, 2014 at 6:24 am

      Sooner or later they all burst into flames or collapse to ashes.

      Like

  20. Sun
    May 31, 2014 at 8:42 pm

    aww, gee . . . just when you think life will get better, a solar tragedy. that’s a powerful group he escaped from!

    Like

    • June 1, 2014 at 6:25 am

      Not the escape he hoped for but freedom nonetheless.

      Like

  21. June 1, 2014 at 6:09 am

    Very creative. I did not see this coming. Good descriptive wording.

    Like

    • June 1, 2014 at 6:27 am

      Thanks! I like to build up to a surprise at the end.

      Like

  22. June 1, 2014 at 1:34 pm

    I wish this would happen to Bat Boy so we’d quit seeing him on those tabloid covers….

    Like

    • June 1, 2014 at 5:45 pm

      I’ve Googled Bat Boy and wow – what a freaky-looking thing! I heartily agree with you.

      Like

  23. June 2, 2014 at 9:57 am

    Free at last! I love a happy ending πŸ™‚

    Like

  24. June 2, 2014 at 5:13 pm

    darkly delicious, yet again πŸ˜‰

    Like

    • June 3, 2014 at 7:31 am

      Ooh, that has a lovely ring to it – “darkly delicious” πŸ™‚

      Like

  25. June 3, 2014 at 12:49 pm

    Strangely, it fits the photo perfectly. I really enjoyed this one.

    Like

    • June 3, 2014 at 1:25 pm

      Glad you enjoyed it. I tried to think of things that could go wrong when entering the sunlight and I thought “vampires”.

      Like

  26. June 4, 2014 at 5:52 am

    Humph, you are incredibly mean and self-centered in your treatment of Randolph. All about you writing a great flash fiction. WTG.

    Like

    • June 4, 2014 at 12:01 pm

      I’d apologise to him but unfortunately he’s dead 😦

      Like

  27. June 20, 2014 at 2:22 pm

    I don’t like vivid icky stories at all, but your concluding line redeems this one. I can’t resist a good line like that one πŸ™‚

    Like

    • June 21, 2014 at 8:24 am

      Most of my flash fiction wouldn’t suit you then I think! I felt that this one needed a more thoughtful ending after the rather gruesome previous lines.

      Like

  28. Barry Lawson
    June 26, 2014 at 6:15 pm

    Didn’t know where the story was headed, but nailed me with surprise! Great job!

    Like

    • June 27, 2014 at 6:23 am

      Thanks! For some reason “shade to sun” says “vampire” to me πŸ™‚

      Like

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